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Post by quantumrose on Mar 28, 2014 8:50:31 GMT
Hi Kmum, It's such a relief to know you're not alone isn't it?! You've done amazingly well to get all the help you have. Big hugs, don't be scared, it really is going to be ok....xx
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Post by kmum on Mar 28, 2014 10:33:22 GMT
Oh my goodness thank you so much. This really is a blessing to be in contact with people of similar experience. Sometimes I can't see a way out and still get very dark days! But hoping it turns around soon.
You take care and keep in touch
:-)
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Post by monica on Mar 28, 2014 14:26:44 GMT
Hi
How r u?
Re health anxiety I was taught a few cbt techniques which have helped. Like u when in depths of pni I used to freak if kids had cold and think they were dying. I used to self analyse and constantly focus on every symptom and ache and think it was something horrendous.
The first technique was to write down the anxiety provoking thougt so child has runny nose cough and temperature. Next write evidence that this is worst case scenario - I'd write down they are dying . Next to that write evidence against - its s cold dr not worried its winter.
This sounds z bit silly but my anxiety was so bad I completely lost ability to rationalise and seeing in black and white that my fear was irrational helped me.
I used breathing techniques - slow deeps breaths through stomach - to calm myself down and although it took a bit of time to master it did help me.
Also when a thought pops into your head clap or say stop aloud to break the thought.
This illness can feel like a roller coaster ride up down and so on . You so desperately want to fet beyter but it can be slow process. Hang on in there - you will recover x
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Post by kmum on Mar 28, 2014 17:17:33 GMT
Doesn't sound silly at all! Was only weeks ago I was writing down exactly same thing as you. It did help yes but still upset at having to do it in first place and not strong enought to rationalise myself!
Although my CBT guy hasn't mentioned this yet...apparently helps to put elastic band round wrist and ping it when mind races away!!! Guess so it hurts!
Just back from seeing GP. So, I have no Tumor in hyperthyroid!!! Don't ask!!! But she us referring me to maternity unit to consultant to enable them to explain to me properly what happened during the birth of my son as I'v obviously not dealt with it!!!!
On way to CBT session shortly. Yes, 6pm Friday night!!! What has my life come to?!?! My Fridays used to be with friends or in the pub lol! Cooking a meal, movie night or having dinner! Such is life eh
K
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Post by quantumrose on Mar 30, 2014 7:10:09 GMT
Happy mothers day to all of you, brave, wonderful, kind, women xxxx
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Post by monica on Mar 30, 2014 9:00:18 GMT
Enjoy your special day sweetie xxx
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Post by quantumrose on Mar 31, 2014 10:46:40 GMT
Had a lovely day yesterday, went to cinema and friends were visiting so plenty of nice distractions. Everyone's back at school/work/home now though and I'm struggling with the dreaded thoughts again. I've got a cold too. Been so lucky all winter but last few weeks Ive succumbed to every cold/tummy bug going. Health anxiety is in full swing. Also, paranoid about giving it to the kids. Not only would it b horrible for them but we're going on holiday on Friday. Just a little road trip but as it gets closer theres a few things I'm nervous about. One is that a friend is giving us a lift on her way somewhere else, shes then picking us up 5 days later. I realise that I like to have a get out plan with any situation. So that if I feel bad, I can get home. Im starting to feel a bit trapped by the idea of that not being an option. My period is also due at that time, which can leave me an emotional mess some months. I won't have my own space. I'll have to be polite and upbeat. The friends we're visiting are so lovely. But they aren't friends we see very often. I wish we wernt going for so long in a way but its not an option as our lift back is on a certain day. Public transport would be expensive and very very long!! I'll have to find a way of making this ok, I really dont want to freak out.
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Post by quantumrose on Mar 31, 2014 16:00:35 GMT
No way! I just caught myself actually making myself anxious. I was so genuinely happy. Chatting to my little boy and helping my daughter colour in. And I just thought "im not worrying. Something bad might happen and I wont notice because im happy". Horrible, like my brain has 'wired' itself to always worry. Im going to take it as a sign Im getting better, to notice my weird brain things.
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 1, 2014 8:10:24 GMT
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Post by monica on Apr 1, 2014 19:23:24 GMT
Hi
You mentioned in earlier post that ur brain is hard wired to worry. That's exactly what happens - you get into a pattern where all thoughts are worry thoughts and u have to retrain ur brain to think differently. I can remember when I was exactly like that - anxiety 24/7- then one evening I watched USA wife swap. During that programme I felt different to normal and it was only later I realised I'd been stress free for 30 mins but it was such an alien feeling I didn't even recognise it!
You WILL relearn to think stress free - you are doing really well.
Thanks for sharing that link for doodle mum. I love it! It brought a tear to my eye as the sketches are amazing and so uplifting!
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 3, 2014 8:09:58 GMT
USA wife swap it is then! I would even go on it myself if it meant I'd get better! Those moments of stress free are sooooo good.
I really need to vent. Im sorry, but here it goes.... I don't think my partner would know I had a cold unless he had to step over my body. He totally doesnt get it. I dont like pulling the 'poor me' card but seriously. Aside from trying to get myself better from the PNI, I also, by definition, have littlies to look after. That's fine, I can cope. But I also have the housework, work, general life stuff and at the moment a cold. I have felt really crappy and run down and it feels like my body is punishing me for not resting (how can I?) But I'd like to see my partner get up and spend a day looking after a feisty 1 year old and an inquisitive 4 year old when he's had hardly any sleep and has a cold and his ears are aching. Ive been in worse situations. And when I feel like this I also get really cross because there are people in much worse situations now. But I'm disheartened, unmotivated and Ive got to pack for a wknd away and tidy a pit of a house and keep my sproggs safe and happy. And he isn't acknowledging any of this. He seems hell bent on NOT acknowledging this. A little bit of encouragement and a pat on the back goes a long way.
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 3, 2014 8:15:33 GMT
I dont mean to sound ungrateful, we are all going to visit friends in wales this wknd, so hopefully it'll be a nice break xx
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Post by kmum on Apr 3, 2014 12:49:18 GMT
Your moans most def do not sound unreasonable!!! I do think men don't fully understand emotions/feelings and in particular PND. Either that or your hubby is just a complete shit!!!! Sorry lol. But it's true men seemed to be programmed to allow a woman to 'take control'.
It took me to break down and have severe panic attack and end up involving the family. After the doc had confirmed and my hubby realised I'd been struggling to even get out of bed he came around. He's a sweetheart and very thoughtful guy but he seriously just did not understand! He had me moan and cry for so long I think we had both started to think it was normal!!
Given how you feel, a cold will just tip you over the edge! Sounds like if the weekend away doesn't help, you may need to pull in your support team (family/friends/in laws) and have all areas covered for a week or so to allow you to rest and have quality time on your own!
The worst thing you can do is feel guilty (wish i would listen to own advice!!). You are Ill and given a little help and support and feeling like your partner or family or both will be there to step in if needed will make a world of difference! You would be back on track quicker if this were so. But you have to put foot down!!!! Tell them like it is.
Try enjoy your weekend and get some quality family time. Good luck. Look forward to gearing how you get on :-)
K
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Post by monica on Apr 3, 2014 17:08:02 GMT
Rant away! It's horrid when u feel ill and all u want to do is stay in bed but its business as usual . And soo frustrating when ur hubby remains oblivious to how u feel even though its obvious! But men are really from Mars and often don't have s clue unless r told clearly! Instead of feeling would up just give ur hubby a list of things to do and include in that an hour or so for urself!
Have s great weekend! Remember to relax and let others take over the workx
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 3, 2014 19:47:54 GMT
Thanks lovelies x Hubby and I go in cycles of me telling him how I feel, him responding, then forgetting, then me getting upset etc etc. Theres a whole load of rubbish that goes with that, like me worrying that he doesnt tell me how he is for fear of freaking me out but I do ask.....and he says he's fine most of the time. His mum is very supportive, which is a huge help. Anyway, I'll check in again after the wknd. Hope yours are fun xxxxx
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