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PNI?
Jun 5, 2014 17:11:45 GMT
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Post by monica on Jun 5, 2014 17:11:45 GMT
Hi
I was exactly like u. Honestly - the thoughts and the fear was with me 24/7. Tbh I've always been a worrier over illnesses but with pni this fear was magnified x1000 and it took over my life.
I have come through it though and so will u even though that might be hard to imagine right now. I'm not going to lie recovery is tough with ups and downs but u will get to the point where this doesn't rule ur lifex
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PNI?
Jun 9, 2014 17:13:33 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 9, 2014 17:13:33 GMT
Thanks Monica, I do really appreciate your support..
I go back to the GP tomorrow and really hoping she will be able to help me as almost every thought I have at the moment is overshadowed by a negative one...I never used to think this way so really hoping I won't always think this way..
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PNI?
Jun 10, 2014 19:15:09 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 10, 2014 19:15:09 GMT
So I have been referred for counselling though not sure how long it will take though I hope it's soon..
My head just feels so broken at the moment, I just want it to be fixed..and I have such a gorgeous little boy, I just want to be normal again for him...
Also I might be a bit of a fraud posting here because at no time has my dr mentioned it being PNI
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PNI?
Jun 10, 2014 21:58:14 GMT
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Post by monica on Jun 10, 2014 21:58:14 GMT
You're no fraud! Pni/ PTSD it all started with arrival of baby and related to that so it makes sense to link it. However the most important part is ur getting help.
It's a horrible and cruel illness - and rarely is recovery quick but it will happen. I remember desperately wanting to feel normal and thinking it never would - but it didx
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PNI?
Jun 11, 2014 21:51:59 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 11, 2014 21:51:59 GMT
Okay so tonight I feel like I'm going crazy...
What kind of illness puts you through this mental torture, it takes the thing that you are most scared of, that cannot be prevented and puts obsessive thoughts about it in your head until you think that you will never have another day without those thoughts! And makes them not the kind of thoughts you can share with others as they may well have their own fears..
It makes you feel crazy but the only thing you have been told is you score high for anxiety. Also during this time will give you the most gorgeous easy-going boy but you can't enjoy it as you are either thinking about the terrible thing or knowing that any memories you have are likely to be overshadowed by that...that's all kinds of f***** up.
I'm sorry I just really needed to get that out...
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Post by Weeble on Jun 12, 2014 19:55:24 GMT
Hi
Mental illness is so cruel and painful better times will come. Be kind to yourself if you had broken your leg you would rest. It's no different than a.broken leg.
Kat
Sent from my C6903 using proboards
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PNI?
Jun 24, 2014 11:05:33 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 24, 2014 11:05:33 GMT
Thanks Kat - I hope so, so far the thoughts don't seem to be getting any better however I don't officially start the counselling until July that the GP referred me for.
Debating whether to go back to the GP or not, we had a slight conversation about medication but at the time she said to wait because of the side effects however nothing seems to be improving - perhaps I should wait until I start the counselling though..
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PNI?
Jun 24, 2014 20:25:18 GMT
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Post by kmum on Jun 24, 2014 20:25:18 GMT
Deb
Hi. Mad in the head, fuzzy, confusion, detached are common with post natal depression.
Also I remember being obsessed with wether I had depression or anxiety! Weird you mentioned same. I felt mad in the head most days trying to work it out.
The best thing I did was see a counsellor privately for CBT. Colin teaches at local uni and has written books too. He's literally an expert in psychotherapy and instead of the usual hour every week, I spent hours talking to him! I can't tell you how much he helped! I think he saw me as a project! A case study! Lol. As he has said he has an interest in this type of illness but hadn't had the time usually to see private patients like myself. Every week for months he tried to get me to talk it all out! I mean 'everything'. He used CBT techniques and it felt like my head was sorted for a few days after seeing him. Gradually once my meds kicked in and I got some rest at home, using his techniques I got better.
I'm not /00% and some days now I feel the anxiety symptoms which wears me out and creates the low mood. But I'm worlds apart from how I was in Jan/Feb time.
Please do keep in touch as seems you certainly have come to the right place :-)
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PNI?
Jun 25, 2014 8:29:04 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 25, 2014 8:29:04 GMT
Thank you very much for your kind message, I've phoned the doctor this morning and made an appt to speak to someone about the possibility of medication to tide me over until I have the counselling too. They might think it's not an option but at least I will have tried..
All I can think are these thoughts, no matter how much I push them away so really hoping she can offer me some solution..
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PNI?
Jun 25, 2014 11:47:39 GMT
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Post by monica on Jun 25, 2014 11:47:39 GMT
The thoughts can be all consuming and hard to shift but by no means impossible . They have become so ingrained in your thought patterns they are the norm and you have to relearn how to think without them being there . Cognitive behavioural therapy is very good for this. Do have hope as you will learn to bat them away.
Do u want to talk about the thoughts here? I guarantee ur not alonex
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PNI?
Jun 25, 2014 13:31:23 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 25, 2014 13:31:23 GMT
Hi Monica,
I don't want to bring anyone else down with my thoughts and also they seem different from most peoples but will give an example..
We went on a weekend away with my parents, sister and her fiancé and my husband and LO this weekend - we were sat at a lovely ice cream farm having amazing sundaes - I couldn't enjoy mine as all I could think is that one day none of us would be there to do that. I have thoughts along those lines almost constantly...
I feel guilty that I've brought my LO into the world to go through the same thing..I know the flip side should be to make the most of every moment but I don't know how to do this when I keep having all the horrible thoughts...I've tried to tell myself we go where our loved ones are so to not be so scared but that doesn't seem to work either. Maybe this is just how I'll feel forever now..
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PNI?
Jun 25, 2014 13:48:18 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 25, 2014 13:48:18 GMT
PS I really hope the above post doesn't bother anyone who is feeling anything similar
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PNI?
Jun 25, 2014 13:51:35 GMT
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Post by monica on Jun 25, 2014 13:51:35 GMT
Honestly that's exactly how I was. I could not enjoy anything as every event would be overshadowed by my bleak thoughts.
I promise it won't be like this forever. It's finding techniques that help you get better - for me meds made the hugest difference , but understanding the illness, and learning techniques to combat these thoughts really helped toox
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PNI?
Jun 25, 2014 14:52:56 GMT
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Post by deborahclaire31 on Jun 25, 2014 14:52:56 GMT
Thanks everyone - the doctor has prescribed Sertaline for me, slightly worried about side effects but hopefully the benefits will outweigh them
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PNI?
Jun 25, 2014 16:34:42 GMT
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Post by monica on Jun 25, 2014 16:34:42 GMT
Good luck with the medsx
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