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Post by amers333 on Jul 31, 2014 19:24:17 GMT
I came across this website several months ago, when I was staying in a unit for women with pni. I found the stories very helpful in reassuring me that pni is a temporary illness & that many others have had my symptoms too. At the moment, I've been having a tough few days. I was doing quite good but I seem to have really become intensely fearful again. I just re-read the pni symptoms on this website & surprise, surprise, I do have most of them bar a few. I had just had a talk with my partner yesterday about maybe having a chat with my mental health nurse & psychiatrist from the unit, then when I got home, I find a letter telling me I've been discharged from them! I realise they seem to think I am well, but I know I am still going through pni. I am grateful to them for their help. I stayed in the unit for 3 weeks & was as proactive as possible in pushing myself & trying to positively stabilise my thinking patterns/ intrusive thoughts etc. So now I find myself telling myself that I have to get through this now instead of buckling again under the pressure. It's just the day to day things that really unsettle me. I worry about being left alone in the day at home in case my son gets upset & I can't settle him. I worry about all sorts of things, I'm tired, I'm hungry a lot of the time & just feel generally weary. I've been on citalopram for years anyway due to being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. So I'm now also on mirtazipine. When I was at the unit they said they thought I might not have bipolar disorder but borderline personality disorder instead. Either way, I have never experienced anything quite like this pni. It has been terrifying, debilitating & draining. However, my son is amazing & I love him dearly, he is my reason for being & the love of my life. That's why the pni symptoms are so devastating because they make you question all of that when it's not real. I love my son, my husband & all of my family & friends & I'm so grateful. I just wish that this pni would bugger right off cos I've just about had enough of it. I feel for anyone who is just starting to experience it cos it's so scary. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did, & like a friend who also had it, said to me "Amy, this will be the fight of your life, but it will be so worth it". And she was right because I was so scared to get help initially. She also told me to remember it's not real even though it feels like the intrusive thoughts etc are. I'm glad I came back on here tonight as I feel a tiny bit better & I hope that others do too & get the help they need. Xxx
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Post by monica on Jul 31, 2014 20:54:47 GMT
Hello and welcome to the diary section
I hope writing down ur thoughts and experiences helps you. It sounds as you have suffered dreadfully with this terrible illness. But so pleased things are improving.
Blips are a normal part of the recovery process unfortunately . They can be quite hard to deal with as early on it can feel ur back to square one . Blips can be triggered by pmt, being unwell, tired .... but they do pass.
You mentioned you have been suffering from intrusive thoughts- this is a common and very distressing symptom. Cbt can be very good for combatting these thoughts as it helps to change your thought patterns.
We have a section ' dreaded thoughts' - if ur up to it do have a read - it Will give u hope that u will recover from thisx
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Post by RaspberryBeret on Jul 31, 2014 21:16:01 GMT
Hi Amy, welcome to the diary section. I have found it really helpful over the last 18 months since my son came along and I got poorly with Pni. Everyone is so supportive and gives great advice on how to overcome this horrible illness. I can also relate to experiencing blips. It is so frustrating to feel rubbish again when you feel like you have made so much progress. Don't worry though, it will pass and things will get easier. We are all behind you :-)
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Post by monica on Aug 6, 2014 10:40:57 GMT
Hi Amy
Just wondering how ur doing?
Monica
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Post by quantumrose on Aug 30, 2014 16:43:23 GMT
Hi Amy, how have you been? Xx
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Post by amers333 on Sept 1, 2014 17:55:23 GMT
Hi I've been having a very tough few weeks I definitely think it's because of pmt & illness as well as some stress that's been going on. My anxiety has been through the roof & the intrusive thoughts keep trying to come back! But right at this moment, I'm laid on the bed with My beautiful son asleep next to Me & I feel defiant of the pni & My mental health issues in general. I'm absolutely fed up of it & I'm going to get really proactive in trying out some different therapies & treatments ie holistic ones etc because this is just time that enough is enough! I hope All of You are ok & I will keep updating this as much as I can. It was really good to read the last statement id written  thank you for your kind messages xxx |
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Post by Weeble on Sept 1, 2014 20:24:11 GMT
Go girl recovery is a fight and you definitely sound fired up.
Sent from my C6903 using proboards
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Post by quantumrose on Sept 14, 2014 13:07:17 GMT
Hi Amy, I found massage amazing therapy. To focus on positive, nice feelings is a relief! Some women's centres and charities have reduced rate therapies too. Yoga and meditation are good tools also, although I find it so difficult to make the time to go!! How's things? Xx
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Post by monica on Sept 15, 2014 10:37:44 GMT
How are you? You sound so positive in vesting this illness - that's great and can make a huge difference .
Re holistic therapies anything that helps you relax and heal is brilliant . I had acupuncture for some of my physical symptoms and it helped hugely. Let us know how u get onx
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thank you for your kind messages xxx