Post by nevergiveupmum on Nov 11, 2015 15:12:17 GMT
Hi, I am new to this site. I have a 7yr old daughter and 2 yr old daughter who I love with all my heart. I had PNI after having 1st child which I recovered after approx 2 yrs with help of medication and time. I fully recovered and became pregnant with 2nd 4 yrs later didn't have Any depression or anxiety in pregnancy but horrible sickness all way through which spoilt pregnancy for me! Had 2nd baby Jan13.
After having 2nd I suffered PNI again which seemed to have all same symptoms, took paroxetine which seemed to help and went back to work after mat leave which helped. I would say I was about 90% recovered last year but and reduced meds slowly but have had a massive relapse in Feb this year and just haven't been able to recover from this, it's been a living he'll ever since really. I've been off work
and just recently gone back on a phased return, work have been brilliant with me. However, I've recently switched meds again as I started on Sertraline in Jun which didn't seem to help much, changed to Venlafaxine lowest dose about 6 weeks ago. Didn't really feel any better soho e up to 150mg2 weeks ago and my anxiety shot through the roof and had awful dark thoughts ! It's settling down again now but still feel very low more than before. Beginning to think I shouldn't of switched meds now and maybe sertraline was helping.....
My main symptoms are the horrific intrusive thoughts about harming my beautiful children, dying, anxiety and feeling hopeless likei will ever get better. It makes me feel like such a horrible mother even though I know it's not true, I'm a gentle caring person and have never hurt a fly let alone would ever hurt my own children. The thoughts make me so sad and exhausted I feel like I'd rather not be here than live like this as the thoughts keep telling me I'm horrible,will never get better, etc..and that my children would be safer if I wasn't here to prove how much I love them. I know this is ridiculous but it seems to be a coping mechanism to show how I am not a horrid person..
I see an NHS therapist finally after mths of waiting but don't really get on with her and she only seems interested in action plants to manage my anxiety, eating well..not tackling my intrusive thoughts. I've read every book on intrusive thoughts, depression, ocd but still feel like nothing I do works and that I am a lost cause now even thought remember feeling well and normally mummy before this nightmare.
I see a private therapist via skype who is really helping but she is an OCD therapist but does he with the intrusive thoughts and she had them herself and completely recovered. It's like I completely understand what's wrong with me and whati need to do yet I just cannot stop feeling this distressed or stop the thoughts affecting me.. I just want so e hope and reassurance,if anyone taken venlafaxine and has it helped them.i feel likei am just slipping further into this than before and fighting for survival everydaywiththis illness. If I knew it was going to get better I know that would help. I'm sure it's a lot to do with hormones as never felt like this before it just seems to be after having baby and nothing else I do seems to work which makes me feel untreatable. My husband and mum are great support and constantly telling me I will recover but it's like I just can't see it now..
After having 2nd I suffered PNI again which seemed to have all same symptoms, took paroxetine which seemed to help and went back to work after mat leave which helped. I would say I was about 90% recovered last year but and reduced meds slowly but have had a massive relapse in Feb this year and just haven't been able to recover from this, it's been a living he'll ever since really. I've been off work
and just recently gone back on a phased return, work have been brilliant with me. However, I've recently switched meds again as I started on Sertraline in Jun which didn't seem to help much, changed to Venlafaxine lowest dose about 6 weeks ago. Didn't really feel any better soho e up to 150mg2 weeks ago and my anxiety shot through the roof and had awful dark thoughts ! It's settling down again now but still feel very low more than before. Beginning to think I shouldn't of switched meds now and maybe sertraline was helping.....
My main symptoms are the horrific intrusive thoughts about harming my beautiful children, dying, anxiety and feeling hopeless likei will ever get better. It makes me feel like such a horrible mother even though I know it's not true, I'm a gentle caring person and have never hurt a fly let alone would ever hurt my own children. The thoughts make me so sad and exhausted I feel like I'd rather not be here than live like this as the thoughts keep telling me I'm horrible,will never get better, etc..and that my children would be safer if I wasn't here to prove how much I love them. I know this is ridiculous but it seems to be a coping mechanism to show how I am not a horrid person..
I see an NHS therapist finally after mths of waiting but don't really get on with her and she only seems interested in action plants to manage my anxiety, eating well..not tackling my intrusive thoughts. I've read every book on intrusive thoughts, depression, ocd but still feel like nothing I do works and that I am a lost cause now even thought remember feeling well and normally mummy before this nightmare.
I see a private therapist via skype who is really helping but she is an OCD therapist but does he with the intrusive thoughts and she had them herself and completely recovered. It's like I completely understand what's wrong with me and whati need to do yet I just cannot stop feeling this distressed or stop the thoughts affecting me.. I just want so e hope and reassurance,if anyone taken venlafaxine and has it helped them.i feel likei am just slipping further into this than before and fighting for survival everydaywiththis illness. If I knew it was going to get better I know that would help. I'm sure it's a lot to do with hormones as never felt like this before it just seems to be after having baby and nothing else I do seems to work which makes me feel untreatable. My husband and mum are great support and constantly telling me I will recover but it's like I just can't see it now..
