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Post by monica on Apr 1, 2017 9:08:29 GMT
How are you today? X
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 1, 2017 12:11:56 GMT
Not too bad thanks! In wales for a cheer competition so quite distracted but thoughts enter my mind every now and then! Just find it so frustrating x how are you? X
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Post by monica on Apr 2, 2017 14:11:24 GMT
How did yesterday go? I hope you really enjoyed yourself. Yes the thoughts are so frustrating for you - they will go! Enjoy the sunshine x
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 2, 2017 17:18:55 GMT
It went well thank you! Our cheer team came
1st, 2nd twice and 3rd in the various competitions so it was awesome! Just having thoughts and also feeling bit anxious today but otherwise good. Xx
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Post by monica on Apr 6, 2017 13:30:03 GMT
So sorry ...I thought I'd replied to this post. So glad you had a good day out and that your team did so well.
How have you been since? X
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Post by monica on Apr 7, 2017 13:31:54 GMT
How are you Kirdty? Did you get to your group this week? When do you go back to work?i really hope you got the location you wanted x
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 8, 2017 20:16:24 GMT
I'm just feeling well I'm not sure. It's been a tough weekend so far and I just feel sadness hanging over me all the time. Even when we are out and about it's like it's always there. It's not that I don't enjoy anything at all but it's just like a feeling that's always there of sadness. I can't explain it very well. The psychiatrist put me on another medication as well as sertraline. My mum came with me and she mentioned my weight to him and said she sees it as a form of self harm as it's like I'm always putting on weight and can't stop eating. I feel I should just not eat in front of people now. I stayed in today and just kept thinking when is this going to change? Will it change? How could it possibly get better now? I feel so overwhelmed about being a mum today and just feel like iv made a huge mistake. I can't shake it off. All I want to do is sleep. That's not normal is it? My nan made a comment yesterday about me always sleeping and said I'm really lazy. I felt shit because iv always been so hardworking and worked so many hours and now I feel like a lazy fat ugly cow. What the f**k has happened to me? When I see glimpses of the old me it's so slight that it feels like I'm never coming back!!!! I really don't want to feel like this forever. I just want to be happy and not think about depression and anxiety and wether or not I'm a peadophile. I just want to lead a normal life. It's never going to be normal though is it. I'm so messed up. I'm sick of constantly analysing my thoughts feelings actions! Sick of it! I can't do this anymore iv had enough! A woman was saying today she has suffered for 6 1/2 years with pnd and she has just accepted that that's her life now!!! I CANT LIVE LIKE THAT!!!!! Oh someone help me! I'm done
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Post by monica on Apr 8, 2017 20:43:25 GMT
Hi
I will write a longer reply tomorrow as I have to go to bed now.
I'm so sorry you're struggling this weekend in particular. You don't deserve it particularly as you're such a fantastic lady.
This is such a cruel illness on so many fronts but please don't give up. There are always options. I would say maybe you need some sort of talking therapy that's right for you. It sounds like the cbt you had before wasn't - maybe if you found something/someone that helped it would really kick start your recovery.
Even though you're not recovered you have actually come along way - don't underestimate thatx
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 9, 2017 13:45:55 GMT
Feeling a little better today! Alan has taken Sophia out for the day so I can just rest. Have started taking new meds and side effect can be headaches which I have had for 2 days now just need to see it through. I know I have come a long way I just can't help but feel this is me recovered and this is it for me now. Just feels like a constant sadness is following me all the time! Just can't imagine not having it there and can't remember what it's like to feel "normal" just feel so done with this! X
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Post by monica on Apr 10, 2017 12:57:00 GMT
Glad you had a better day. I'm sure this isn't it in terms of recovery - you've hit a wall and hopefully the additional meds will give you that boost x
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Post by monica on Apr 12, 2017 10:29:12 GMT
How's it going K? I hope you got some rest with baby. I used to but these homeopathic camomile tiny balls (can't think of the word) and they helped - I think they were camillosan or something similar. How are you in yourself? X
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 12, 2017 14:00:21 GMT
Thanks for that Monica, had a rubbish night. Resting now as Alan has taken Sophia out for a bit. I'm
Not feeling too bad, a little anxious and a little down but not as bad as it has been. We have had the house valued today and should be on the market in 1-2 weeks. We are also looking into fostering. I go back to work next week and I start college. It's all go go go xx how are you? Xx
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Post by monica on Apr 13, 2017 7:45:22 GMT
I hope last night was better for you all.
Wow that is a lot on. Where are you moving to? Good luck with work - I'm sure it'll go well and you might find that will also kick start your recovery as you'll be busy and distracted x
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 13, 2017 14:20:48 GMT
I'm hoping so! Don't know where we are moving too yet! House goes on the market in the next week. We have gone with cubit and west and they seem pretty sure we can sell and be moved within 4 months. X
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Post by monica on Apr 17, 2017 21:19:46 GMT
How's the house hunting going? How has Easter been? Good luck with work - sure it'll go well for youx
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