Post by latesha on Apr 11, 2016 17:59:44 GMT
Hi my name is latesha
I'm so confused and scared by everything I'm feeling right now..
I've been diagnosed with pnd about 2 months ago
My first son is coming up to 3 months now
I had the worst pregnancy - I had hyperemesis - persistent vomiting everyday from 6 weeks onwards and I even threw up in labour
Anyway now I'm here, depressed and I don't know how to get out of it..
I've been trying everything.. eating healthy, exercise etc until I got to such a low point I tried to take a drugs overdose..
Since then Ive been taking anti depressants and everytime i think i'm feeling better "I'm getting better" I return to this negative place and it's f**ked up..
I've had thoughts of harming myself and most recently my baby and I feel I am a danger to him right now
I get support from my mum she is between houses at the family home where I live and her boyfriends house and she works full time so she helps out when she can and though I live with my partner at my family home he also works full time in a stressful job so he can only help out a little. My younger sister helps out by watching him sometimes and washing bottles too but it's pretty much down to me to get on with it and I don't have the strength right now
I lost about 4 inches of hair and my teeth started crumbling towards the end of the pregnancy from all the vomiting and I was in and out of hospital the whole time but my baby is healthy and bottle fed, growing fine
I just feel so disconnected from him and the woman I used to be
I don't know why I'm writing but I've reached out to all the services I can and I'm trying to be honest about my feelings everyday but it's a lot for everyone around me and I feel selfish having to focus on myself right now when my baby needs me to look after him..
I feel like I don't like him, he is the reason I'm in this place, he made me sick for so long and he's made this shell..
I hate to talk about him like this but it's how I feel and I want to run away, I don't like my partner, my son, myself, my body, my life and I don't know what to do..
I used to want to just know there was a way out but I don't even care anymore I feel numb..
Thanks for listening
I'm so confused and scared by everything I'm feeling right now..
I've been diagnosed with pnd about 2 months ago
My first son is coming up to 3 months now
I had the worst pregnancy - I had hyperemesis - persistent vomiting everyday from 6 weeks onwards and I even threw up in labour
Anyway now I'm here, depressed and I don't know how to get out of it..
I've been trying everything.. eating healthy, exercise etc until I got to such a low point I tried to take a drugs overdose..
Since then Ive been taking anti depressants and everytime i think i'm feeling better "I'm getting better" I return to this negative place and it's f**ked up..
I've had thoughts of harming myself and most recently my baby and I feel I am a danger to him right now
I get support from my mum she is between houses at the family home where I live and her boyfriends house and she works full time so she helps out when she can and though I live with my partner at my family home he also works full time in a stressful job so he can only help out a little. My younger sister helps out by watching him sometimes and washing bottles too but it's pretty much down to me to get on with it and I don't have the strength right now
I lost about 4 inches of hair and my teeth started crumbling towards the end of the pregnancy from all the vomiting and I was in and out of hospital the whole time but my baby is healthy and bottle fed, growing fine
I just feel so disconnected from him and the woman I used to be
I don't know why I'm writing but I've reached out to all the services I can and I'm trying to be honest about my feelings everyday but it's a lot for everyone around me and I feel selfish having to focus on myself right now when my baby needs me to look after him..
I feel like I don't like him, he is the reason I'm in this place, he made me sick for so long and he's made this shell..
I hate to talk about him like this but it's how I feel and I want to run away, I don't like my partner, my son, myself, my body, my life and I don't know what to do..
I used to want to just know there was a way out but I don't even care anymore I feel numb..
Thanks for listening