Can it last this long?

[Notgoodenough]

I came across this site via a bbc news story because something in there sounded familiar. And when i looked at the pni symptom lust i have over half...

But... My second and last child was born 8 years. Can i still have pni? I have a history of mental illness dating back to 1998 and probably before. I have suffered anxiety attacks since 1994 and still do. I tried to kill myself after a series ofvevents that started when my dad died whilst i was preganant and ended with me lising my house nearly two years later after my ex husband had left.

So it's not been easy. My first labour was horrific and my second much better. So i don't why i still have these thoughts and feelings. Is it pni? Am i a bad person?

[monica]

Welcome to the site

I'm sorry you've been struggling with difficult symptoms for so long . Whether the medical profession would label this as PNI after such a time I don't know, however from what you've said having children has exacerbated symptoms maybe even introduced new symptoms which have continued.

No! You're not a bad person. Symptoms can last a long time especially without support and treatment. What symptoms are you suffering from? What help have you been getting, if any.

Please do keep talking. You'll find you're not alone here x

[Notgoodenough]

Thanks monica. I suffer with:

Panic attacks and anxiety (i have diazepam for this which i only take as needed)
Constant tiredness, irritability and anger
Thoughts about sexual abuse of my son and fear that my husband may sexually abuse my daughter (i know i an being irrational and i love both my children dearly and trust my husband completely)
Worryingly constantly that something bad might hapoen to me or my family
Fear of my husband being ill
Ocd symptoms
Low self esteem (very low and very insecure)
Feelings of wanting to run away
Feelings that i am not good enough (i'm overweight and have struggled with that for so long)
Misuse of alcohol to self medicate
Hiding how i feel (i'm ashamed and feel like i should be coping)
Unable to sleep without wine but not sleeping very well anyway
Feeling ovewhelmingly tired and hopeless a lot of the time

[monica]

Big hugs - those are horrible symptoms and yes all are associated with PNI.

Have you spoken to anyone about this? Other than the meds for anxiety have you taken any other meds? Any talking therapies ?

Monica

[monica]

You sound like a wonderful lady who is struggling with these debilitating symptoms. The intrusive thoughts like sexually abusing your child (mine were about illnesses and dying) - someone described them as the protective instinct going into overdrive when you see harm coming from even yourself. Please have hope - with the right support and symptom management recovery really is achievable x