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Post by stevensmummy on Feb 1, 2008 16:04:22 GMT
Girls help!
My youngest 7m wants to be constantly attached to my tit. He wakes thro the night wanting fed, about 3 times. So last night I left him to scream. Did the whole controlled crying thing. Only lasted 40 mins.
Was that cruel?
I dont really agree with it and all else has failed so i didnt know what to do. I'm afraid incase he turns out a right little mummys boy.
Did anyone ever see that extreme breast feedin programme? the kids were about 6 or 7 and still feeding. I have this image of them running home from school and up and under their mums top while walking home. I just worry I cant get him off it. i'll never be that bad but I just keep picturing that programme and think oh god he has to stop!
Am I insane lol?
Sarah xxx
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Post by rachelk on Feb 1, 2008 18:00:18 GMT
Hi,
I did this with my first when he was 7 months. I was starting back at work and thought i would never function on the sleep i was having.It took 3 nights of screaming ...and me crying in other room...but never looked back.Wish i'd done it sooner. He is now four and a half and it hasn't affected him at all. He is a joy (most of the time!).
We are much less soft with second son (5 months) as we learnt a lot of lessons from what we did first time. It has helped as he has slepth through - 6pm till 7am - since 12 weeks!
Go for it, you are not cruel. It will be gentler in the long run.
Rachel.
x
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Post by winegirl on Feb 1, 2008 19:50:51 GMT
Hi Hun
I just wanted to say that in my opinion controlled crying is a very hard thing to do, but well worth it in the long run. With my LO I had 5 mins out of her room (with her screaming) and then would have 2 mins of laying her back down and stroking her before walking out and having another 5 mins of screaming and so on. The first night it took an hour and half, the next a little less and so on. After just over a week we had cracked it and ever since she has happliy gone to bed alone at night and sleeps through.
It is awful to hear them so hysterical, but if you keep going back to them every 5 mins and staying with them for 2 mins (without picking them out of the cot or saying anything more than ssshhhh), it makes it a bit more bearable on both of you.
I am not saying it works for everyone, but definately did for me!
WG x
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Post by stevensmummy on Feb 3, 2008 0:12:54 GMT
Cheers girls.
I didnt find it at all helpful in my older son, hes now nearly 3 but when they are this young maybe it does help. It seemed to. Last nite he cried and I went to him, gave him a drink of water and shhh shhs etc and left him. He gried a few times then off to sleep. The same later on then at 5.30 I fed him. So that was from 8 till 5.30 with 2 relatively stressless wakes. So i reckon it cant be all bad.
I may have to eat my words on this one lol.
But yep its hard to hear them scream. I didnt cry but as you say rachel its easier 2nd time round you arent near so soft. I learned alot too lol.
Let you know how it goes. Keep them crossed for me
xx
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Post by rachelk on Feb 3, 2008 8:18:08 GMT
It is so hard, but I remember at around 7 months my first son starting to 'play up' a bit i.e. wanting me and not his dad etc. and it was then that I thought I better try and stop giving him everything he wanted. Don't get me wrong, I am the softest person I know, but it was getting silly. I would sit by his cot for hours, fall asleep on floor etc till he went to sleep then as soon as I got up to leave he would scream. There was no way I could go back to work on no sleep, it would have been dangerous.
I think 7-8 months is a good time to do it.
One think I do know is that people tell you to try these things, but you can only do it when YOU feel ready..or it wont work.
Take care and good luck - you will crack it soon.
Rachel
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Post by stevensmummy on Feb 3, 2008 15:49:49 GMT
hey girls,
Well progress. last nite the lads had a night out so they came back pissed and made lots of noise. So to save waking the other one I fed him and he dropped right off. So prob wrecked it now.
How long does it go on for?
Do I extend the time beyond 5 mins?
xx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 3, 2008 20:55:49 GMT
No, 5 mins is long enough. Just dont speak to him or pick him up when you go in to him. It can go on for hours the first night but eventually they start to realise that you are not going to be getting them up and thats that. Took 2 weeks to crack with my LO but soooo pleased I did it. She goes down at 8pm now and wakes up at 7am. On the odd night that she wakes up crying with teething or whatever if we just leave her for a mins and dont go into her she gets herself back off to sleep!
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Post by stevensmummy on Feb 3, 2008 21:44:51 GMT
Right ok. Cheers hun.
Update u 2moro with 2nites results
xxx
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Post by rachelk on Feb 4, 2008 11:54:40 GMT
It will work. I was a bit harsher than WG with my first. We found controlled crying (i.e. going in every 5 mins) wasn't working at all as he was just getting more and more upset. So we bit the bullet and made sure he was fed, safe, warm etc. and then just left him...full stop. Arrgghh.
It took 3 nights. First night he screamed for hours and hours - probably about 5, second night much less then third night hardly anything. After that, no probs at all.
I would try WG's idea and then if still not working after 2 weeks, maybe see if you have the strength to be a bit harsher.
Good luck.
Rachel
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Post by Scarlet on Feb 4, 2008 15:44:03 GMT
How did it go Sarah hun?
xxxx
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Post by stevensmummy on Feb 4, 2008 19:58:35 GMT
God Rachel you are brave. I'm not sure I could cope leaving him hysterical for that long.
It went well. We watched a dvd downstairs last nite and I fell asleep, as did my OH. I woke at 1am to stuart crying. I thought oh shit how long has he been doing that. (I dont use a monitor unless we have ppl in as i leave the doors open otherwise) So by the time I got upstairs he was starting to simmer out a bit. So I decided to have a pee and wait a sec. Once I'd finnished he was only whimpering. So I went into nxt room and sat a minute and he stopped. I didnt go in yet. He only then woke at 5.45 as normal and I fed him and he went back to sleep till 8.30.
So I reckon it worked. Having said that I wont count my chickens just yet. Hes maybe pulling a fast one and will be a little shit again in a week lol
Cheers for the advice tho girls xx
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Post by stevensmummy on Feb 5, 2008 20:37:26 GMT
Hi guys,
Talked too soon!
He was pretty bad last night he cried for about 45 mins. I think coz I was so knackered I noticed it more tho. hes also maybe a bit sore with the bum thing.
Do they try like a last ditch attempt to get you to come over?
xxx
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Post by rachelk on Feb 9, 2008 14:44:19 GMT
Believe me - I am not brave. I am the softest person ever I think by 7 months of up god knows how many times a night (I counted 36 once!), I had just had enough.
You will find that there will be good days and bad days, but that he will generally be easier i.e. will not cry for as long each time. When they go through phases i.e. into bed from cot, potty training at night etc. it will go back to being hard, but once you have done the controlled crying bit and realise you can leave them (once you know they are fed/warm/safe) you will get over each phase quicker each time.
My son had blips at each of these i.e. when we moved him to a bed, when he realised he could say 'I need a wee' 50 times a night! But I just try and be as brave as poss and don't let him play me up.
Just keep with it and it will improve, and well done for getting this far.
Rachx
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Post by stevensmummy on Feb 9, 2008 22:47:00 GMT
Cheers hun, I'm gettin there. 2nite I just put him in bed and he feel asleep on his on. usually he falls asleep after his feed in my arms i then put him in bed. It was great just putting him upstairs, not even a peep out of him. Long may it continue!
xx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 10, 2008 21:14:18 GMT
Oooh thats great Sarah! Hope he does the same for you tonight babes!!
WG x
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