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Post by natalie on Jun 28, 2005 19:56:44 GMT
Visited here before, but never managed to post anything. Has anyone else had Puerperal Psychosis?? It does feel as though I am the only on whatever board I go to. Thankfully its very rare, but it would be nice to know that I am not totally alone adn to share some off the odd hillusinations etc... I am recovered, had counselling the lot, my daughters 20 months and we are planning another!!! Now that is mad Would really like to hear from anyone, Take care Natalie
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Post by Veritee on Jun 28, 2005 20:45:25 GMT
Dear Natalie
I think the reason you do not find that others relate to you is because of the labels we are given when we have PNI and not necessarily that we do not relate to what you went through.
I was never even diagnosed at all with PNI of any kind - I tried to tell my GP I had PNI but he actually did not believe me so my only treatment was private counseling.
But I know I did have PNI and probably the same as you were labeled as suffering ie Puerperal Psychosis because I certainly experienced more than a passing hallucination.
my first symptoms when I was back in my hospital room after the Cesarean was that the nurse shut the door and I started to hear voices - I panicked and called her back in and I will never forget the ignorance of her answer, she said- 'Don't be silly, you're just tired, go back in and get your head down'!
So consequently I my illness was not detected, I spend many horrific hours in that room alone ( I was in hospital 10 days as I was quite ill ) hearing voices and too scared to call anyone in case they told me no to be silly.
I then went home and even though I had massive panic attacks, the occasional voices and seeing things out of the corner of my eye and a few other hallucinations I went into denial that their was anything wrong for about 10 months and even then was never diagnosed.
It was me that labeled myself as having Post Natal illness as I read up on it and could not relate what I was experiencing with what in the UK was called Post Natal Depression - so as the Association of Post Natal Illness called it PNI I though that was a great term that covered most of what I was going through at the time.
I suffered the hallucination stage pretty much on my own with no help and after about 11 months my PNI changed from the odd hallucination to horrible and bazaar thoughts.
So While I was never diagnosed as having PP I am sure I did and I know that many women have been in this position too.
If you read through current posts there are others who experience hallucinations or visions or chanting audio thoughts or voices - we just were never diagnosed as having PP and in my opinion this is because unless our behavior gets really bazaar or we have a partner friend etc who cares enough to do soemhting about it
( my behavour did indeed go over the top for a while but because I live up an un surficed lane in the middle of nowhere and my husband was away at sea for most of the time I was suffering the PP symptoms - no one cottoned on)
we hide it because we are scared that if anyone knows we are suffering from voices etc - they will lock us away and take away our children!
I know now that this is not so - but unfortunately at the time I was not 'thinking straight' as many are not when they have these terrible symptoms It was not surprising I could not think logically as because of course when you are having strange thoughts about the world coming to the end due to the environment or that it actually has and you are dead and at the same s time you are hearing things now and then - you are not capable of thinking straight!
( this was how my really bazaar thinking went - the world had ended and sometimes that even I was dead - as I have said on here before I woke up one morning after a Storm really thinking the world had ended and me and my baby were the only ones left, I had to go to a meeting in which I was allowed to take my baby and even though I was surrounded with people I thought they were all dead and actually said something in the meeting like 'I woke up this morning and the world had ended- or I thought it had ended' another time I said in all seriosness 'I woke up dead' again no one cottoned on - I think they thought I meant I woke up tired?
and no one took any notice, I think they thought I was making a joke or I meant because the storm was so bad - but I really did think that the world had ended.!
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that while many of us were not diagnosed with PP, some of us have experienced the hallucinations you speak of and some of us still do.
I do not know why not more women actually diagnosed and treated with PP do not come on here - perhaps if their treatment is successful ( I was never treated and others are treated for depression and not psychosis) and the support networks provided after you leave hospital are enough - perhaps you have less need of an Internet support group.
But what I am trying to say is I think you have come to the right place - and I think we have to bare in mind that just because you do not tell anyone , not even on here , does not mean you have not experienced hallucinations etc
All the best
veritee
PS and welcome to the forum
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Post by Vikki not logged on Jun 28, 2005 21:20:48 GMT
Hi Natalie
Welcome to the Forum.
I have been suffering with Severe PNI for nealty 18 months now, and I am suffering with hallucinations at present.
Like Veritee I was too scared to tell anyone, but am now thankfully getting help.
I do not have puerpal Psychosis, but I know what you mean.
I hope you can get the support you need from this forum, and when you decide to have have another baby, there will be lots of helpful women ready to support you throughout.
My best wishes
Vikki xx
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Post by Natalie on Jun 29, 2005 10:32:25 GMT
Thankyou ladies,
When I have a chance I will post my experience, it can take a while though.
Take care
Natalie
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Post by Natalie on Jun 29, 2005 12:42:56 GMT
Do you have any info about ZINK or Progeteron and how these can help with PP or PNI??
Thanks - Natalie
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Post by Veritee on Jun 29, 2005 17:40:37 GMT
Hi Natalie If you mean Progesterone, yes I know a little about it as I used cyclogest pesseries towards the end of my PNI having read about this treatment in a book by Katharina Dalton ie Depression After Childbirth Katharina Dalton. isbn: 0-19-263277-9. I am sure your library can get it. and later I used progesterone cream for menopause. If you want to read what I know so far it is in this post: veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=meds&action=modifypost&thread=1116848443&post=1116848443- it is not much but in fact their is not much known really as Katharina Dalton was the only Doctor to propose its use and do some research on it. No leading 'expert' on PNI supports it today - not necessarily because it is no good - but as the research has never been done in to hormones and PNI. But actually no one has ever done any real research into the use and effectiveness of Anti Ds and PNI either. All I can say is it did help me - not in the really acute stage but when my PNI was tailing off and becoming focused more as PMS so I was symptom free most of the time except the week before a period. In fact the main thing it is prescribed for these days is PMT and Menopause. You can get it either on prescription as Cyclogest pesseries or as a cream ( although with a cream you have to experiment with the dosage for you) from Simone Plaut on 020 7794 0709 - who is the supplier endorsed by the Associaltion of post natal illness or from heath food stores over the counter or on the internet see biovea.net/product_detail.asp?PID=322&CID=0However you can also try wild yam cream - wild yam is a precursor to progesterone see: biovea.net/product_detail.asp?PID=183&CID=0I am not endorsing any of these products, just saving you the bother of looking things up as I have done this already! All the best Veritee PS I do not know anything about Zinc - but I guess the therory is because it has a role in the immune system and this can be badly affected when you have PNI it may help as a suplimentory aid - but I can nto see what it would do specifically for PNI? see: www.vegsoc.org/info/zinc.html
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Post by Natalie on Jun 29, 2005 18:55:34 GMT
Thankyou Veritee, you have a wealth of knowledge and are great to share it with everyone.
Natalie
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rach
Full member
Posts: 145
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Post by rach on Jul 1, 2005 21:10:22 GMT
hi natalie
it must be frustrating for you if there are no message boards with anyone who has suffered pp i realise that pp is a very serious condition and is a extreme version of pni or at least that is my understanding, i would be interested in reading your thread when you post it, and would like to suggest that you maybe set up your own thread about your experiance so that if anyone else is suffering and has found like you a lack of info or experiances of pp at least it will be there, i dont mean to speak out of line and realise you may not want to but just thought it may be a good idea.
please take care love rach
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rach
Full member
Posts: 145
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Post by rach on Jul 2, 2005 19:53:04 GMT
hi natalie
sorry i disapeared last night but heres the info for the book
"eyes without sparkle" - a journey through postnatal illness
Elaine A. Hanzak
printed by Radcliffe Medical Press
paperback Jan 17 2005
has a full rating review
price on amazon.co.uk £16.95 new or from £11.85 used
i hope this helps
although the title advises postnatal illness she did advise it was pp she had when interviewed
hugs rach
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Post by yorkslass on Jul 2, 2005 20:16:26 GMT
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Post by Natalie on Jul 3, 2005 10:33:02 GMT
Thanks ladies. I have ordered a copy and also I managed to find a radio interview on the net. I did post up a bit about my experience the other day, but it doesnt seem to have appeared, so I will try again later.
Take care
Natalie
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Post by Veritee on Jul 3, 2005 11:47:32 GMT
Hi Natalie
Can you post a link to the radio interview.
Elaine actually e mailed me to say she had done one - but I could not find it on the net an she did not know if it had been posted.
So can you put it her so we can listen to it?
Thanks
I hope you are OK today - at what stage in your illness are you at present?
I hope you don't mind me asking - but do you still get PP symptoms, or have they gone now and you have the anxiety etc that many get on here? or are you completely recovered. Do you take medication ie Anti Ds and or Anti Psychotics ?
I am interested partly because I would like to chat to you about it and offer support
and also because I am interested in PP the course of the illness as it is commonly experienced,
ie whether it develops later ( after the acute Psychosis is over) into the sort of PNI which most of us suffer or indeed begins like that - as it did for Elaine H who wrote the book above - and develops later into PP
and indeed whether some of us who did ( like myself) have periods of muddled/crazy thinking , visions and auditory hallucinations
were in fact suffering PP for at least part of our illness - but were never diagnosed.
or if in fact some psychotic- like symptoms such as hallucinations, out of reality thoughts and bazaar conversations and actions are actually for some part of what is normally known as PND/PNI
I have been gathering information on all this for years - in order to better understand and support others with PNI of all kinds
But I have rarely spoken to anyone diagnosed with PP.
But do not worry if you do not want to answer my questions or do not want to 'go there' for now
I will not be offended or anything .
but if there is anything I or the forum in general can do to help you - please let us know
All the best
vertiee
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Post by Natalie on Jul 3, 2005 21:43:06 GMT
Thanks for that Veritee. I shall look back and see if I can find the link regarding the interview with Elaine Hanzak. I would also be most grateful if you could pass on an email (PM) for her if you have one and are able to do that, otherwise I understand.
My PP was very different to hers, came on within hours and was totally fruit loop by the 5th day after deliverey. Very briefly I had a week in an acute mental hospital - a femal ward, no other new mums. 5 weeks in a mixed psychiatric unit- still undiagnosed and placed on shut you up drugs - if they hadnt given me stuff to slow me down, I probably would have had a heartattack.
And then only because my husband faught, was seen by the specialist at our local Mother and Baby unit where I was told I was suffering Puerperal Psychosis, was admitted and reunited with my daughter, who I had only been able to see twice while in the other institution as the other patients could have proved a danger to her.
I was then closley monitored, given anti psychotics, then after they had worked they bought me too far down so I had anti depressants and when my daughter was 5 months old we came home.
I then suffered terrible anxiety, lack of confidence and motivation etc, the syptoms described with PNI. When my daughter turned 1 I was off all meds so started councelling. Which I finished a month or so back.
Incidentally I returned to work 2 months after being discharged as it seemed the best way to get back to 'me'. I also came off the pill at the start of this year and that has helped immencly.
I do have the occasional problem with anxiety still, which I never experienced before having the baby. I know how to deal with it now though, so its not too big a problem.
We are now planning for another child and although I still deal with the memories of that horrendous time, I dont have nightmares anymore and can look forward to the next time around!
That is the very short version of events, but I also do plan to 'write a book' eventually!!
When I get a chance I will post some more on here
Take care - Natalie
PS - I was lucky in the fact that my PP made me want to 'Save the world' and that included me, my baby and family, so none of us were ever harmed.
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Post by Natalie on Jul 3, 2005 21:47:22 GMT
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Post by yorkslass on Jul 3, 2005 22:41:25 GMT
Thanks for the link
We apereciate it
Melx
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