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Post by cheshire on Sept 22, 2005 22:01:28 GMT
Hi Vikki
I don't know what to say other than I am thinking of you and supporting you.
I hope this helps in a small way,
Hopefulx
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Vikki
Senior Member
E-mail Support Provider
Mum to 3 children aged 8,7 and 4. Suffered with Psychotic PNI, now thnkfully recovered.
Posts: 313
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Post by Vikki on Sept 25, 2005 15:23:11 GMT
I had a visit from the home treatment team yesterday, and they seemed to contradict everything that they had told me the day before. It looks like I will not be getting any help with childcare now and I will instead be sent on a parenting course.
As if I didn't feel inadeqete enough, they are now telling me to my face what a bad mother I am.
Why did I want them involved again, they didnt do anything to help me before, so what has changed now?
I have to juggle getting kids to school, getting new tyre for car and trying to book it in for a MOT tomorrow, I just don't need this, the weekend has gone so fast, and I have got nothing done that needed to be done.
I just need some time with no responsibility, no kids, no worries, just time to be myself without any stress.
But that's not very likely, I have to look after the children and do all these jobs, if I don't do it it then who is going to?
Sometimes I think if i just stopped doing everything then people would be forced to listen to me, but then they would hate me for ruining their lives. I can't win.
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Post by bam02 on Sept 25, 2005 16:39:17 GMT
I too have been struggling for childcare. Getting promises and then them failling me. I am in a Surestart area and I hoped it would help. But not really -unless you pay the Nursery rate. It must be so hard with offers of help then being dropped. I understand that. I have stopped building my hopes up. I do have my hubby -but he thinks I can be an all round housewife and mother like in the 1950's and it doesn't help. But he is here and that jmeans I seem low priority - but as others whoi seem to need it more can't get either. i don't expect it.
I know what you mean about running away or stopped doing things. I feel sometimes I should leave and let people realise what I do do and how I need help.
Sorry this is supposed to be for you. Just agreeing about Surestart really.
Bye for now
A-M
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Post by cheshire on Sept 26, 2005 8:45:30 GMT
Dear Vikki,
Hope you're getting through today ok.
When I read what you wrote above -
Sometimes I think if i just stopped doing everything then people would be forced to listen to me, but then they would hate me for ruining their lives. I can't win.
- I could really identify with it. It feels sometimes like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard thing ..I want to walk away sometimes but I can't ....
Just hoping you're having an ok day despite all that you have to do.
Thinking of you Hopefulx
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Vikki
Senior Member
E-mail Support Provider
Mum to 3 children aged 8,7 and 4. Suffered with Psychotic PNI, now thnkfully recovered.
Posts: 313
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Post by Vikki on Sept 27, 2005 18:24:05 GMT
I think I'm feeling better!!
Hoorah.
I'm not going to count my chickens just yet as this has happened before then all come crashing down around my ears.
But, that said, I havnt cried for 2 days, and things have been easier the past 2 days too.
I had a joint visit from the home treatment team and my keyworker today, I was a bit worried about it, but I think it was helpful. They did say that they might consider taking my car keys away from me, but I need my car to get the kids to school etc, I think they could see I was feeling better so they didnt thank goodness.
The main talking point was that I put unreasonable expectations on myself as a mother, and I need to chill out and realise that being an ok mum is ok. I dont know if I will ever be happy with being an ok mum, butI'm going to try anyway.
The other point they raised was that surestart dont work in my area, thats why they cant offer me childcare, but they are going to contact social services and see if they can do anything. I take back anything negative I said.
So all in all, today has been positive.
Let there be more days like these.
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Post by cheshire on Sept 27, 2005 20:05:23 GMT
Hi Vikki
Glad you're feeling better and that you're having a good day. Will take this thought away with me (that you said above):
''being an ok mum is ok''
Thanks for that. How many times has that been said to me, but I'll take it from a fellow sufferer!
THAT is what I need to work on. It is actually impossible to be supermum hey?
Love, Hopefulxx
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Vikki
Senior Member
E-mail Support Provider
Mum to 3 children aged 8,7 and 4. Suffered with Psychotic PNI, now thnkfully recovered.
Posts: 313
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Post by Vikki on Oct 13, 2005 15:11:33 GMT
I have been discharged from the home treatment team now, as I am deemed no longer a risk to myself. That has got to be a cause for celebration if ever I heard one.
I have been a bit wobbly today, but all in all, no way as bad as i have been.
Things are looking good!!
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Post by bam02 on Oct 13, 2005 15:39:32 GMT
Hiya Vikki,
Being discharged is good! But when I lost my cpn-I lost a lot of support. I hope that is not the case with you!
I hope you are truely feeling better and able to cope.
Love
A-M
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Post by cheshire on Oct 13, 2005 17:30:50 GMT
Vikki, that is great
Love Hopefulxx
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