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Post by Scarlet on Jun 16, 2007 9:29:55 GMT
Jay two days a week working is amazing. You should be so proud of yourself, you are recovering hun and I guess like the rest of us, we are a bit fragile at times and you have had your fair share of stress this week which has made you more vulnerable to a blip or two. However you managed to make a shepherds pie girl , (and iron and shop at Tescos!) now that's something, so you are getting a wee bit stronger each day, although it's not always noticeable. Remember two steps forward one back (or was it three). Sorry to hear about the nasty comment regarding your weight and this made you stop swimming. I tell you some folks can be so insensitive, and this coming from a counsellor! Not panicking so often is great, soon you will be having longer amounts of time in between and the blips won't be so intense, plus you have managed to sleep without pills. You are doing great hun, honestly you are... Hugs Scarlet X
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Post by Jay on Jun 17, 2007 18:18:55 GMT
Hi Scaret & all, Thank you so much for your posts. I must admit I am not at my best at the moment. I don't think I have felt as low as this in a very long time. My big dose of antid's is not working, so I figure this is a must to talk about at my next apt in about 10 days time. But unless they can top my present ones up first, I can't see how I will cut these down before a change. This for me is very scary!!! I have managed to panic while out this morning with OH. We were doing a quick pop to a couple of shops then I wanted a nice walk along the river. Well the pop into one of the shops freeked me out and upset me, so that was the end of us being out, we had to go home. I have not long panicked and got all wobbly, and could not cope with cooking our meal, so had to decide on wine or diazepam, and as I had to drive it was diazepam!! Sh*t!!!! These sessions make me feel so stupid and useless. OH says I can't help it, but It still makes me feel bad, and I feel that I should be able to sort it out. I so want to be able to sort it and get in control of things, and not things getting worse like they are. Someone has put me off by saying there Psychiatrist is a bully. I've only seen one once. Are they bulllies? ? If they come over like that I am not going to be able to cope with it, then I don't know what to do. ****If anyone reads this can you tell me what you think.*** I could write a thread and ask I suppose what the girls think. The lady in the shop who freeked me out, kept on and on and pushing me to order something, that almost seemed like bullying. well tomorrow is not going to be good as I shall be on my own again, and I don't cope very well and get all down and tearful.
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Post by winegirl on Jun 17, 2007 19:25:32 GMT
Hi Jay
I am sorry you had such a tough time while you were out. I often look fward to going somewhere and then the panic kicks in and we have to go home.
I think what your friend said about the Phyciatrist is very unlikely. Maybe she has been unlucky, but I am positive that 99% of them are well qualified, kind people who are there to help you get better and you should def attend appointment with yours.
I felt pretty much the same before attanding my current anxiety management course, but found that once I got there it was really quite good.
Try not to worry too much about tomorrow. You might surprise yourslef and have agood day! One thing I have learnt on my course is that negative thoughts can lead to negative feelings happening, so whilst it is easy to say, try to be positive and you should have a positive outcome.
How has today been for you? Thinking of you
Winegirl x
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Post by helenr on Jun 18, 2007 19:55:26 GMT
Hi hun,
I'm sorry you've been having a rough time, and sorry for not keeping more up to date with whats been happening!
Both the psych's I've had have been lovely! One def had a better bedside manner than the other, but they both seemed to care about my situation. Also with work, I have to deal with them quite a bit, and again I would say they're nice and caring.
As in all walks of life, you are bound to gbet one or two, who are not what they should be, but I would say that thankfully this is not the norm.
I think you know you have to bite the bullet hun, your meds are not working for you, and you know Ill help and support you if any changes are made. love and hugs x
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Post by Jay on Jun 18, 2007 20:56:46 GMT
I am a bit scared about everything and my tremor/shakes have come back. And I keep crying on and off. Thanks for reasuring me about Psyches. I don't really know what mine is like yet I only saw her once, not sure what I make of her really.
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joannem
Senior Member
joannem mum of one little boy born Jan 2006
Posts: 314
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Post by joannem on Jun 18, 2007 21:20:05 GMT
Hi Jay I have seen my psych for a year now and he is the lovliest man and def not a bully.
I have a good CD for conquering fears and phobias, dont know if I told you this already but always have a "safe place" in your head that you can go to anytime no matter where you are and if you are out you can close your eyes and be right there....does that make sense??? Love Jo xx
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Post by Scarlet on Jun 19, 2007 6:33:52 GMT
Jay,
Sorry to hear you are in the wars hun, I hope the tremors disappear, did you change your dose of ADS recently? or are you worried about going to see the psychiatrist? When is your appointment?
Don't worry about Psychiatrists, try to look on them as normal everyday folks who are doing a job. I met 3 or 4 in the hospital where I was at and none were as intimidating as that cashier in Tescos you encountered *winks*. My Psychiatrist was lovely, just a normal family man with 3 kids. He knew his job well though and from day one I was adamant about not taking the ADs and he listened to me and never forced me to take anything until I was totally happy.
You'll be fine Jay, I think sometimes the added stress or anticipation of an event can cause a blip or two, but you are recovering and the psych will see that hun.
Hope you are having a better day.
Hugs Hugs Hugs
Scarlet X
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Post by babybumble on Jun 19, 2007 11:35:56 GMT
I am a bit scared about everything and my tremor/shakes have come back. And I keep crying on and off. Thanks for reasuring me about Psyches. I don't really know what mine is like yet I only saw her once, not sure what I make of her really. hey i saw mine for 1st time today ...so i cant comment too.. mine didnt say much ..other than im not in a nice place and she will b here for me...maybe next time will b better as she got more of background of me now?.. hope your abit happier today sweetie..xxx
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joannem
Senior Member
joannem mum of one little boy born Jan 2006
Posts: 314
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Post by joannem on Jun 19, 2007 13:22:17 GMT
How has your day been Jay? Thinking of you xx J xx
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Post by sianyc on Jun 19, 2007 16:10:37 GMT
Hi Jay
Just been catching up on your diary from the past few days.
I think the Pscyh is worth perservering with for a few visits to see how you get on and whether you feel able to talk to her.
Your meds may not suit you, which although irritating, can also be sorted out with the GP/psych. If they're not working for you anyway, perhaps you won't see a huge change when cutting them down to change to a different one.
Don't worry about feeling like you're not supporting anyone else here. We're all here for each other when we need help. Sometimes we're up to giving advice, support and opinions and other times all we feel up to is having a look through . Most often we just want to know we're not alone in this. I'm sure the time will come for you when you are well/on the road to recovery when you will be there for others suffering with PNI as you are now.
Nobody minds being here for you and helping in any way we can.
Take care lovely x
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Post by Jay on Jun 19, 2007 18:53:12 GMT
Hi I can't believe so many people have posted here for me.
I am pleased you all speak well of psychs. Apt next Thurs 28th. Someone told me they were Bullies which frightened me- but I have realised that the person who said this is not very nice!!!
I worked alone, but had a computer project. Writing my timeline to take with me to the psych. I want to also write a list of questions to ask. I realise that I do need the meds sorting. She is not keen to do this and do a change, but I will ask if I can top my present ones up with anything else. I do need something better, just to live and manage every day life.
I did get in bothers yesterday. I went out to meet my sister for lunch, and so that I would be ok I got out a diazepam and and imodium. When I was out I started to shake and got the deep tremor feeling and could not make it out as I should not have been that bad with the diazepam. Then when I got home there sat my two tablets, I had forgot to take!!!! The tremors kept going and were keeping me awake, but I did sleep and they were gone this morning.
Babybumble You know how to do that quote thing I can't do!!! Can't do hug either. I think you are clever.
You are all smashing friends. Thanks so much. Love to all Jay xx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 19, 2007 20:20:17 GMT
Glad you have your appt with Physch - a good step in movign forward. I am sorry it was rough for you when you went out without your meds (I know this feeling as have also been on diazepam), but isn't it amazing that even tho you didn't feel great you did it without them?!
Well done you x
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Post by Jay on Jun 21, 2007 0:25:05 GMT
Well here I am at 1.20am - no sleep even with lots of pills. My feeling better the past few days will be gone with tiredness later today.
Have been watching the film with joannem in it. She looks great. And brave for going on the TV. Good on you for going on and talking about the dreaded PNI!
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joannem
Senior Member
joannem mum of one little boy born Jan 2006
Posts: 314
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Post by joannem on Jun 21, 2007 14:42:56 GMT
Hiya hun Hope you get a good nights rest tonight xxx
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Post by Jay on Jun 21, 2007 18:03:39 GMT
Today was disaster day. We are very short staffed at work, so I had not committed myself encase I did not feel well enough to go in to help, after my two days I am usually a bit dead. I felt OK, even though I did not sleep much. so was going in for the morning. I decided to walk. that is where I made my mistake. I started off OK, no diaz I don't need them all the time, and I felt fine. I got about a quarter of the way there and suddenly found I was too tired and felt really exhausted and poorly. So I told myself off, and carried on, and completely ceased up. I could not go on or back. And I could not understand it. I managed to get to the bus stop, the bus past me just before I got there!! Then I started to get that deep tremor feel right inside me then I started to shake. I kept trying not to cry and tried to think what to do. I had a diazepam in my bag, but no spit even to get it down. So I crossed the road to the shop to get a bottle of water, and as I came out the next bus went past me. I had to sit on the wall until I felt better, then I managed to get myself home. I had a good cry, then went in the car. It cost me a fortune to park in the car park. I physically could not walk. It did not start as a panic. I worked OK when I was there, managing all the work. I can't understand what happened to me? ??
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