Post by molliesmummy on Nov 12, 2007 1:24:29 GMT
I'm calling mine 'Rachel's story' because i feel for people who are reading this- you'd need to know what has gone on for you to understand my mood changes and so on..
but its where to start!
and oh, i do tend to be quite random, as i WILL type what comes into my head.
i really don't know where to start, as i cant even begin to tell you my life- as far as i know its surrounded by lies, and i have to tell you my life story as Ive been depressed for years and gotten on with it- theres other people i needed to look after- and so on, but, it was only when i was pregnant did i get very very depressed, and i felt i needed help then, as i didn't want my Mollie to live in a negative atmosphere.
well...
i am so stuck...
see, this is what i mean when i say i cant talk about myself.
when i get into it I'm fine, but its starting it..
as far as i know i was a poorly baby.
but Ive now been told (alot of things came out in the open when i was pregnant) that my mum has or had Munchhausen's syndrome or however you spell it...
taking all of us in for unnecessary treatment one by one.
my sister Charlotte with her asthma, god knows about the 'big ones' as we call them, my three older siblings- Sarah who's 32 David who's 31 and Susan who's 30. Charlotte is 23.
I'm the youngest at 20.
with me it was my immune system over all as far as Charlotte has said.
now i get colds n the flu really bad. its deadly when i get them seriously!
i lost my voice one time for like 2 whole months!
my mum met my step dad when i was about 2 years old, and married when i was ten.
i remember mums depression very vividly.
she has had every condition under the bleedin sun honestly!
bipolar, manic depressive alcoholic suicidal --shes had strokes n cancer n god knows what else,and now Ive been told half the things she swears shes had or has is total bull crap.
when i was 9 i began to realize that mum n Pete, my step dad, weren't just arguing, it was because they were drunk, and my mum was 'on one' as our family calls it.
its not meant to be nasty toward her, but its the easiest way to talk about it between us, and if its to friends that know about her problem but aren't entirely close if you get me, then we say 'when mum was ill'.
when i was in year 6, aged nine, it was not even a week before mum n Pete's wedding.
they were drunk, and for some stupid messed up reason, my mum decided to dare Pete to take some pills.
he did and overdosed.
mum went insane as he'd taken her anti depressants, and called an ambulance, but as she was 'on one' and insanely aggressive, and had hurt Pete because he took her pills, the police came too.
Pete was in intensive care for a day or two and mum just went.
i don't know where. she smashed the house up saying the wedding was off and drove somewhere. and smashed into a police car of all cars!!
me and my sister Charlotte were left alone in the house all that time.
then on the day of the wedding, mum turned up telling everyone to get ready the wedding is on! Pete wore no socks and mum was hungover and still slightly p****d!
that was one of the earliest 'episodes' as i name them.
we have lots of names for those times!!
after that, mum quit her job and started college studying law.
i started high school too.
i remember one time when i wasn't all that friendly with my best friend Kara, we'd not been in high school for long n had met there through a friend, and she'd invited me to stay at hers.
mum turned up at about half one in the morning p****d.
i could hear her. i just knew it was her and told Kara not to go to the window, as we were meant to be asleep!
mum was yelling for me to come out as we were going on a little holiday again.
maria, Kara's mum came in and said 'your mums at the door rach'
'i know'
'what do you want me to do'
'don't answer the door'....
but by this time mum was getting louder and maria was getting worried about the nieghbours and she was banging on the door for me to go.
maria told her to leave and that she was my guardian as long as i was under her roof and it would be irresponsible for her to let me go.
and eventually mum left, and maria took me into her room and got it out of me what mum was like.
from then on, kara and maria have been amazing.
i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for them.
everythign went back to normal as usual and life went on until the nest time.
ill write more tomorow xxx
but its where to start!
and oh, i do tend to be quite random, as i WILL type what comes into my head.
i really don't know where to start, as i cant even begin to tell you my life- as far as i know its surrounded by lies, and i have to tell you my life story as Ive been depressed for years and gotten on with it- theres other people i needed to look after- and so on, but, it was only when i was pregnant did i get very very depressed, and i felt i needed help then, as i didn't want my Mollie to live in a negative atmosphere.
well...
i am so stuck...
see, this is what i mean when i say i cant talk about myself.
when i get into it I'm fine, but its starting it..
as far as i know i was a poorly baby.
but Ive now been told (alot of things came out in the open when i was pregnant) that my mum has or had Munchhausen's syndrome or however you spell it...
taking all of us in for unnecessary treatment one by one.
my sister Charlotte with her asthma, god knows about the 'big ones' as we call them, my three older siblings- Sarah who's 32 David who's 31 and Susan who's 30. Charlotte is 23.
I'm the youngest at 20.
with me it was my immune system over all as far as Charlotte has said.
now i get colds n the flu really bad. its deadly when i get them seriously!
i lost my voice one time for like 2 whole months!
my mum met my step dad when i was about 2 years old, and married when i was ten.
i remember mums depression very vividly.
she has had every condition under the bleedin sun honestly!
bipolar, manic depressive alcoholic suicidal --shes had strokes n cancer n god knows what else,and now Ive been told half the things she swears shes had or has is total bull crap.
when i was 9 i began to realize that mum n Pete, my step dad, weren't just arguing, it was because they were drunk, and my mum was 'on one' as our family calls it.
its not meant to be nasty toward her, but its the easiest way to talk about it between us, and if its to friends that know about her problem but aren't entirely close if you get me, then we say 'when mum was ill'.
when i was in year 6, aged nine, it was not even a week before mum n Pete's wedding.
they were drunk, and for some stupid messed up reason, my mum decided to dare Pete to take some pills.
he did and overdosed.
mum went insane as he'd taken her anti depressants, and called an ambulance, but as she was 'on one' and insanely aggressive, and had hurt Pete because he took her pills, the police came too.
Pete was in intensive care for a day or two and mum just went.
i don't know where. she smashed the house up saying the wedding was off and drove somewhere. and smashed into a police car of all cars!!
me and my sister Charlotte were left alone in the house all that time.
then on the day of the wedding, mum turned up telling everyone to get ready the wedding is on! Pete wore no socks and mum was hungover and still slightly p****d!
that was one of the earliest 'episodes' as i name them.
we have lots of names for those times!!
after that, mum quit her job and started college studying law.
i started high school too.
i remember one time when i wasn't all that friendly with my best friend Kara, we'd not been in high school for long n had met there through a friend, and she'd invited me to stay at hers.
mum turned up at about half one in the morning p****d.
i could hear her. i just knew it was her and told Kara not to go to the window, as we were meant to be asleep!
mum was yelling for me to come out as we were going on a little holiday again.
maria, Kara's mum came in and said 'your mums at the door rach'
'i know'
'what do you want me to do'
'don't answer the door'....
but by this time mum was getting louder and maria was getting worried about the nieghbours and she was banging on the door for me to go.
maria told her to leave and that she was my guardian as long as i was under her roof and it would be irresponsible for her to let me go.
and eventually mum left, and maria took me into her room and got it out of me what mum was like.
from then on, kara and maria have been amazing.
i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for them.
everythign went back to normal as usual and life went on until the nest time.
ill write more tomorow xxx