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Post by molliesmummy on Feb 20, 2008 17:25:51 GMT
i wish lol I'm going to be permanently tormented by him till we move i think. but i had to go into hospital on Saturday. i went in with pains all over and severe vomiting. i thought i could be pregnant before i went in and it was confirmed. Rik doesn't want another not yet anyway, and my mum is telling me to get rid as I'm on citalopram and she was on that and was bad with it, and thinks i cant cope and wont be able to. both my sisters Susan and Charlotte have given me some amazing advice, and theres no way I'm aborting this baby. what happens if Rik decides to leave me in the future, ill have to live with this. they thought the pains and sickness were down to it being an ectopic pregnancy at first but it was confirmed on Monday that it wasn't, and their worries of there being something wrong with my ovaries or anything to do with my womb altogether. but everything appears to be fine, they're still confused as to whats making me vomit so much but Ive got a goody bag lol of anti sickness pills and pain killers and so on to take everyday. but i have to go to the docs and all that now. theres no way I'm giving this up. i can do this. and i think this will make me better, i have a good feeling with this one, as i didn't do my last pregnancy well did i? i think i wont be depressed no more. or at least i hope lol. my best friend told me yesterday shes pregnant as well and we'll be due the same time, which is such amazing news as she was told she may not ever be able to have kids, and her body rejected the last one, and she miscarried. if that makes sense. I'm so happy for her. rik'll come round. i know he will. he cant make me abort this baby, he cant force me to, so far i have felt pressured to do so, but my two sisters have given me some more confidence in sticking up for myself today so Rik's on his way home and we're going to talk tonight. he keeps saying there isn't long to make up my mind, hes so in denial. I'm keeping this baby with or without Rik's help, despite us re-deciding to get married and really work at our relationship. we are meant to be, we really are. but he needs to work on his anger still. with having this baby as close as it is to mollies age if you get me, i can go back to work quicker and build a career earlier and have no worries. I'm going to write down all i want to do before this one is born. like get a house and so on. it'll be reet, i know it!
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Post by yoyo on Feb 20, 2008 17:35:28 GMT
Hi rachel, your positive attitude is really shining through that last post - that's what you need Great to hear you have support too in your decisions even though it may be tough x x You know yourself better than anyone - even if you doubt it at times Things will work out whatever you decide to do x
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Post by molliesmummy on Feb 21, 2008 0:34:55 GMT
i am happy i suppose and i definitely excited about this little one. (aw damn, i forgot about my cuppa tea lol) but i still cant get myself to even ring the doctors let alone go there. i just have this fear, of speaking on the phone, actually going out without rik...... i get up with Mollie and thats all i do. i don't go out except to that young mums group only i didn't go today/yesterday now, as i only came out of hosp Monday night and I'm still not too well. i just want to stay in there and have someone look after me for a change. everyone has this false impression Rik gives me the world, or is it I'm being selfish??? we argue way too much and its bothering me. yes he pays the bills for the both of us and pays for food but other than that... i have to use mollies money for my own needs, which is wrong to me anyway. but we're working at this. we're meant to be and we have a family together now. i cant just throw that away because my head is messed up with depression or what have you. maybe I'm not as depressed as many on here, and i know i don't come across as that depressed as i actually am if that makes sense..... but lol i dunno, i have to go now anyway....
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flobob
Senior Member
Posts: 357
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Post by flobob on Feb 21, 2008 5:21:58 GMT
Hey Rachel - congratulations! I am also pregnant and it is helping me to get over the depression. Like you said I didn't do my last pregnancy well, so just not having scary thoughts is making me feel fine. Keep talking to those people in your life that are supporting you with this - your sisters and your friend. I hope Rik is feeling happier about it all now. It took my husband a while too. FloBob
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Post by Scarlet on Feb 21, 2008 12:00:44 GMT
Just wanted to say Congratulations on your pregancy hun.
xxxxx
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Post by molliesmummy on Feb 25, 2008 9:54:54 GMT
ive been really really sick lately thats all i can say, its been terrible. and on saturday night- i was at a bus stop on my own with mollie and i passed out on my own with her- whilst throwing up. im really scared to be on my own with her. but i need to go to town today and cant get in touch with anyone
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Post by sianyc on Feb 25, 2008 14:26:15 GMT
Hey Rach
Saturday must've been bloody scary for you lovely. This part of pregnancy will hopefully not last that long and you'll be able to eat again!
Try to rest loads (as much as you can with a little one anyway!) and drink juice to keep your blood sugar up until you can keep food down. It'll sound silly but softmints and fizzy water worked wonders for me :-)
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Post by winegirl on Feb 26, 2008 10:52:36 GMT
Hi Rachel
When i suffered really bad with PNI i struggled with fainting and nausea and got really scraed about being on my own with LO too. But the good news is that you know this is just pregnancy hormones so wont last much longer.
I never suffered morning sickness, my midwife thought it was because i did nothing but eat for the whole 9 months which kept my sugar levels up (it was custard donughts with me).
Did you manage to get into town yesterday?
WG x
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Post by molliesmummy on Mar 12, 2008 23:22:03 GMT
i managed to get intouch with riks little sister, and got out. but on the thursday, i went back into hospital. the pains and sickness were crippling, ive never encountered anything like it. they thought it was a hole in my womb- the things they were telling me it could be!! my head was spinning. they didnt scane me until the monday. my womb is backwards leaning and is trying to fold at the top, but apparently its the sickness thats causing me all this pain. im still rather ill even now. im almost ten weeks now, and i could have another couple o weeks left of this. i cant really say much more cept im just so so ill. aches pains sickness im so sick of it. i thought id sail through this one, and not because its my second, but because i figured as all pregnancies are different i may have a good one. i did start really positive, i thought of going away caravaning with the kids and... i can still picture doing that, but ive gone back to feeling pretty low again. i thought finally i can get rid of the meds. mollie is into her teething now. poor thing is waking up all hours but i still think shes coping well. riks temper is getting bad again which is adding more stress. im really not coping well atm. and my self inflicted lip piercing is really hurting me!! still!!
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Post by sianyc on Mar 13, 2008 12:57:35 GMT
Is Rik freaking out about another lo?
It does take time to adjust to the idea of another baby especially when it's a bit of a surprise (I should know!). Will he talk to you about it at all?
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Post by molliesmummy on Mar 16, 2008 22:28:37 GMT
hi sorry I'm taking ages to get on here, Ive not been up to being on here. Rik isn't freaking out anymore about having another, hes fine and is seeming to be excited. thinking up names with me as we fall asleep.... its been real sweet. but Rik's attitude/anger- it can be a bit much and it really is all his part. its on and off though. but my friends think I'm mad because the bad outweighs the good in our relationship and I'm focusing on the positive in it, as the positive is something it really is... my sickness went away, but on taking my pills yesterday- its back again- and thank god i have a chance of finally getting to see my doctor about everything and to sort out my anti-natal stuff. and i think Mollie is ready for the dentist so ill try and get her in there too. Ive been getting such a tight chest of late as well. i cant get words out when it comes on. i thought it could be my asthma coming back that i haven't had since early childhood. it isn't panic attacks- it cant be, as i don't think I'm worked up when i get them. could be anxiety??? i dunno. ill be telling the doc don't worry. but as for my moods... i don't really know. i haven't been able to get an appointment about my meds for well over a week or so, i was meant to go in the day i went in hosp last??? so Ive been without my meds y'see. the guy downstairs started back to his usual tricks today as well. which didn't 'arf anger me something rotten. Mollie got scared too, this loud sudden booming noise. the police wouldn't do anything despite me telling them i have a right to ask for him to be arrested now, as he has more than three log numbers/ complaints against him now. but as it was during the day effing so n so's. I'm so angry at them. stupid laws. he wouldn't open the door to me or Rik again as well. and we had to go out for a bit and it knackered me out but when we got back to the house he was still blasting music. then his girlfriend opened the front door for a smoke, in hardly anything. i sound awful, but i really hate the polish. Ive not met a single nice polish person. and theres a few in Manchester right now. im sorry but i really hoped we'd be out of this place by now and that we wouldnt have to put up with him any longer. ill tell you how the appointment goes. i have no idea how my moods have been. so ill have to see what the doc says.
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Post by molliesmummy on Mar 19, 2008 15:06:14 GMT
im having a bad day
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Post by cheshire on Mar 19, 2008 16:52:36 GMT
We're here for you if you want to talk about it - or you can Pm one of us.
Lots of love Hopefulxx
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Post by winegirl on Mar 19, 2008 18:04:37 GMT
You ok Rachel? I will be around again after 8 if you want to chat xxx
WG x
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Post by molliesmummy on Mar 20, 2008 8:41:31 GMT
i was feeling very down and mollies teething was pretty bad yesterday. I'm full of the flu on top of the pains and sickness as well, and i just could not cope, and apparently thats not a valid reason for Rik to come home to help me. i don't think Rik even tried to make it home though, he was being very condescending and basically out of f*cking order with me, as i told him Ive done everything there is to try and console Mollie and nothing was working, she wasn't eating or anything, and he was like- well theres nothing i can do is there. rather than helping, i know i probably sound like a wingebag, but when ever i get a cold let alone flu or chest infection like i have, i get paraletic. i get so bad with it so quickly and it always always kills me. and like i say on top of the chest pains tummy cramps and sickness- I'm wiped out totally, i wasn't losing my rag with her, but it was upsetting. she keep losing her balance as well, cuz of her earache and banging her head, and its was so upsetting to watch.
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