Rinns diary

[rinny]

ive been feeling a bit off all day tbh fuzzy mainly but this evening i got one of my flashes that i would hurt bubs i dont want to go into details as its just going to set me off again. this made me panicky but i settled down and fed him to sleep which helped me as much as it did him. Then just now i was in bed have a ps2 up their now as it gives me somethign to concentrate on and i can usually fall asleep while playing not ideal but whatever works when youve not slept for a while cant be bad. Anyways i felt like the side of my face had gone numb immediately thought i was having a stroke and this has triggered a bit of a panick and ive been scratching at both sides of my face to see if i can feel it needless to say now ive calmed down a bit my face is quite sore though i cant stop scratching just to make sure i can still feel it am going to have to talk to someone about this soon i had been keeping it together so i had kinda told myself that reconising it had helped me deal and i could cope evidently not.

[winegirl]

Hi Rinny

Is it ok to post in your diary? If not please say so.

Just wanted to sympathise with everything you say really re fuzzy head, numb face, panicky etc...

You are right. Excepting it is PNI and nothing more serious really is a great way to deal with it. That is how I have managed, to understand why these things are happening and then i can deal with them better.

Here if you ever need to talk about it

WG x

[monica]

Hi

Just wanted to try adn reassure you - I too had numb patches which seemed to move on a daily basis. it used to freak me out big time and would be one of many things which would send me spiralling downhill. I'm pretty sure this was all PNI related for me, but it can be frightening.

have you seen your dr at all? Might be worth going just so they can reassure you. Mine took loads of blood tests and I saw eventually quite a few specialists as I suffered from various weird symtpms but all was ok.

Hope today has been good for you

Monica

[rinny]

Wine girl its fine to post ty for replying and monica ty for telling me you had numb patches this was very reassuring. Going to the docs is probably a good idea but i wouldn't know what to say without sounding like a time waster and my doctor can get quite short and always seems in a hurry its not a place i am that comfortable with going to really but i am looking into changing our docs so perhaps somethign for in the future
Last night i was a bit jittery still as i was worried about going numb again but my partner was with me and he snuggled in he has very long hair so i ended up twiddling his pony tail until i fell asleep sort of like a displacement activity sounds childish but it worked and he didnt mind.
My hv came the other day but we had a guest staying so i didnt mention anything about PNI shes not due now till january and i dont want to make another appointment with her sooner incase she wants to know why before hand or incase i chicken out of tellign her.

[sianyc]

My OHcalled the HV and told her as I was dodging the issue big style!

It gave me the kick I needed as there was no going back on it then x

[Bobyn]

Yep, me too SianyC. The first time it got to breaking point before I asked for help and acknowledged the illness - bad idea. And this time my OH stayed home to see my HV and tell her the truth. Could your OH or someone else close to you help by calling them and talking to the doctor or HV with you Rinny?

[rinny]

my partner is very much hoping we can deal with this on our own and would rather not tell anyone. Its not him being mean or even sticking his head in the sand its just he likes to keep stuff private when its like this. So he wouldnt be up for telling her. We have noone else nearby or indeed anyone else that knows. part of me keeps thinking that perhaps deep down im just a drama queen thinking i have pni rather then actually having it perhaps im right.

[Bobyn]

Oh Rinny. It doesn't sound like you're being a drama queen at all. The feelings you've described do sound like PNI but we're not health professionals so it really would be good if you could talk to someone like a GP or HV about it. Keep writing on here though too if you think it's helping to have other people to talk to? I hope you know we're all here to listen, take care and have a good weekend. x

[winegirl]

Hi Rinn

From what you have said I don't think you are a drama quenn at all and think you are definately suffering.

I really think you could do with some more support whilst you are going through this. But please know that we are always here for yo u to to help when we can.

Take Care

WG x

[nishka]

Hi hope you don't mind me sticking me head in!

First of all I think you need more support than you are currently getting. Its good that your partner wants to help you and that you are able to share some of how you are feeling with him but I think PNI is something that needs a bit of extra help here and there. Your HV is a good place to start - I found them very helpful. Sometimes its good to fire off on someone who isn't so directly involved. I know your partner wants to keep this private - but your HV or GP still has a code of confidentiality to you so that its not like broadcasting your problems to the world. You could even see them without telling your partner and they wouldn't be able to say anything.

I hope you feel better soon, I know its a real struggle. You are doing so well.

xxx

[sianyc]

Hi

Like Nishka said, the GP and HV won't pass on any information you tell them (other than to each other and then that is only to help you)

They can give you links to other support, like meds/counselling/mother and baby groups ect which could help you in your recovery. I do know it's excruciating having to talk about how you're feeling with strangers but keeping feelings of PNI to yourself and trying to deal with it without as much support as you can lay your hands on, could mean you suffer for longer.

Obviously, we're here for you. Please, use this site as much as you want and don't think you're being a drama queen - we've all been there (or are still there to some extent) and want to help x

[rinny]

Ty for all the replys tbh i think im going to go ahead and visit my gp though i can say that now when its all awkward to get an appointment depends how brave about it ill be when i phone up. I am getting annoyed with myself over the paranoia and the thinking im ill im sure most of it is in my head im not sleeping properly i cant remember the last time ive slept through a whole night and cant blame bubs as hes been really good recently. Im so tired and ratty during the day but as soon as bed time rolls round im thinking people are going to break in especially tonight as the last few nights when weve had all the stuff for the kids for the morning. I really dont want to go to sleep but i know i need to otherwise ill be unbearable tomorow and i dont want to be all shouty on christmas i suppose if i do stay up ive probably only got another 5 and a half hours to go before they wake up anyways anyways thats me ranting and raving enough for tonight i hope everyone else manages a good nights sleep and a merry christmas to all those who swing that way

[Jay]

Hiya

Hope you managed to sleep in the end.
I can relate to being tired but not wanting to go to bed. At the moment I am an early riser!! 4am today!!

Try to be brave and ring the surgery and get the appointment. And just explain things and how they are for you.

I hope you manage your day.
Merry Christmas Rinny,

love from
Jay xx

[Scarlet]

How are you doing rinny?

Did you manage to get some sleep hun?

I think it's a good idea to make an appointment with your GP. With PNI it's normal to feel up one minute and down the next, so you may feel brave enough one minute to phone and the next have your doubts. I was like this as well, but do try and make that appointment or contact your HV.

Let us know how you are

Scarlet
X

[sianyc]

Hope you had a good Christmas x