|
Post by Scarlet on Jan 4, 2008 9:09:47 GMT
How old is your wee one again SJ? Time does fly doesn't it, but you are recovering hun and the intrusive thoughts get less with time, and yes there will be a time when you get in your car and don't even think about having an accident or impending doom, I promise you hun.
Did you buy anything nice on the internet? I'm going to brave the sales myself today with two kids in tow.
Wishing you a good day today.
Love and hugs
Scarlet X
|
|
sj07
Full member
Posts: 41
|
Post by sj07 on Jan 4, 2008 17:01:29 GMT
Hi Scarlet LO is almost 8 months now time has gone so fast it will be her first birthday before I know it!! Managed to restrain myself from buying anything else on the net been going mad buying things in the sales online like loads of new clothes thinking it will cheer me up but never actually does as I never go anywhere to wear them!! Gosh I couldn't even brave the actual sales on my own so def not with 2 kids!! Hope you got some good bargains!!! Feeling really awful today as had a bad nights sleep so when baby had her nap at 12 went back to bed myself then woke up at half 3 and she was still sleeping!! Worrying that there is something wrong as she only usually has half an hour and feeling a bad mum because ive hardly done anything with her all day. Starting higher dose of anti ds tonight worrying about that too... hopefully no more trips to a and e because of them!!!
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Jan 4, 2008 18:43:26 GMT
HI SJ
My LO would normally only have one half hour nap in the day too, but then there were these odd freaky times when she would be gone for hours! I would worry about it too, but if she has had a bad night or has a bit of a cold or something it tends to take it out of them a bit, so I wouldnt worry.
Hope you get on ok with your new dose of meds hun, I am sure you will be ok, and we will all be thinking of you x
WG x
|
|
sj07
Full member
Posts: 41
|
Post by sj07 on Jan 4, 2008 21:15:36 GMT
Feeling sooo rubbish 2nite. My mates called me wanting me to go out in town with them and I really want to but I just cant. They must think im so boring now! I cant really explain to them about pni I mean im 20 I used to be out every week getting everyone else to come out and now ive changed so much how would they understand that im too scared to go out ?!?! I have no confidence anymore and just feel like everyone thinks im fat and horrible!! Last time I went out it was so packed and crowded and I had a massive panic attack and bf had to come pick me up I was so spaced out and freaking out but had to kinda pretend to them I was okay as I cant explain to anyone how bad im feeling when I actually have them. I start getting really spaced out and paranoid and worried - is this actually a panic attack or could it be something worse?!? Ohhh I need a drink!! Wheres the wine!!
|
|
|
Post by monica on Jan 4, 2008 22:47:33 GMT
Hi
Panic attacksn are so scary. i didn't know what was happenng to me - I also have a tendancy to feel spaced out. Maybe jsut go out for a drink with your friends - to a quiet pub or something - that might be better? Have you tried talking to your freinds about it. They might not have experienced how you're feeling bu tthey might understand.
Well done on getting to the shops the other day. Keep it up if you can - a breath of fresh air and different scenario will do you good as well as give you confidence. Be kind to yourself - this is an illness which robs you of confidence, self esteem - and you should really congratulate yourself for every achievement. You will recover, I promise
Monica
|
|
Bobyn
Senior Member
Posts: 454
|
Post by Bobyn on Jan 5, 2008 16:59:36 GMT
Hi SJ, Your friends will still be there when you've recovered and the most important person to look after and make happy at the moment is you. Did you make it out for a bit or not? I used to hate the changes in myself after my first one. I went from going out all the time and feeling gorgeous and sociable to not being able to say the 'right' thing and not liking big crowds or groups of people at all. It does get better and you also change the things that you do over time so that eventually your social life matches how you are feeling. How did increasing the anti-depressants go? I guess the effects haven't kicked in yet fully but I hope you've had no trouble from them. Seeing you lots of hope for a good weekend. Love, Bobyn
|
|
sj07
Full member
Posts: 41
|
Post by sj07 on Jan 5, 2008 20:36:33 GMT
Thanks for writing back to me Monica and Bobyn.
I didn't go out in the end just monged on the sofa as usual and didn't start higher anti ds as had one left and didn't realise so starting tonight instead. Had a fairly good day today went out shopping with my mum it took me about 4 hours of worrying and feeling anxious to actually get out and almost didn't go but when I got out I felt really good and had a happy time yey! Found out my mum has been to the doctors and got a sick note for work for a couple of weeks and am really worrying about her as she has an important stressful job where she has to lead a team of people and I feel it is my fault she has had to take time off. I know that she has never got a sick note or had time off work ever before and I think me being back home has made her have to take the time off as she herself is feeling anxious about stuff. There are other things going on I just wish I could make things better. My mum is so amazing and supportive and strong and i haven't ever seen her like this. It really worries me and I feel guilty as if i hadn't come home she probably wouldn't be as stressed out! Really wish I could get better!!! Things are slighly looking up though i think.
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Jan 5, 2008 20:40:47 GMT
Hi SJ
Dont feel guilty hun! Your mum will want nothing more than to look after you. My Mum is the same, I went back home to live for a few months when i was 18 and i would be out till 3 in the morning and she would still wait up for me. She said it made her happy (!?)
Well done on getting out shopping! I have always found that the lead up to going out is always much worse than actually being there. I am glad you had a nice time. x
Take Care
WG x
|
|
sj07
Full member
Posts: 41
|
Post by sj07 on Jan 6, 2008 0:41:18 GMT
Thanx WG x Dunno wat id do without ur msgs of support!! Must think am a right moaner!!
I cant bloody sleep yet again been in bed for hours just thinking and thinking. Feel so tired yet when im in bed it is just impossible to sleep. Doctor gave me diazapam to help me sleep but they dont even work and i have a high dose of them. Think i am going to go back on monday and see if they will give me anything else . I have always suffered with insomnia used to worry if i couldn't sleep and counted down the hours till i had to get up for work but now its worse as i have a little person to look after all day!!! ahhh moaning again!!!
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Jan 6, 2008 13:20:20 GMT
Hi SJ
I found the diazepam had no effect on making me sleep either. Sounds like you need some proper sleeping tablets, i would definately go back to the gp and ask for some!
How are you feeling today? Did you manage any sleep in the end?
WG x
|
|
|
Post by sianyc on Jan 6, 2008 19:49:52 GMT
Hi SJ
Let your mum look after you lovely. She obviously wants to. Think what you would do for your lo after just this short time. She won't mind about taking time off - you're more important to her x
|
|
sj07
Full member
Posts: 41
|
Post by sj07 on Jan 7, 2008 20:35:26 GMT
Feel so crap 2day. Dont feel like i wanna be here anymore had a really bad day yesterday and feel so emotional 2day and feel like no one cares. Dont feel like anyone should care about me feel worthless and awful 2day.
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Jan 7, 2008 20:58:15 GMT
Hi SJ
WE CARE!! And your little girl cares! In my darkest times it has been my LO that has got me through it. I know she needs her Mum. You are not worthless hun, you are poorly and this stupid illness is making you feel this way. This is not forever hun, you just need to see it through so that you can get to the light when life will be ace again xxx
We are ALWAYS here for you babes xxxx
WG x
|
|
|
Post by Scarlet on Jan 8, 2008 8:56:57 GMT
Feel so crap 2day. Dont feel like i wanna be here anymore had a really bad day yesterday and feel so emotional 2day and feel like no one cares. Dont feel like anyone should care about me feel worthless and awful 2day. SJ, how are you feeling today hun. As WG said, we care about you, you are not alone. I have felt like you in the past and I can reassure you that things do get better and the down-time will become less and less and you will be able to ride it out soon. We are here for you whenever you need to talk. Love and hugs Scarlet X
|
|
Bobyn
Senior Member
Posts: 454
|
Post by Bobyn on Jan 8, 2008 13:31:15 GMT
Oh SJ. There are lots of people here who care about you, and your Mum clearly loves you very very much, and your LO would be lost without you. I really hope today is a better day for you. Just hang on in there through the bad ones, eventually they'll become less frequent and you will start to feel better over time. Sending you lots of hugs. xxx
|
|