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Post by winegirl on Jun 17, 2008 14:37:39 GMT
Hi Hun
I have been thinking about you today wondering how it went with CPN. WELL DONE on being so honest with him! You have done brilliantly and now perhaps he can start to get you the right help that you need.
Its such good news that he is going to write the report for you. I really am very pleased for you, and even better that he is looking into the CBT for you with s/h, I think CBT will be exactly what you need as it retrains the brain in to making you not want to self harm.
So pleased for you babes I really am, I will be back later to see how things are going this afternoon.
Sending you love
WG xx
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Post by chica on Jun 17, 2008 15:51:34 GMT
That is such good news, well done for being so brave and telling him exactly where you are at. I am sure, that you have just turned a very huge corner in your life. We will be with you all the way.
Love and hugs Chica
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 17, 2008 20:14:54 GMT
cpn told me that there is going to be changes in our mental health system here.
They are splitting all the cpns and psychiatrists and social workers into two teams - one to deal with people with psychosis ie schizophrenia etc and one for other illnesses such as depression, anxiety, personality disorders etc. So I might have to have a new CPN. It depends on where my CPN goes and as he is part time only and about to retire they might just get rid of him anyway. He doesnt know until they decide over next couple of weeks. Bit sad and angry over it as i hate chamge and i just started opening up to him a bit more and might have to start all over again with someone else. Why do things have to change???
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Post by winegirl on Jun 17, 2008 20:20:14 GMT
On a plus note though Shell, the new CPN will probably be far more updats and qualified in handling your issues then the chap you have been seeing. He admitted to you he didnt really understand self harming so prob be a great thing to be assigned someone who does!!
How you doing tonight hun??
WG x
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Post by bam02 on Jun 17, 2008 20:20:16 GMT
My teams changed in last year, but only got mine in last year anyway. It seems they always change the mental health teams. Not always for good reasons,(usually to save money), but it could be good for you, another person with a different outlook.
Would a female help? I had a older male do my assesment in 2006 and then later he retired - i was pleased - didn't want to see him again.
Its hard but things can change for the better sometimes. Big hugs luv...
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 17, 2008 20:31:31 GMT
Hi BAM - I did have a female con til they gave me this bloke and i had her for a year and a half so she knew everything and i could talk to her and tell her everything and she knew how i coped with things and tried helping so much. I wish i was still seeing her but needed more intervention so was given this bloke but i think he is worse. Maybe it would be good to get someone else but it means starting all over again. I just dont do well with change.
Hi WG - I am a little fed up tonight but am ok. Keep wanting to reach for the blades tonight but have told myself NO!!!
Shell
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Post by winegirl on Jun 17, 2008 20:35:12 GMT
Good for you girl! I don't like change either. In fact is my daily routine is even mildly up-skittled i get in a mess. But I have found that when I changed things like mental health worker, gp etc I have worked myself up and actually its all turned out for the best. Its normally the way these things go.
You have done so well with the CPN today, and I hope you find out about the CBT soon! You should be so proud of yourself x
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Post by bam02 on Jun 17, 2008 20:38:49 GMT
Chelle
keep thinking that love. Its hard to say NO - but its good you are thinking it and saying it to yourself... Well done girl...
Yes change is hard... But can sometimes be for the better... Hold that thought....
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 17, 2008 20:57:40 GMT
NO NO NO NO NO - i am telling myself no but the urge is so strong.
I wish there was someone here with me to stop me. Its too late to call my friend. Im on my own.
I hate this so much. Maybe once i cut i will feel better again.
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Post by bam02 on Jun 17, 2008 21:06:03 GMT
No you wont darling I know I have done it too and its so temporary ... Especially with the results to live with and maybe you need to go to the a&e and it goes on.. You are OK you r Strong.
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 17, 2008 21:10:21 GMT
Im goimg to take my meds and go to bed so that i am safe. I hate having these thoughts.
Shell
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Post by bam02 on Jun 17, 2008 21:12:48 GMT
Thats really good . I am pleased to think you feel that you can. Please let us know in the morning.
Is that Ok?
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Post by winegirl on Jun 17, 2008 22:01:31 GMT
Hi Shell
I am so sorry hun I lost internet and have been on the phone to the internat company for the last hour trying to fix it!! I hope you are ok and you have got yourself off to bed ok. You have been doing brilliantly with beating this, and you can do it again tonight.
Thinking of you - sleep well xx
WG x
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Post by monica on Jun 18, 2008 6:49:53 GMT
Hello
Well doneon being so open with your cpn. it is hard, butyou've done well. Hopefully this new cpn can give you proper advice and help - I think this guy really doesn't know that much about it. Self harm like anxiety etc does not disappear overnight and he shouldnot expect it to. CBT sounds really good idea - it's a good technique to help combat negative thinking. I did a bit (basic stuff). My obsessions used to revolve around illnesses and dying and it would help me strip my thoughts down to basics and break them down to the point where I could see they were irrational.
How was last night?
Take care
Monica
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 18, 2008 15:07:37 GMT
Feeling very upset and sad today. Got a letter from m solicitor saying that now two years have passed since me and phil separated - he wants a divorce. I knew it was coming but it has really hit me hard. I still love him so much and really wanted him to change his mind and take me back but now this proves that he doesnt love me anymore and wants to move on without me. I miss him so much and would do anything to have him back. I feel so angry with myself that I left him and wished that i hadnt and wished that i realised that i was just ill and not thinking straight. Its breaking my heart to think about him. I have to agree to his divorce petition but part of me wants to just ignore it and hope that he will change his mind. I hate myself for ruining my life and ruining phils life and ruining jacks life. I dont deserve anyone. Shell
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