Mnfmums Diary

[Weeble]

Thats great news Mnfmum, makes me mad that woman with PNI or antenatal depression have to wait so long, Nice guidelines say they should be accelerated on the list and should wait no more than one month.

I have found therapy brilliant, but taking drugs is easier

Cbt is the best treatment for OCD like stuff so great you are so positive, however, I think the peg thing is normal as I have to hang my washing out in a certain order - all driven by being to take it in more easier - my oH things I am barking - um and I have to have the stuff on the supermarket belt in the same order so I pack it in the best way to unpack and put away.

I have been told by two psychs and my psychologist that the unreality stuff is an extreme anxiety reaction, so please dont worry about it, although it is rarer now it still happens to me lots.

I took sertraline, but was allergic to it so swaped, wish I was still on it, it was the best one so far

Kat

Kat

[butterfly]

Hi mnfmum,
I felt excatly the same about the counselling like there are loads of cans of worms in my head and there all going to be opened up and how will I deal with it. Well I am going to my first proper session last one was supposed to be an induction. So we'll have to see.
My brothers fiance has OCD and I understand how that effects life. It must be even more hard having a young child to care for. Hers effects her with cleaning/germs particually around food.
Hope you get your couselling soon
Take care keep talking
Xx

[mnfmum]

Hi Butterfly

I have made a joke of my OCD in the past but I don't suppose it is too funny really, not for my hubbie anyway because he just can't understand the supid things I have to do or how revved up I get when he says anything about just leaving stuff, bless him he tries though!!!

When is your first counselling appointment? I too have had my precounselling session so next week we should be getting started properly!

I went for my gastro appoinment last night to try and get sorted. I was lucky enough to see the clinical director who was wonderful (my Mum paid for a private appointment). He thinks I could have inflamatory bowel of coeliac disease so I have to have a camera up and down and bipsies of my gut and bowel, nice eh, noone would believe that until about 2 years ago I was a really healthy woman who never went to the Drs now I'm never away and I bloody work there!!!

Must go little man needs his porridge!

Lots of love
xxxxx

[Weeble]

Thats great news that you start your talking next week. Also that is great news about your gut, I know you probably dont think so but it is so better to know what is wrong and for someone senior and serious to take it seriously. Wait and see what it is but both illnesses are very treatable and you will be that lovely healthy woman again.

How is everything else going???

Kat

[mnfmum]

Kat you are so so kind and supportive, thank you!

Im doing ok thanks, still have the unreality which I keep harping on about and am a bit nervous about my daughter starting school next week, after spending weeks joking about not being able to wait to have a bit of peace with the little man, I'm thinking I'm actually really going to miss her!!!

Tonight I had to take my daughter to her swimming lesson and little man had to come along too because hubbie was working til 6. This is going to sound really stupid but I was proud of myself because in my darkerst hours I used to have a fit about having to take them both to the pool, it made me super anxious, it was all fine, even had to give him his pudding sat in his buggy in the cafe and noone died in the process, the things that are major achievements eh?!?

How is the rest of your week going? I hope that things are keeping fairly even for you, thinking about you.

xxxxx

[Victoria]

Morning, well done on taking them both to the pool, it doesnt sound stupid. My daughter had swimming lessons up until the holidays, had to stop her due to this bleeping illness and hubby giving up work, but I used to leave my youngest home with hubby. On the weeks when I had to take her with me, I dreaded it and even contemplated sending my daughter in on her own and staying in the car with the youngest strapped in!! I didnt. I hated the fact that she would want to get out as soon as we got in the cafe and want to wander around so I had to be responsible for her, instead of just sitting watching my daughter swim. The most anxious time for me was getting my daughter dried, or rather waiting for her in the changing rooms throwing her the odd shout to stop messing about and get on with it lol. The youngest, Ruby, would be in her buggy moaning and crying cos she was fed up and too hot and wanted out. I could feel the anxiety spreading and the stress hitting the top of my head. So ..........after all that waffling, well done. It is an achievement, managing to get through it without it being a major episode. I hope you are ok this morning and have a good day. xxx

[Weeble]

Agree with FSG, swimming pools and swimming lessons have been very stressful for me too. so well done, in fact can you send some swimming pool mojo down the line to me, S starts on monday and T starts on friday.

This is my 999 post, so tomorrow I will post my 1000, wonder what happens, will I get an extra star, lets see. Still thought I would record this as my 999th

Look after yourself, hope the weekend is good and look forward to hearing more about your life

Kat

[juppster]

Hi there
I just wanted to saay well done on the swimming lessons too!! that would be a major thing for me to try and do so congratulations to you!! My little man goes back to gymnastics on Tuesday and I have to sit in outside and wait for him for an hour whilst he does it as parents aren't allowed to leave the building!! dreading it! Hoping your weekend is a good one xx

[Weeble]

How are things going this week for you? how are your kids?? Is it raining where you live too?
What exciting or not so exciting things happened at the weekend.

Kat

[Weeble]

How is everything?

[Victoria]

Hi hope you are ok. Catch up when you get chance. xxx

[mnfmum]

Hi Kat and FSG

I wrote a great big post this morning, goodness only knows what I did with it!!! I was saying sorry for not being around for a few days and explaining it was because what I thought was an internet problem was me not having the the brain to turn the wireless on and off again, NUMPTY!!! I can't believe how simple I have become since having this illness, my head is up my bum a lot of the time and it drives me nuts!!!

Last week was a very mixed bag really, my daughter had her first week at school which she loved, just 3 short days and the same this next week to ease them in. I also had my first counselling appointment on Wednesday, I think it will be good for me but it is hard to go back over my whole life and address things that I would never have imagined to be relevant in making me into the person I am. I also find it hard to think about how my parents brought me up, don't get me wrong we weren't too badly treated but my Mum was hard to take mentally sometimes. I will keep going but I'm not too sure that I will gel with the counsellor either but hey we will see!

I just seem to have gone a bit backwards, not as bad as in the deep dark days but definately worrying about irrational stuff again and tearful with bad thoughts coming back. Touch wood I can still sleep ok, thank the Lord. I'm sure its just because there has been a lot of change going on after weeks of the same routine and I am such a creature of habit!

Kat its good to hear that you seem to have had a week with quite a few positives in it, also great news about babes tummy. So near now, I think that you are so strong, an amazing person and an inspiration to me, I'm glad your son went on ok at school too, I can't imagine where the last 4 years have gone! I have a memory box for my daughter and keep meaning to start one for my son and do his baby book, one day I will. Mind you I still need to finish my daughters years on so I can't blame the lack of stuff for the little guy all on my illness!!!

My Dr wants to see me tommorow to discuss what the medics are going to do so I will tell her how I've been feeling, I bet she will want to increse my meds and I really don't want to do that, I will see.

Thanks ladies for being so caring and wondering if I was ok, I'm ok just bloody stupid!!!

Lots of love
xxxxx

[Victoria]

Hi glad you are ok, I havnt had any cbt counselling as yet but have heard others say that you can go a little backwards sometimes after having your lifes evens brought back to the front of your mind. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow, let us know how you get on. xxx

[mnfmum]

Hi FSG

I will do and thanks. I can understand about the counselling. I'm doing computerised CBT too at the local Childrens Centre whilst I wait for it proper. So far I have been waiting 14 weeks, how on earth can that be right?!? Can I ask you, do you or have you ever drunk alcohol on your medication? I sometimes fancy a glass of wine but for some reason I really darent for fear of putting myself backwards, before all this I used to love jumping on the 'wine train' as me and my best friend call it!

I hope you are doing ok, speak to you soon

xxxxx

[butterfly]

hi there!
thought i'd pop by. Just read about your experiences about the counselling. I too am in the early days of counselling and felt excatly the same - like i am not sure if i will gel with my counsellor and i do feel i have taken a few steps back last week, but i am going to keep going.
I take an oold fashioned antid called dosuelipin as i still breat feed. Its says not to drink but i cant do without the odd glass of wine - and i haven't noticed any major effects. Totally wouldn't advice it though - i am bad for doing it!
Take care hun - keep writing,
xx