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Post by Weeble on Apr 11, 2011 20:58:45 GMT
Totally makes sense, the bonding takes time, I have found having special times with them is so important to help. Like reading a book, or playing with a favourite toy or baby massage. Cbt takes practice and effort to get it down to a pat so keep going
Kat
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Post by juppster on Apr 12, 2011 7:38:04 GMT
Agree with Kat mate, i really struggled to bond with my little man for such a long time but think that for a lot of women that is quite normal. As Kat says, keep going with the cbt, its REALLY hard at first but it does get easier x
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Post by cazba11 on Apr 12, 2011 11:59:07 GMT
Back again How long did it take you girls to have this overwhelming love? I know everyone differs!!... Thanks again for all the postings....
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Post by monica on Apr 12, 2011 17:31:22 GMT
Hi
I do agree - the bonding issue is a very common one with pni. I never had this (but had other symptoms instead!), so can't really comment on this one. Usually as you pick up, those feelings can start to appear ie love. I think iti's always there just buried deep. you can try to do things like baby massage, skin to skin contact if you can manage that, playign together etc to help build that bond but it will come.
How have you been recently?
Monicax
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Post by Weeble on Apr 12, 2011 22:11:58 GMT
Hi
When my first son was born by emergency section after a 34 hour labour I felt protective but did not feel the overwhelming love. It came at about seven months, I think, but it did get very frayed when I had pni with my second son. When my second son was born I couldnt bear to touch him, I did not want him, the first step which was to be able to touch him etc without having to force myself came at five months. I can honestly say the feeling of overwhelming love is only just starting now he is 19 months. My youngest son six months, it has been happening it flashes in the last couple of weeks but an hour here and hour there.
It's there it's just the illness will not let you feel it. Don't punish yourself don't blame yourself, even if you can only bear to spend five mins a day singing, or reading a book, it will come.
Kat
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Post by juppster on Apr 13, 2011 8:13:12 GMT
Hi lovely I would say for me it didn't really happen until J was around 2...as Kat says i always felt protective of him but couldn't get that feeling that i thought i was supposed to feel. Remember everyone is different and as Kat says, the love is there its the illness that is preventing it coming through. Hopefully once the cbt starts to kick in properly you will start to get flashes of this love but don't put pressure on yourself..it will come in its own time xx
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Post by cazba11 on Apr 18, 2011 17:13:12 GMT
Hi All, Good to hear from you again and thanks for replying.I am having some good enough days which is great. I do get these flashes of love as you best described sometimes and sometimes not but thanks for reassuring me that it is normal...and should get better. It's great to hear that this gets better and its so nice to read your stories...I will be in touch... I am away without baby for a few days break so I am looking forward... Thanks again for all the help and posts
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Post by Weeble on Apr 18, 2011 19:32:54 GMT
enjoy your few days off you deserve it
Kat
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Post by Hopeful on Apr 18, 2011 20:26:03 GMT
Hi Cazba,
Enjoy the break , big hugs x
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Post by juppster on Apr 19, 2011 8:00:57 GMT
Lovely, enjoy the break, it is so deserved and so needed. Look forward to hearing all about it xx
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Post by monica on Apr 20, 2011 19:26:14 GMT
Enjoy your break - hope you get some rand r inx
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Post by cazba again on May 26, 2011 11:34:43 GMT
Hi girlies Long time!! All going ok here, my love for my baby is growing which is great....I still get the thoughts some days though and I was wondering if this is still normal that they would last this long. My wee one almost a year now...Feel good otherwise, eating, sleeping etc well. Thanks again and would appreciate your views on this one.
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Post by monica on May 26, 2011 20:20:27 GMT
Hi
Great to hear from you and that you are doing so well.
in answer to your qestion, i found it can take a while for thoughts or other certain symptoms to go, so there is nothing abnormal in that. I can see you are progressing brillinatly. In time a thought will pop into your head and you will bat it out straight away without even thinking!
monicax
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Post by cazba again on Jun 2, 2011 20:21:26 GMT
Hi there girls I was looking through the diaries, there are so many,any of them deal with bad thoughts... Thanks again
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Post by Weeble on Jun 3, 2011 6:19:12 GMT
I think many of us have or do suffer from bad thoughts, but I cant think of one that is specifically about them. Have you thought about starting a diary, I think mine like a virtual sofa where the girls can come and have a chat lol
Kat
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