frogface
Private Board (R) Member
Posts: 938
|
Post by frogface on Jan 30, 2017 11:50:46 GMT
It sounds like you've had a kind of breakthrough in understanding your own thoughts and feelings. That's probably vital in beginning to challenge them and change your own inner voice. Maybe next time you catch yourself being harsh you can imagine what you'd say to someone else and then say it to yourself.
|
|
|
Post by monica on Jan 30, 2017 18:07:42 GMT
HI how are you QR
I hope youre recovering from your illness. In an ideal world you'd take to your bed and stay there until you felt better whilst everyone was at your beck and call....in a perfect world!
It amazes (in a admiring kind of way) me how insightful you are and even though you feel dreadful you understand where your thoughts are coming from and why. Yes it's horrible to feel that disgust but you know why and that's half the battle believe me. It will truly aid recovery.
Onwards and upwards!
Monica
|
|
|
Post by brach24 on Jan 30, 2017 23:19:32 GMT
Love that we can help each other and am quite excited by your recent insights. It's horrific to hate your own body, to distrust it and blame it. I can see how much it underpins your lack of safe feeling to not even trust your own body. But the realisation that that's what's going on brings such freedom... you can now choose your response to those thoughts, you can think up the retorts that will batter them down (can I suggest these include how your body made and grew 3 new human beings that are going to shine light in this world!). The mental fight is a hard, long slog. But you know what you're up against now. You are such a warrior woman!! Keep on keeping on xx
|
|
|
Post by quantumrose on Feb 5, 2017 9:38:48 GMT
Still got a cold. It's been 10 days now, I must be run down because my immune system is not dealing well. I think it's caused this blip-feeling low, anxious. I've got a really sore throat and my tongue feels like its burnt?! Weird....I don't deal with unexplained physical symptoms well and I'm feeling unsafe and frightened. So fed up with the rollercoaster ride that is recovery. I found a councillor that does rewind technique for birth trauma. It all sounded great until the price. £150 for 1.5 hrs. And she said she could cure me in one session. Seems unlikely but hearing someone say that threw me into a flat spin! I can't afford that but a positive thing that came out of it is that I found an EMDR councellor at a local charity which is much more affordable. So I'm going to call on Monday and book an appointment. I hope there's something of me left after all this time!
|
|
|
Post by quantumrose on Feb 8, 2017 8:01:21 GMT
Not proud of myself this morning. Snapped at the children. Overwhelmed and unable to keep up with demands. Don't expect a reply for this I'm just off loading.
|
|
|
Post by brach24 on Feb 8, 2017 10:29:55 GMT
Just wanted to say... it's obviously not a regular thing given you're upset at yourself Over it. I think one of the most important things we can do for our kids is modelling how to deal with messing up. I have to say sorry to my kids lots and I think it's healthy that I explain parenting is hard and that I have limits, even when they're wee. They don't doubt I love them! But mistakes are ok in our house Hope you find your day gets easier and lighter... with fewer demands!! Did you call re the EMDR?? Sounds great! Xx
|
|
|
Post by monica on Feb 8, 2017 11:55:09 GMT
Wise words from Brach. We all do it - I too seem to spend slot of time apologising but life does get overwhelming. I went to confession for the first time in 18 years last week and actually cried because all my 'sins' involved me being horrible and impatient with the kids. I don't think I even realised how guilty I feel about it. The priest said exactly what Brach said and told me to have a piece of cake! You must do that too. You're an amazing mum! X
|
|
|
Post by brach24 on Feb 12, 2017 8:37:44 GMT
How's you? Xx
|
|
|
Post by quantumrose on Feb 12, 2017 9:20:25 GMT
Full on time of it. The baby isn't sleeping. She wakes all through the night, sometimes for an hour at a time. Often waking finally at 4am. I keep getting this cold back. I feel tired, achy and really run down. My daughter is anxious a lot and complains of various ailments (I think for attention because it's only when I'm paying attention to anyone else). So the baby cries when I'm not holding her and I think the kids are craving my attention more because of it. My best friend is moving from the road in a month and I'm scared that ill miss her very much. And last but almost most importantly, I had to talk to hubby about his drinking. He has a serious problem with alcohol. I know im overly sensitive to this because my dad was an addict but aside from this, I think it makes me more aware of the impact this can have on the children. No doubt alcohol is very different to morphine (which was my dads drug of choice) but that mentality still stands. He says he's tired all the time because he's up drinking till early in the morning. Sometimes he's woken when one of the kids wets the bed but on the whole he has a full nights sleep. And has done ever since the kids were born. So when I'm up all night feeding our third child after 7 years of broken sleep, hearing him say he's tired and falling asleep all afternoon at the weekend makes me sad and angry. I'm also worried about his health. I don't think he's allowing himself to think about how hard this is going to be but I am starkly aware of how horrible this is going to be. My dad was without his drug for periods and it was so utterly terrible for the whole family. Not least of which because there's no connection with that person, all they think about it the fact that they want that drug and how to get it. In the case of alcohol it's all too easy to find. I'm going to have to find the strength to help him with this-whilst exhausted, caring for the kids, breastfeeding, moving house annoy yo mention my own mental health difficulties. I feel my journey to recovery has been put on hold with this realisation. Also feeling like my periods are returning, having cramps and spotting but not proper period yet. I wish it would just arrive. I'm feeaking out about it because the last time I bled was after Daisy was born and I hemorrhaged. I know its different but it's going to be a trigger if nothing else. Ugh. Life eh? I so long for a good luck break x
|
|
|
Post by quantumrose on Feb 13, 2017 14:22:37 GMT
Really awful health anxiety today. Just so utterly fed up and feeling quite desperate to be honest. This cold is so grim :-( and my son and I both have a sore mouth as well, which is making me feel really anxious. I just feel miserable.
|
|
|
Post by monica on Feb 13, 2017 19:08:50 GMT
You're both really run down. I get sore mouth and gums when low - try rinsing with salt water .
You sound knavkered and run down - no wonder it's triggered health anxiety . Plus your husbands drinking is playing in your mind. Well done in tackling it head on. My ex had and had drink problems - it is a worry in so many levels . Is he willing to tackle it? There is support out there and be mindful he might need it. Also it's another source of stress for you. Look after yourself - were here for youx
|
|
|
Post by monica on Feb 13, 2017 19:08:55 GMT
You're both really run down. I get sore mouth and gums when low - try rinsing with salt water .
You sound knavkered and run down - no wonder it's triggered health anxiety . Plus your husbands drinking is playing in your mind. Well done in tackling it head on. My ex had and had drink problems - it is a worry in so many levels . Is he willing to tackle it? There is support out there and be mindful he might need it. Also it's another source of stress for you. Look after yourself - were here for youx
|
|
|
Post by quantumrose on Feb 14, 2017 13:51:28 GMT
Thank you xxx I'm going to post back here everyday until this blip and/or the cold passes. I feel like such a bad mum. The children have watched far too much telly since I've been ill. I feel like I'm neglecting them for not organising activitiesvfor them. We went out yesterday and this morning, now I feel so ill again :-( and they're just sat infront of the telly. Muddy thoughts and muddled feelings.
Happy valentines day awesome ladies xxx
|
|
|
Post by monica on Feb 14, 2017 17:58:22 GMT
Don't feel guilty! You're an amazing mum and you do so much. You need to let yourself heal - kids love the telly and it's a saving grace whilst you feel awful.
I did want to write the other day about you , your dad and your hubby. I don't think you realise your strength for coping through your dads issues. In your post you summed up the problems an addict whatever their addiction is, faces. My exs drink issues I think stem from partly his childhood partly his personality and I suspect in his early 20s became a coping mechanism whereby he felt comfortable , numb from problems once the drink kicked in. He really is a fantastic dad and everyone who knows him says he loves our kids so much and this is someone who really doesn't know how to love. Saying that even he's a responsible parent when it comes to the drink that need is ever increasing and he's prepared to get hammered in front of them. Sorry I've gone on about me, but the fact remains you've broken the mould and have grown into a strong , kind intelligent woman with remarkable insight into your self and others. Xx
|
|
|
Post by monica on Feb 14, 2017 17:59:07 GMT
Happy Valentines Day to you toox
|
|