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Post by kmum on Apr 24, 2014 22:53:59 GMT
Well that all sounds good. I agree with Monica on the CBT. I found it a lifesaver and still use the techniques every week. Seeing him tomorrow actually and always look forward to it as gets me on right track for week ahead!
Hope you have brill birthday but I also felt same with regards to thinking my little boy was gonna think I'm useless. I felt I'd let him down and that he could see my pain. But actually now I'm getting better I can see how wrong and completely warped that was!!! Hopefully the increased meds will help you think clearer and you will realise that literally no matter what, your child will not only need but also want you in their life. You are mummy full stop. Give yourself time to get better and you can make up for the past. My therapist asked me a few weeks ago how much more time I was gonna waste worrying about the past instead of enjoying my baby now!!!! As hard hitting as it was to hear...it did make me realise and iv def appreciated him so much more and find it a little easier to be mummy :-)
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Post by RaspberryBeret on Apr 25, 2014 17:06:55 GMT
I saw my psychologist today who has set me some homework of drawing up an achievement timetable for the week. Of course I am already worrying about not achieving the achievements. Today has been frustrating as I woke up feeling pants and my mood has been low all day. I had such a good day yesterday and am upset that I can plummet so quickly. Does anyone else have experience of these massive mood swings?
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Post by kmum on Apr 25, 2014 21:16:14 GMT
Yep! When started feeling bit better I had few great normal type days but then a few real bad so it's normal
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Post by monica on Apr 27, 2014 16:04:20 GMT
Hi
Mood swings are very common with pni and with some people can happen several times a day especially ! Hopefully as meds kick in things will smoothen out. It's very frustrating and tiring being up then down etc.
Try not to worry about the homework if u can. It's not there to judge u. Maybe do it pm so u can reflect in the day and even if u feel really pants there will always be something positive to write sboutx
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Post by kmum on Apr 28, 2014 22:23:47 GMT
I just read the bit about the homework again and had a giggle! At myself!
I got the same achievement timetable to complete a few weeks ago and remember completely having panic attack as forgot to fill in my comparison scores (Achievement, Closeness and Enjoyment) before my next session! So I sat in the car and did them in like 5 mins before going in!!! I just know he knew I had only just done them!
Last week I told him I'd forgotten my diary/timetable lol!!! What am I like eh!!!
But when u do it and they explain it well it actually does work!
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Post by RaspberryBeret on Apr 29, 2014 20:31:32 GMT
Had a really good day yesterday and got loads of things done that I often find hard like going to the supermarket and seeing friends. Today more challenging as mood has dipped again. Thinking that it could be because I have my period. This is the first time in about ten months as one of the pills I was prescribed stopped them. Does anyone else find their anxiety rockets at this time?
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Post by monica on Apr 30, 2014 16:48:04 GMT
Hi
Hope ur feeling better . Pmt is a common trigger for blips even if u have never suffered from it before .
Well done on doing stuff out of ur comfort zone - that is really brilliant!
Monica
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Post by kmum on Apr 30, 2014 20:02:22 GMT
Yes my period sent me haywire so totally sympathise. It will pass. Try get plenty if sleep :-)
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Post by RaspberryBeret on May 1, 2014 14:56:30 GMT
Have been trying to combine taking easy with keeping busy. Getting quite anxious as Felix is coming to stay for a week. Get very upset with myself that I don't feel excited about his visit. He is such a good boy and shouldn't have a mum with mental health problems. He has never howled all day or been excessively ill. It is just my mind that has gone wrong. Saw my care coordinator today who reminds me that I must praise myself for the progress that I have made instead of beating myself up. An all too common problem with me.
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Post by monica on May 1, 2014 15:25:28 GMT
Hey you are a great mum and its this illness that is causing the anxiety. It's no reflection on u as a person. So agree with pni we are programmed to think negatively and often ignore our achievements. Have u got anything planned with Felix? I'm sure you'll have a great week. Do try to rest as looking after a child can be tiring no matter how good they are and tiredness can bring on anxietyx
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Post by RaspberryBeret on May 2, 2014 17:03:59 GMT
Thank you for your advice which I shall try to implement over the next week. Had appt with psychologist today who made some good suggestions about managing anxiety. Do hope I can take time to enjoy being with my son rather than panicking and self loathing. Feel very vulnerable.
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Post by monica on May 4, 2014 10:06:40 GMT
How are you? When does ur son arrive? X
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Post by quantumrose on May 4, 2014 20:11:08 GMT
Hi Berry, how are you? Sorry you've been feeling vulnerable, it's not a nice feeling at all. Are you feeling any better? xx
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Post by RaspberryBeret on May 4, 2014 21:51:55 GMT
So Felix has been here since yesterday and we have had a lovely time so far. He is such a good little boy and hopefully unaffected by the fact he has a poorly mummy. I have struggled with my anxiety levels at times but have been trying to be mindful.
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Post by monica on May 4, 2014 22:24:07 GMT
Well done RB! Glad ur having a great time. I hope this gives you lots of confidence as a mum - and you are a fantastic one doing a great jobx
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