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Post by monica on Jun 21, 2016 20:05:21 GMT
Thank you - we all had a lovely day and went into London (his choice). How are you doing?x
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Post by Kirsty on Jun 22, 2016 11:45:19 GMT
Awh that sounds lovely. Yeah I'm ok thank you. Are you feeling better? X
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Post by Kirsty on Jun 27, 2016 9:42:27 GMT
How are you Monica? X
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Post by monica on Jun 28, 2016 12:51:19 GMT
Hi
How are you? Out of the blip? All good with me thanks. Did a 50 m bike ride so my knees were sore yesterday but better today. It was tough though! X
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Post by Kirsty on Jun 28, 2016 13:51:50 GMT
Bloody hell Monica, good for you! I bet it was tough! Glad you're ok! Coming out of it slowly thank you! Doing better than I was. Blips are horrid aren't they xx
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Post by Kirsty on Jun 30, 2016 9:30:20 GMT
Iv started seeing a Hypnotherepist now too. I'm trying everything possible even reiki too. I'm Hoping someone up there will see how hard I'm trying and give me a break and take this illness AWAY for good!!!!!!
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Post by monica on Jun 30, 2016 14:08:25 GMT
Blips are nasty - they can throw you for six especially after a good spell but in time they'll get less intense, shorter and you'll to deal with them better. They are also a sign you're recovering ...
Great you're so positively charged ! Let us know how you get on. I had odd physical ailments and tried an osteopath which did nothing but I found acupuncture very helpful.
I tried reiki last year for the first time (my sister goes regularly and I can see the difference). I must say I'm not a complete sceptic but I need to see the reason why something works and I couldn't quite get my head round how someone's hands and energy can do anything . However during my first session she said quite a few things that were true - I get everything done that I need to but feel v stressed as I'm continuously rushing and chasing my tail. She mentioned I'm quite forgetful and always losing my keys and that if I was ready for a relationship (I'd split up with my BF after 15yrs) I would meet someone. Well I did meet someone and bizarrely enough I stopped losing my keys and would arrive somewhere several mins early - not like me at all.
I went for my second session as is split up with the guy I'd been seeing for 5 months and felt awful - about parting and it hugely knocked my confidence so I felt crap about myself. Also the split triggered v bad anxiety again. After the session the anxiety disappeared the next day - I was still sad and v upset but the permanent knot in my stomach had gone.
Sorry I've gone on about myself! Good luck x
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Post by Kirsty on Jun 30, 2016 19:03:42 GMT
Do not apologise for talking about yourself, I like to hear from you and your stories. that's so good to know what it worked for you Monica, I'm prepared to try anything and I'm same as you, I'm not a compete sceptic but find it hard to understand that too. I'm really looking forward to starting it and also to start my hypnotherapy treatment! (Very expensive though, just hope it works) I just want to get on with life again. I'm so fed up of all this negativity in my life. Interesting that blips are a sign of recovery. Hard to understand but I trust what you are saying. Much love xx
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Post by monica on Jun 30, 2016 20:08:54 GMT
Some knowledgeable psychiatrist (I forget who) said the blips are a differentiating factor between depression and PNI. It's a common trajectory of recovery to improve then dip improve then dip and so on. Saying that the reality is the dips are tough and hard work but as long as you're improving overall it's a positive sign of recovering (I'm not an expert - this is just from experience on here).
You sound like such a positive person - you will recover! X
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Post by Kirsty on Jun 30, 2016 21:48:11 GMT
Awh thank you, I'm trying to be as positive as I can! How do you know when your recovered?? Xx
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Post by Kirsty on Jul 8, 2016 5:13:16 GMT
Hello, having a down day today. We are away in Bournemouth for a cheer weekend (my sister is a coach and my niece is an athlete) I love these weekends usually but just feel down in the dumps today. Iv spent some time away from my baby the last 2 days as I had a day of appointments on Wednesday and we were travelling down yesterday and when we got here my mum took baby and I went over to Sainsbury's for a stretch. It took me back to before I had her and I enjoyed the time away, I then started to feel like well I must not want her and I must be happier when she isn't around and here we go with the guilt and anxiety. Now I'm finding it hard to connect to her again. Is this me or the illness?? I forgot my meds as well last night due to not being in my routine and baby brain (I swear my mind isn't what it used to be) I have just taken them now as in a little panicked about not taking them. I used to be such a bubbly excitable person and now I'm not! Now I don't even know my own feelings, am anxious or excited? Do I love her or hate her? Do I want her or not? Do I love my husband or not? Am I happy or sad today? Urgh! So fed up of all the uncertainty and the questions. Why has this happened to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Will I ever be true love you happy Again? Will I ever just be able to get on with life again? So bloody frustrated as you can probably tell. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Kirsty on Jul 8, 2016 5:14:53 GMT
That was meant to say will I ever be truely happy again? Bloody phone!!!!
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Post by monica on Jul 8, 2016 14:00:06 GMT
Hi
You do love your daughter and your husband . It's PNI playing havoc with how you feel as well as putting doubts into your mind.
It's normal (although guilt inducing ) to feel a yearning for a time before baby when you felt well and confident and happy. This has been an awful time for you with PNI. I used to feel the same too when I was ill . Also you're in a place you used to really enjoy so now feeling quite right and comparing is hard.
You won't be saddled with this illness forever - it's early days and you're doing really well. It's extremely frustrating as all you want is to be better and enjoy life and your family. Try and focus on enjoying little things - glass of wine , and there's nothing wrong with enjoying a bit of me time - in fact it's healthyx
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Post by Kirsty on Jul 8, 2016 20:14:00 GMT
I feel I don't deserve it Monica. I hurt Sophia today by accident, I caught her skin on her leg in the buckle of her car seat. I just cried and cried. She was fine after a minute or so. Just feel so bloody guilty. I hate this. I just said to my mum, what if I don't have PNI what it it's just me? How do I definitely know it's PNI? Do you know what I mean. It's been nearly 4 months surely I should be getting somewhere!!!! Argh!! Sorry for going on x
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Post by monica on Jul 8, 2016 21:04:51 GMT
Think back to how you were a couple of months ago - you are making progress. It isn't you - if you were a parent who couldn't give a toss about your child you would be worrying and stressing about whether you love her or not! You are a fantastic mum and doing a great job - honestly. You're having a crappy day so that's why the doubts have crept back in but they will pass!
Hey everyone occasionally hurts their child accidentally - I trapped all three of my kids fingers in the door or boot of car - how bad is that! You do deserve treats incl time to yourself . I don't know what you do/did work wise but imagine doing that job 15 hrs a day without a break - how would you feel? Fed up, bored, exhausted . It's exactly the same with motherhood - so have that solo breather to recharge your batteries x
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