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Post by tabbysmum on Jun 10, 2008 14:14:34 GMT
Hi all,
Had a bit of a wobble yesterday after posting all my positive feelings in my diary - sods law I suppose. The heights/bridges thing kicked in for me big time (triggered by driving over a motorway bridge) and I couldn't get the thought out of my head that some invisible force was going to make me get in my car and do something awful. Felt anxious all evening and to make matters worse my lo decided she was going to play up and didn't go to sleep until getting on for midnight, but still managed to be awake at the crack of dawn this morning! I felt anxious when I got up and was worried about getting in the car to take lo to nursery but I managed. Went to see my counsellor today and she's really pleased with the progress I've made. I told her how my harm thoughts are very random and I can and do have awful thoughts about anything and everything, she said I've very over sensitive to danger and that's what's causing that, which I'd sort of figured out myself so was glad she said it. She said the bridges thought is worse because I have that phobia anyway so I'm going to find that one harder to kick, she also said that no matter how scared I am, there is no invisible or magic force that will make me do anything awful - I wont. I mentioned the news incident which seems to have triggered so many of us and she said that the lady in question was psychotic and had been sectioned and I had no mental health worries in that respect so not to worry. I'm not seeing her now for 6 weeks, we decided to stretch it out so I can see how I cope without having her to cling to and she can better gauge how well (or not) I'm doing. I'm not feeling as twitchy today so hopefully things are calming down again.
Thinking of all you lovely ladies.
take care
TM x
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Post by Scarlet on Jun 10, 2008 14:51:10 GMT
Hiya TM, A while back (long before PNI) I had a bit of a fear about crossing bridges. I think it stemmed from getting stuck on Humber Bridge once, can't really remember. When we went to Paris I walked over loads of Bridges and my heart went into my mouth the first few times and I wouldn't venture near the edge, but I manage to cross them, same with driving over them. Since then I have crossed many bridges and walked over bridges that span motorways by forcing myself...I have no fear now at all really, and this was something not connected to PNI, but obviously it was there big time when I was suffering. You can do it as well hun, perhaps take someone with you for some moral support whilst you are driving over a bridge, maybe you'll need to drive over the same bridge 20 times or so until this fear is gone hun. Promise you by the 20th time, the fear has gone. Seems daunting, and prolly you are getting anxious at me suggesting this, but I think it'll work. Your therapist is right, you are coming on fine... Hope your twitchiness has gone. Hugs xxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 10, 2008 17:38:39 GMT
Hi TM,
Your counsellor sounds fab!! Can you share her??
i have to say that I have had a bridge thing my whole life and have always freaked out going over them with the odd thought of `what if', so I know its pretty awful! It will calm down soon hun, and your counsellor is right - you are doing really well!!
Must have reassured you to hear her tell you about the lasy who was sectioned? I know it upset many people and it is hard to see what an isolated incident this ladies was.
Hope your day has been ok mate??
WG x
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Post by cokey on Jun 10, 2008 18:08:12 GMT
Hi L
Gosh don't know how (foggy head) but I missed the bit your counsellor said about that lady, thats so reassuring. I am so like you in my thoughts and I think she is so right about having an over sensitive sense of danger. I know I have that and always have. Never been one for fairground rides, driving fast etc anyway, so she is right its just kicked in so bad now.
I think you are doing marvellously and it won't be long before, very sadly for me, you wont come on here very often.
Cokey xxx
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Post by tabbysmum on Jun 10, 2008 19:34:37 GMT
Ah Cokey, that's really sweet, unfortunately you wont get rid of me that easily - who else can I complain to about Ed! As awful as all this has been I feel I've made some really good friends - for life, and I don't want to lose them.
xxx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 10, 2008 20:19:01 GMT
Hi TM
Thats such a lovely thing to say! I am on my 3rd glass of vino so that has just out a tear in my eye! Bless you babes! Glad you arent going anywhere in a hurry - we would miss you too much!!!
Hope you are having a nice evening mate x
WG xx
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Post by tabbysmum on Jun 12, 2008 21:36:07 GMT
Hi all,
Just a quick hello before I disappear off to bonnie Scotland! Been really busy with work hence not been on the forum much. Feeling ok, a bit anxious about the weekend but am looking forward to it as well. Had a clothes crisis as I couldn't decide which dress to wear to the wedding and then checked the weather forecast tonight for Saturday and it's cold and raining, so ended up going out and impulse buying some trousers and a top but I'm passed caring. I've only just finished work, I've still got my packing to finish and the house is like a shit tip - oh yes, and Ed is reclining as usual so that isn't helping my mood! I'm taking my laptop with me in the hope that I can log on wirelessly so you may be hearing from me yet.
Hope you're all doing ok, especially Cokey and JM.
take care ladies
TM x
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Post by Scarlet on Jun 12, 2008 22:09:21 GMT
TM,
Have a great time in Scotland, and don't take that tape hun, you won't need it...
Speak to you when you get back, or before if you get chance.
xxxx
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Post by cokey on Jun 13, 2008 8:48:04 GMT
Have a great time L, you will have a great time.
C xx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 13, 2008 12:41:11 GMT
Have a LOVELY time TM!! Will be thinking of you and look forward to hearing all about it xx
Love WG x
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Post by justme31 on Jun 15, 2008 8:45:36 GMT
Hi TM just wanted to say have a great time. xxx
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Post by tabbysmum on Jun 16, 2008 22:14:08 GMT
Hi all,
Well I'm back from Scotland and have survived the experience without too much stress or anxiety. The hotel was absolutely gorgeous and my room was lovely, and had safety windows so I felt instantly relaxed - for about an hour! My room was by the stairs and the height thing kicked in and was a bit unpleasant but I coped. Tabitha had diarrhea on the morning we left and literally shit on everything all weekend - including me and my cousin! On the first night the fire alarm went off at 11:45 and Tabitha screamed the place down for about 2 hours and then was up at stupid o'clock so I was knackered. Went to the wedding the next day which was ok (bitch mode kicking in!) but Tabby once again decided bedtime was for screaming and kept it up well into the early hours - which isn't like her. Then the usual drunken rabble were up and down the corridor all night so another night with no sleep. I felt quite odd by the Sunday because apart from sleeping I hadn't really been on my own with the lo, I think the family thought they had to stay with me at all times, even to the point of coming round at 6 in the morning as soon as they heard her cry. I felt quite detached and almost like she wasn't my baby which freaked me a little bit. Today's been good though, booked today off work to do the washing etc (how the other half live eh!) and was planning on taking Tabby to nursery as normal but she's still got an upset stomach so she stayed at home and it was nice. Ed's on lates this week so we went out for tea with my son and I've been busy so not had time to brood or worry to any great degree - so far so good!
Hope you ladies are ok - or at the very least coping, thinking of you all.
Take care
TM x
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Post by winegirl on Jun 17, 2008 7:07:45 GMT
Hi TM
Glad the trip to Scotland went ok babes x Sorry LO has been poorly - I guess that on top of being somewhere different would have upset her routine.
I am glad you have been managing to battle the thoughts away hun, you are doing soooo well, you really have come a long way.
Take Care
WG xx
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Post by Scarlet on Jun 17, 2008 7:31:46 GMT
Hiya TM,
You did great hun, and it will get easier as time passes. Ooooo sorry about the diahorrea though, what a day to start with the runs LOL... Kids eh! who'd have em?
Glad you managed to have a day off work to get yourself sorted. Hope you managed to relax a bit, are you back at work today.
Hows Tabby? any better? How you feeling today hun
xxx
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Post by sianyc on Jun 17, 2008 13:30:27 GMT
Nice break then - NOT. I hate clearing up poo - anything else but poo uurrgghh
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