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Post by rocker on Sept 6, 2008 20:25:41 GMT
arrrrrghhh had an essay typed up here and the pc lost it grrrrrrr lol!
today has been a nightmare, she is in full ordering mode, every conversation is the same 5 things she wants done repeated time and time again, 3 years on its not funny, she even mentioned trying to have #2 next year...........I was like HOW? we don't even do anything in that dept, is this the immaculate conecption? I've felt like exploding on a couple of occassions with the constant repeated requests, same 5 things all blooming day...................
WG a gofer is right, with built in baby making facilities as and when required..........
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Post by winegirl on Sept 7, 2008 9:46:10 GMT
Rocker I am so sorry... I dont know how you manage to deal with this. Perhaps exploding is what you need to do so that your wife understands what all this is doing to you!
You do so well to keep patient, I know I couldnt have...
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Post by rocker on Sept 8, 2008 8:02:23 GMT
weekend was just a nightmare, we went to a Christening yesterday - one which she only told me about on SATURDAY!!!! Its not as if it was someone I didn't know it was 2 of our best friends, apparently the invite has been in for weeks! grrrrr................when we came home I ended up going and watching TV upstairs becauce all she could talk about was keeping the house tidy and would I do this and that...at one point when LO was out of the way I ended up screaming at her that it had been 3 years, in 3 years time I would be 40, would we still be stuck at the same place................HOWEVER.......it transpires that about 3 weeks ago when I forced her to go to a BBQ our best friends were having, apparently she apologised to her 2 "best friends" told them she realised she hadn't done anything to stay in touch, her pni was really bad, she wasn't taking any medication and she knew I was getting the brunt of it..................but still nothing has changed and shes not making the effort to...................but at least that was a little tiny ray of hope if she can actually see that what she is doing wrong..........I deliberately didn't have anything to drink at the Christening party because I know she has been pushing me to my limit and who knows where me drinking would have led..........but at least the LO had a great time playing with all the other kids.....sometimes its a relief to be in work lol!
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Post by winegirl on Sept 8, 2008 8:06:48 GMT
Hi Rocker
I think if your wife can see what this PNI is doing to her then there is definately hope. The fact that she knows she isnt helping herself by not taking meds is also a good start. At least you know that she can see where things are going wrong...
Know what you mean about being at work, think the reason i work full time is for a bit of a b reak!!
WG x
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Post by sianyc on Sept 9, 2008 9:23:20 GMT
Wohoo she can she what she's doing and admitting it! That may not sound like much but it really is a big deal. At least if she can see what she's doing then it means she's 'seeing the light' so to speak. I was a long way into recovering before I could actually speak to G about how I'd been treating him. We went out last week and I think it was the first time he'd said how I really was and things I was doing as recently as 4-5 months ago. Some of the things I hadn't, even now, realised I had been doing! Silly things like disappearing to read my book as soon as he got in from work and appearing only when the kids had been bathed. Then doing the same when I got in from work on the day he has them. I know I was doing that because I felt I couldn't cope and would just get angry if they misbehaved or had had enough of them during the day. The trouble is that I didn't tell him that, just buggered off and he was too wary of upsetting me to say anything. That's a mild example I know but sums it up for us I think. I'm NEVER having another child - got the two and not sure we could survive it to be honest
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Post by rocker on Sept 9, 2008 12:00:30 GMT
sianyc - a lot of that stuff went/goes on in our house, it used to be as soon as I came home she disappeared, still goes on a bit but not as much, she still buggers off but I'm past the point of not saying anything lol! now she gets told exactly when it happens! may sound harsh but she is pushing me to my limits and as I said in a previous post, it almost cost me my job last year - I've given her the option, make an effort and I'll help/back off a bit, but the softly softly approach hasn't worked, trying to get her help hasn't worked, there aren't many options left...............
it appears she got a repeat script for her meds yesterday, I only know this as our LO handed me the sealed packet in the car last night as she'd forgot to take them out ("mummys sore throat tablets" lol! )now I just need to figure out is she serious about taking them or is she fooling the doctor again by ordering the repeat scripts when the others are supposed to have run out
as much as I'd love a brother/sister for our LO I don't think I could hack another 3-5 years of this with 2 kids on the go, our LO is great, he's easy to look after, I couldn't take the risk of having to go through all the sleepeless nights etc with a new baby and still have her like this or worse..................
.......its not even from my point of view - I want her to get better for her, she should be enjoying this time with our LO, not depressed, stressed out, paranoid all the time...............its just so frustrating that she won't actually try to help herself, if she'd try I could be more helpful...........
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Post by winegirl on Sept 10, 2008 8:06:53 GMT
Hi Rocker
Did you find out if she was actually taking her meds??
How are things today?? You are doing so well to deal with all this, but have you thought about getting some help for yourself too while all this is going on?
WG xx
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Post by rocker on Sept 12, 2008 9:02:33 GMT
WG - I phoned the doc to ask why or how she'd got them if he told me before he wouldn't issue them without seeing her, all he would confirm is he hasn't seen her in months but decided since they were so busy down there he would let it fly but he says he has now marked it as no more to be given without seeing him first. I asked her was she taking them, she said no, I said take one now, I'll help you lets get started, which was met with "oh they're upstairs I've just come down, can't be bothered going up again".....so I went up and got them, and I found the packet she got 6 months ago that she didn't take, so I brought them down and gave her one, I forgot this morning but when I go home tonight I'm gonna make sure she takes one - I told her I'd try to help her remember them, but if she gives me one bit of abuse about not telling her what to do she can forget about it. I dread to think how much shes spent on prescriptions and never actually taken the tablets, I'd say over 2 years it'd be well over £100
yeah I've thought about me, I actually meant to ask the doc when I was on the phone about the helpline numbers for partners he had, see how it goes, at least I know I always have that option. We're out tonight for a concert, some friends have come over from London for the weekend, but she's refusing to go out tomorrow night with them, but at least if she's out tonight it'll be a change of scene...............hopefully this weekend will be far better than last!
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Post by winegirl on Sept 12, 2008 9:53:55 GMT
Fingers crossed for your weekend rocker x
You are doing brilliantly to bring her tablets to her everyday. Once she starts feeling an improvement she will feel more inclined to go and get her own meds and stick to them. I know these days missing a tablet would be devastating for me!!
Hope you manage to have a good night tonight pal x
WG xx
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joannem
Senior Member
joannem mum of one little boy born Jan 2006
Posts: 314
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Post by joannem on Sept 16, 2008 23:06:58 GMT
Hi Rocker Sorry to crash in your post like this, I feel for you and your partner, my little one is coming up to 3 years of age and to imagine you living with PND in your family for this length of time must be a nightmare. If you look in the support section on here you can look up House of Light, we have the facility where you can speak to another father (our partners) who helped us through our illness'. or you can speak to us. You need an outlet for your feelings too, taking it out on each other doesnt help either one of you, it is understandable though, because you need the patience of a saint with PND! Has your partner (or yourself) considered counselling? I get the feeling she isnt that keen on the meds? If you want info etc please get in touch. Jo
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Post by rocker on Sept 19, 2008 7:26:28 GMT
Jo thanks for the info, I'll have a look at it later. Fingers crossed she may have seen the light, she's been back on the meds for a week, with me standing with the tablets every morning, but she seems to realise now that its our son who is more important than either of us, so she's been more active with him, in so far as going out of the house to places, and it looks like she's managed to get him a place in a small nursery run by the local church because she now realises he needs company his own age, not to be with her all day........this is a big improvement in the last week, I just hope it continues and I'm not speaking too soon!.............
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Post by winegirl on Sept 19, 2008 9:33:34 GMT
Hi Rocker
All sounds promising, keeping my fingers crossed for you guys and sending you all love (()). You know where we are...
WG x
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Post by rachelk on Nov 5, 2008 18:26:21 GMT
Hi there, What a wonderful man you are! I have just read through this thread and can't believe it. You should publish a book - PNI from a Man's Point of View. My hubbie would have bought it!
You are a rock (rocker LOL). I can't believe it.
Take care mate
Rachx
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Post by rocker on Nov 10, 2008 11:25:05 GMT
thanks for the kind words rachelk, wouldn't say I'm anythings pecial just trying to regain some normality round our house lol!!
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Post by winegirl on Nov 10, 2008 11:31:42 GMT
Hope things are improving for you guys rocker??
WG x
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