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Post by Bookwormprincess on Jul 29, 2009 21:42:20 GMT
Hi Nicola, Thanks so much for writing in my thread. I've seen some of your comments on facebook and no-one would know you weren't coping brilliantly with pregnancy and a toddler. Sorry to hear about the antenatal depression, that's tough. I'm worried about that too - I'm sure I had a touch of that in the last few weeks of my pregnancy although I just put the tears down to hormones and being fed-up of being pregnant at that stage. My GP wants me to remain on anti-depressants whilst trying to conceive and throughout pregnancy and she says the drug I'm on is safe. It's still hard though isn't it the thought of subjecting your babe to drugs in utero. What one are you on now?
I too plan to breastfeed only for 2 days so babe gets the collustrum. That's all I did for my son because of the PP coming on and being in a lot of pain physically from my fibromylagia flare. I found breastfeeding quite hard too, and bottle feeding can be lovely too so I don't mind doing it that way. I think you're wise to do it that way so you can share night feeds etc. I've been told it's crucial that I get good sleep in the first 2 weeks postpartum.
I can identify with that panic you have, even though I am not pregnant. Just the thought that I might be gives me butterflies in an anxious kind of way, despite wanting it and planning for it. If I do get pregnant I will have to deal with my anxiety about what will happen once baby is born, otherwise that anxiety in itself could pose a problem mentally.
I'm so glad you have a good support network. My parents are really my only support, and I feel quite isolated. I don't drive so visiting friends is often difficult, plus I don't know that many Mums really. My son can go to preschool at 2 1/2 if he's potty trained so that will help.
We've been pretty relaxed this month about conceiving, although I decided to chart my temperature to see if I ovulate like I used to. I'm glad I did as it's way later than before - I wonder if your cycle gets messed up after baby no. 1 or if it was the drugs I was on (they stopped my periods completely for 16 months). Anyway, I should know if I'm pregnant a week Saturday. If it happens this time I'll be amazed, and I just reason the longer it takes the older my son will be which will make things easier all round. How long did it take you to conceive?
Take care, and can't wait to hear all about the birth and how you feel afterwards. I so hope it all goes smoothly for you. x
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Post by nicola1712 on Jul 30, 2009 19:00:39 GMT
Well you sound pretty sorted in your head about it so far! My LO is starting pre school in September too so that will be one free afternoon I have with baby - once I have braved it enough to actually leave her there! Glad you have your parents to help you - they could perhaps have LO one day a week to give you some rest time while pregnant and a baby day when he/she is here - we are trying to plan something like that in for us. I really wanted to be pregnant when I took the test but when it said yes I absolutely crapped myself as well!! Just the thoughts of the extra work, stress, worries, tiredness, guilt and so on.....but everyone I know who has more than one says it is also double the fun. I try and focus now on how my LO will have a friend/ally for life, how she will learn to share and comprimise. My DH is an only child and hated his childhood - he said he was just so bored and doesn't want that for his child. He has no concept of a brother or sister so it will be fun watching him deal with thier sibling rivalries! And fun for me to see if they are like me and my brother! I think the anxieties come with the hormones as well - I was 15 weeks pregnant when we realised I just wasn't stopping crying and that it couldn't be just hormones so that's when I went back to the docs. I had been on Citalopram which was working great bu the doc took me off them once I was pregnant. When I went back they put me on Fluoxetine which they said is the safest one for pregnancy - but weirdly not breastfeeding so they said if I want to breastfeed they will change it again once baby is born. I hated the fact I was taking drugs while pregnant and I spent three days going round in circles with guilt until DH said well if I don't take them I am a mess and if I do, they are safe and I will be happier. The docs have said I will have to stay in hospital a few days once he is born as he will get withdrawal symptoms (restless and irritable) for a bit and they will want to monitor us both. However I am on such a low dose they have also said it is so diluted by the time it gets to him that it shouldn't be too bad when he isn't getting it. So it is my mission to stay on a low dose! With my first baby we conceived the first time and only did it once that month (when I knew I was ovulating - I get pains and discharge so kinda know...) and I was welll shocked - as was DH. We did not believe it would be that easy second time round but shockingly it was - well we did it more often that time but it still only took a month. I realise how lucky we were (DH thinks he is Mr Fertility) but also how dangerous it could be in future when we don't actually want anymore children and accidents can happen! Think I will get him snipped! Good luck for Saturday and very exciting wating to find out. Will keep everything crossed for you, but like you say plenty of time and practice yet if not - my DH was most put out that he didn't get much practice in! xxx
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sazzythom
Full member
Sufferer and Mummy to Kezia and Micah
Posts: 84
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Post by sazzythom on Jul 31, 2009 21:16:40 GMT
Hi Bookwormprincess
How are you doing?? Are you going to do a test on saturday or just wait and see? I'm about half way through my cycle so i feel like a rabbit at the moment. I really want another child but sometime the whole having sex at the right time is a real pain. I'm on quite a lot of meds still but have been reasured that they are safe for the pregnacy but as yours are not safe for breast feeding. I really want to try and do it this time even if its just expressing. I'm with you on the whole test thing. I really want it to say positive but theres part of me thats relieved thats its negative but also dissapointment. Oh such a rollecoaster of emotions
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Post by winegirl on Aug 2, 2009 11:06:49 GMT
And since it is Sunday do you have an update for us mate...
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Aug 10, 2009 13:47:49 GMT
Hi everyone, Well my period came on the Tuesday so I didn't have to wait till Saturday or test at all. My cycle was 27 days but as I'd ovulated late I thought my cycle would be longer like 31 days (14 days past ovulation). It's a bit messed up since I went on anti-pyschotics.
I was quite disappointed since I'd been having dreams while asleep that I was pregnant, and it would have been so nice for it to have worked the first month. But it wasn't meant to be this time.
My husband wants us to take a break for a month to reasses if we are actually ready for baby 2 yet or whether we should wait longer, so Ellis is a bit older. We agree that we want another child but he's more hesitant about the timing than me - I'm a bit impatient about it now.
So we won't be trying again for at least a month, although I'm still going to keep an eye on my cycle to see whether it will get back to normal.
Nicola, you were very lucky conceiving so quickly both times! I'm not surprised you're thinking about the snip in that case.
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sazzythom
Full member
Sufferer and Mummy to Kezia and Micah
Posts: 84
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Post by sazzythom on Aug 10, 2009 18:06:07 GMT
Hi bookworm princess
so sorry to hear it didn't happen for you this month. I'm currently 3 days late but i'm terrified to do a test cos if its neg then i'll be gutted. Like you i don't have much patience and i really want it to positive.
Are you pleased to be having the month off or is it a bit of a sore point. I know from my husband that hes really relaxed about it all but i'm so wanting it to happen but he just doesn't seem to understand.
I guess that we just have to wait for it to happen don't we?
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Aug 10, 2009 18:27:44 GMT
I'd rather not have a month off to be honest as I just want it to happen soon. but I can understand why my husband wants us to think about it more carefully.
Oooh, exciting that you are late! Take a test, take a test! How long have you been trying so far?
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Post by nicola1712 on Aug 10, 2009 19:44:30 GMT
Sorry it didn't happen this month for you - I can imagine how frustrating it must be cos when I took the test I was petrified it would be negative. If hubby needs to wait another month then give him that time. In the long term it is only a month - I wanted to start trying about three months before hubby did at one stage but he said no so I left it and he came round and ended up more keen than me!! Enjoy the practising in the meantime xxx
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Aug 10, 2009 20:56:12 GMT
Thanks Nicola. A month isn't very long in the scheme of things so I'll try and be patient.
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Post by nicola1712 on Aug 11, 2009 19:00:22 GMT
Yeah not easy though I know!
xx
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Aug 18, 2009 14:06:00 GMT
Well, hubbie and I have talked it over and we have decided that we shouldn't go all out trying for another baby until he has a secure job. Currently he's a supply primary teacher which means we don't know how much work he'll have from one month to the next.
But on the other hand, we're not going to do anything to stop it happening in the meantime because we really do want another baby and it seems wrong to use birth control somehow. Which is fine by me since I am really broody! My son is now in a big boy bed as of Sunday night and the cot is empty, which makes me really want a baby in there soon. It's funny how I can be all rosy about what it wil be like with the next baby when it was such a nightmare with my first as I was ill with PP practically straight after delivery. I need to be more realistic I think, although it feels nice to imagine how it would be it everything went smoothly in my life for once. I seem to have stopped worrying so much about getting PP again which is nice, although I'm sure those fears will resurface if/when I do fall pregnant.
I don't think I will fall pregnant though until we make an effort to actively try, since we are so tired most nights nothing is happening to make a baby. Plus my cycle is still messed up and I can't tell when I'm ovulating at the moment.
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Post by nicola1712 on Aug 18, 2009 19:19:50 GMT
Well, you never know - it is often when people relax about these things that it ends up happening, cos the pressure is off a bit.... Nice that you are taking it easy though and don't stress about the PNI thing again - they have monitored me sooooo closely this time round cos I had it with LO and been really good with me so I haven't been too worried. They have also said that I will be watched closely in hospital and the first few weeks after which is nice. Just makes you feel bit more supported......plus all my family know about it now too and are watching out for it as well. Don't get a minute to myself!! As for having another one - two of my friends who have recently had their second have said it is less stressful second time cos you are more confident (more tiring though cos you can't kip as often with a toddler around!) and less neurotic about the baby. Fingers crossed that is true for me too.... Well done on the big boy bed thing - my LO is going in as of a couple of weeks once her room is done so hopefully it will go smoothly! xxx
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Aug 19, 2009 12:51:54 GMT
Hi Nicola, yeah it would be nice if it happened while we were being relaxed about it, although missed our chance this month as I now think I ovulated a few days ago and since we've both been too tired nothing happened around that time or before. Oh well, I guess there is no hurry. I am glad you are being monitored closely and that your family are all aware. I guess it could feel a bit claustrophobic but it is much better than being left on your own at such a vunerable time for women. I hope it goes well with your LO in her big bed! Is she into anyting like Peppa Pig or Winnie the Pooh? Mine loves his bed because he gets to sleep with Thomas the Tank Engine and often wants to go upstairs just to see "Tank" on his bed now. This is a geat relatively cheap website for children's bedding: www.childrens-rooms.co.uk
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Post by nicola1712 on Aug 20, 2009 16:05:32 GMT
Ooh thanks for that idea - she is well into Night Garden and Timmy Time and recognises other characters too - Pingu, Postman Pat etc so I will look into that!
xx
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Aug 20, 2009 21:32:38 GMT
Yeah, they have Night Garden stuff on that website, it's quite nice. My son likes Timmy Time too - the song is great! Have you been on the CBeebies webiste? I let my LO sit on my lap and watch me play the games and songs. He loves it.
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