Emma
Email Support Volunteer
PP for 7 months after my daughter was born. She is now 4 & being her Mum is my full time passion.
Posts: 159
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Post by Emma on Nov 5, 2009 20:33:02 GMT
Hey sweetie,
Everything you are describing is exactly how I imagine I would be if and when I ever find myself pregnant again.... I think it would take full blow labour to make me finally accept it was all happening! Remember that the first three months are in many ways the most difficult - I had almost constant nausea with Sophie and vomited several times a day until month 4. It does stop though you know it does! I do think it is hormones and your body beginning to grow and change which causes exhaustion - as does throwing up - and your irritability is therefore quite normal. Nothing you've described sounds anything other than a perfectly natural and appropriate reaction to where you're at. Keep talking and checking in with yourself and remember go easy on the feelings of guilt - you truly have nothing to feel guilty about - we all get a bit short tempered and irritable at the best of times.
Take as much rest as you possibly can and try those travel sickness bands - I too found they took the edge off as did eating dry toast or crackers little and often.
Thinking of you and inspired by your determination to do this again - I am still nowhere near ready!
Love, as ever, Emma x
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Post by monica on Nov 6, 2009 17:21:32 GMT
Hi
Sorry you are feeling pants - as Emma said everything you describe is a perfectly normal reaction. I'd be extremely irritable if I'd been puking and felt exhausted. I had constant nausea with my last pregnancy and it was horrible enough. Saying that I've also been told nausea/sickness is a good sign that hormone levels are good (doesn't help when yo've got your head downb the toilet bowl).
Baby no 2 is scary as you've been there and done it but you also know it's hard work. TBH I've only really bonded with baby when they've arrived.. dont' forget given what you've been through makes it harder to feel completely at ease with the pregnancy.
But you're doing all the right things and hopefully the second and third trimesters will be much easier
Love
Monica
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Nov 10, 2009 11:08:40 GMT
Hi everyone, Thanks for all your kind messages and reassurances. So glad I told you guys and have your support.
Thanks for the tips about the sickness. The travel sickness bands haven't really helped, but dry toast has been helpful a few times. Emma, I wish I could be confident that the sickness would stop by the 2nd trimester, but with my first pregnancy, I had sickness the entire way through and had to take anti-sickness meds just so I could eat and drink. It's not as bad this time round as it's not hyperemesis, so maybe it will stop in time.
Think I should perhaps move this thread over to a new title as baby is here and we're no longer just trying!
Nicola, glad you're getting lots of attention about the pni, but it's even better that you don't seem to need it. Naomi was telling me about a woman who had PP with her first but not her second, so I am still hopeful.
Monica, I'm glad you say baby no. 2 is scary. Most people seem to say it's so much easier with no. 2, but to be honest, knowing how much hard work it is with a newborn does not make the prospect easier for me at the moment, especially as I keep wondering what it'll be like with a toddler too. And you're right, what happened last time, is probably what is keeping me more distant from this pregnancy.
Emma, I do question whether I am actually ready to do it all again now that I'm pregnant but I guess I must have felt ready to even start trying for a baby. I'm sure you'll get there, it sounds like it is something you want to do in the future. I guess the longer we waited the more I could have talked myself round to not being ready, if that makes sense. But doing all the planning and preparation around what would happen if I did get ill again has helped me feel more in control and ready to tackle the worst (not that I still don't feel anxious on occasion about it).
My scan is in 3 weeks time on Tuesday 1st Dec in the afternoon. Please pray everything is ok with baby. I am encouraged by the sickness in one sense, since like you say it can mean good pregnancy hormone levels, but a girl at work told me a while back that her 1st scan showed her baby had died in the womb and she had no idea because she still had nausea throughout. But I must not dwell on those sad stories.
I'll be seeing my friend who lost her baby a few weeks ago on Friday, so the boys can play. Really hope she doesn't find it too painful being around me who is still pregnant. It's a good sign that she'd like to meet up though.
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Post by monica on Nov 10, 2009 21:52:08 GMT
Hi
Good luck with your scan! Enjoy your time with your friend on Friday - you know it might even help her being around you as pregnancy is a fact of life and everywhere (or that's the way it seems) especially after a miscarriage so seeing you might help her get on with things so to speak. Hope that doesn't sound too harsh but I found that it did help me in the long run after miscarriage - I got used to seeing pregnant women and although yes, it does hurt, it helped lessen the pain.
Love
Monica
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Nov 10, 2009 23:59:54 GMT
Thanks Monica.
And yes, pregnancy is everywhere when you don't want to be reminded of it, like when having difficulty conceiving or if you've lost a baby.
I hope it helps her. We probably won't be able to talk much about it, even if she wanted to, since her 2 year old is very bright and understands much of what we say these days.
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Post by nicola1712 on Nov 13, 2009 13:28:57 GMT
Ooh good luck with the scan!
I am finding it much much easier with number 2 than it was with LO. I am more confident and laid back I think. I don't completely fall apart when he cries cos I have a rough idea of what he wants whereas with LO I was still learning.
Having a toddler around just makes you more tired cos you can't sleep when baby does - but it is also nice seeing them together and it makes you see how all your hard work has turned out, because you can remember the toddler at the baby's age too.
The only time I have stressed is when he has done something that LO didn't - like he has just been diagnosed with something she never had and that has wobbled me a bit but am trying to keep calm about it.
Hope the sickness eases off soon and your scan will be a lovely boost to your feelings.
xxx
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Post by nicola1712 on Nov 29, 2009 21:54:30 GMT
Good luck tomorrow - it is tomorrow isn't it? Let us no how it goes xx
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Nov 30, 2009 20:15:37 GMT
Thanks for remembering Nicola! I've been feeling really anxious about it since the weekend and even now have butterflies. It's in the afternoon so have to endure 5 hours at work first.
Will report to you all in the evening.
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Dec 1, 2009 22:50:31 GMT
The scan went really well. Baby is healthy and normal and moving around. I am so relieved. For some reason I felt for sure something would be wrong.
The baby measured at 13 weeks, which is a week ahead of my dates so have to adjust my thinking now. Which means baby is due 6th June!
Really hope this sickness ends soon and doesn't last the entire pregnancy like my first.
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Post by cheshire on Dec 2, 2009 13:49:37 GMT
Aww, that is fantastic!
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Post by monica on Dec 2, 2009 14:41:23 GMT
Brilliant news! Hopefully the sickness will ease off within the next couple of weeks
Monica
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Emma
Email Support Volunteer
PP for 7 months after my daughter was born. She is now 4 & being her Mum is my full time passion.
Posts: 159
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Post by Emma on Dec 2, 2009 15:40:55 GMT
I am genuinely so thrilled for you - such fantastic news! Well done you! How have you been feeling apart from the sickness - has the scan allowed you to overcome the disbelief?!? I'm hoping the fears and worries you had a few weeks ago have started to fade.
Much love and thinking of you, Emma x
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Dec 2, 2009 22:23:57 GMT
Thanks everyone!
Seeing a little baby on the screen moving it's little arms and legs did help me "believe" a little more, but it still doesn't seem real. I never had this problem with my first, it's so strange that I can't take it in now, even with my head down the loo twice a day and sore boobs!
Aside from feeling physically rubbish being sick every day and really really tired, I have felt quite low this past month, which has hit a bit hard after feeling so good, happy and normal for 6 months before I became pregnant. I guess it's a combination of things really. Feeling ill doesn't help, but generally I have been more anxious about this pregnancy and what will happen beyond. Even if I'm not focusing on that it's there subconsiously and so it is coming out in anxiety and mild depression right now - wonder how bad I'd feel without my anti-depressants? Although, I feel bad for taking them and it makes me feel anxious about how they will effect the baby.
There is other stuff going on in my immediate family right now that is causing anxiety so that's probably affecting my mood too, and the other week I had some problems with colleagues at work that really upset me and caused sleepless nights. And we have some financial worries as my husband still does not have a full time teaching contract and we are having to get by with him doing supply teaching. So I suppose I know "why" I am up and down these days with all that going on, but I guess I feel like I should be much more excited about being pregnant.
Perhaps when I start feeling the baby move, I will begin to bond with him or her and feel more pregnant ??
But right now, I am just so thankful the baby is well and normal, and it has been nice to reveal our little secret [although even when I do that I can't help wondering if those people who knew how ill I was after Ellis will think we are crazy for risking another baby, which is silly I know and none of their business even if they do, but the thought goes through my head]
Thanks everyone for putting up with my moans and worries these last few months - I'm sure there'll be more to come ....
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Emma
Email Support Volunteer
PP for 7 months after my daughter was born. She is now 4 & being her Mum is my full time passion.
Posts: 159
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Post by Emma on Dec 2, 2009 23:56:01 GMT
Just keep talking honey - you know the reason we are so stuck in our decision to have another is exactly what you've described - people who knew how ill I was after Sophie will think we are crazy for risking another baby - and I have such admiration and respect that you're there and doing it. Wish I had that strength & determination. I am determined however to be here & support you in any way I can over the coming months. Emma xxx
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Post by nicola1712 on Dec 3, 2009 9:04:46 GMT
Yay! Congratulations hun - glad all ok and you are a little reassured now.
Don't worry about what people 'think' when you tell them your news - personally I would see it as you are obviously well enough and strong enough now to contemplate another baby.
Please don't worry bout taking pills while pregnant - they wouldn't put you on one that will endanger him/her. I beat myself up for ages about taking meds but S is just fine - we got a longer stay in hospital but I needed it to get to grips with loving another baby to be honest. It gave me a a bit of bonding time with him on his own.
And yes once he/she is moving about and you are feeling it, you will relax a bit more cos you will know they are ok and then you can start to bond more with them. Took me longer with S cos was more worried in that pregnancy and didn't want to get my hopes up.
I worried and worried about coping with two but believe me baby is easier - co ordinating the two sometimes gets tricky but it is fun too!
Hope the sickeness wears off soon - mine wore off quicker than with H so maybe that will happen for you. And June is a lovely time to have a baby cos it is light and warmer and they can go in the garden in the pram loads which is great for them. Plus you feel more like going out which will be good for LO.
Keep telling us how you are feeling and moan away - we don't mind!
xx
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