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Post by cheshire on Sept 25, 2005 1:44:21 GMT
I have been meaning to do this for ages (start a diary) but , you know, have put it off.... I have nothing to say tonight other than I am worn out . Worn out with teething and cooking meals. I try to cook good food for everyone as my husband's heart operation has come through for end of October. But for a long time now (since he was ill) I have cooked from scratch with healthy eating in mind. You probably all do that anyway hey? But I didn't do this to the extent I do now, with my first. I'm supposed to go with kids for Italian tomorrow lunch with my sister as a. they love my sister and b. they love pasta and so do I . My sister said it would give me a break from cooking. ...and do you know what- as soon as I have a commitment I can't sleep - hence the time. Self fulfilling nightmare but I am going to stay positive , sod it, I will. Hopefulxx Now I've started a diary and decided I don't give a monkeys who sees it, maybe now it will be easier hey?
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Post by bam02 on Sept 25, 2005 8:18:54 GMT
Hiya Hopeful,
Well done hope your meal goes well. I find commitments hard too, I worry for days in advance. But mostly they go all right. i think its the responsibility to do something. I couldn't work due to losing the plot and feeling useless. Now it spread into all areas of my life. But at least I do things any way.
Take care
A-M
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Post by cheshire on Sept 25, 2005 14:19:24 GMT
Hi
Thanks AM.
It was worth going - lovely to eat and not have to cook or wash up and little one slept the whole time just about. I am still quite bad at getting out there and doing stuff - but it often feels ok when i do....so you'r right, got to try and do these things anyway, probably good for us if we're not feeling too stressed or distressed about it.
Take care you too Hopefulxx
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Post by cheshire on Sept 27, 2005 8:37:01 GMT
Hi
Feeling ok in myself although the evenings are a total nightmare at the moment. My 13 months old angelic baby son has turned into hooligan. Particularly around FOOD and not getting it when he's hungry. The other problem is SLEEP- and the fact that I'm not getting it when I'm tired!! He just won't go to sleep until between 10 and 11pm and I do get him up early and only let hime sleep for the absolute minimum in the afternoon. He's otherwise great company during the day..he is trying to walk so maybe this is what it is, don't know? My little girl always went to bed and to sleep at the same time (much earlier than 10pm!) at this age - agghhh!!
Oh well, the little terrors always have something new in store for us hey? Hopefulx
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Post by bam02 on Sept 27, 2005 12:27:17 GMT
How you managed to become a moderator! ? You are a good choice though!
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Post by cheshire on Sept 27, 2005 13:17:57 GMT
Hi AM,
How are you? Hope this finds you having a reasonable day..
I offered ( I wasn't chosen) because finding this site has been v. important to me in my recovery (and wished I'd found it even sooner than I did really - but it took a while to work out what was happening and that I had PNI) and just want to make a continued contribution, knowing through personal experience of the common misconceptions held by non-sufferers and a general lack of understanding in terms of how horrible it is to have this illness..for so long..and with so many responsibilities..
I'm not recovered yet but I'm in recovery and didn't just want to forget it all ever happened - but we're all in the same boat at the end of the day and all support each other, but I do have pockets of time I've not had available before and so I offered to Veritee.
Love, Hopefulxx
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natalie1985
Senior Member
Mum of Peter ~ Born 15th Dec 2004
Posts: 470
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Post by natalie1985 on Sept 28, 2005 9:24:19 GMT
Hey Hopeful! You have been fantastic on this site. You really do contribute alot and your presence is definately felt! You deserve to be a Moderator! You were one of the first to grett me when i joined this forum, and it was so comforting! You're a fantastic woman and always remember that! Hope you're having a great day! Love and Light, Natalie xxx
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Post by cheshire on Sept 28, 2005 21:01:51 GMT
Hi Natalie
You are a light on this forum at the moment! I think we all enjoy your positive attitude.. It's lovely getting your posts when we get up. Glad you are with us. Hopefulx
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Post by cheshire on Sept 28, 2005 21:08:35 GMT
Hi,
I hope you don't mind me posting here about contacting BBC re. Veritee' s contacting Fiona Bruce thread...
They have asked me to do a 'video diary of one in recovery' and I just hope that I do it ok. I will be me and truthful as I always try to be. And I have already been plugging the benefits of this forum like no tomorrow by the way..deservedly so hey?
If I go ahead. ...
I want to try to do this...
The focus will be on picking up the pieces after PNI - and just how I feel day to day. I have agreed to try to video things that I find difficult - like.. mornings/ leaving the house in general / travelling by car on a motorway or during rush hour/ walking over bridges / supermarkets and any enclosed spaces/ my baby being demanding/ night times and sleep problems/ partner problems ...the list could go on....and I thought I would include reflection of the most acute period and symptoms of PNI which I have listed on the main site lots of times.
There is so much I could say which actually with a video diary would be much more raw and real than an interview - hopefully for sufferers out there too which is why I will do it .
Hope you don't mind me writing here but the video comes Friday and I don't want to let anyone down.
Any thoughts and support appreciated.
Love, Hopefulxx
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Post by Veritee on Sept 28, 2005 21:33:29 GMT
Hi Hopeful
I think you should just go for it ....
Tell it like it is for you --- and it will help many others..
If anyone else would like to contact them - please do as even if they can not use all the stories it might give an indication that PNI is suffered by more than is generally realized
Give it your best shot hopeful !!! And of course if it helps use the forum to let us know how it is going and how it is affecting you.
I would imagine that it may have personal repercussions for you...
I did the Channel 4 film many years after I had recovered from PNI - but it brought it all back
Good Luck
Veritee
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Post by cheshire on Sept 28, 2005 21:49:30 GMT
Thank you Veritee
That is just what I needed to hear
Love Hopefulx
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Post by cheshire on Sept 28, 2005 21:51:24 GMT
p.s they are looking for others from the forum too who are still in the thick of it If you're interested, please contact Veritee for contact details The woman I spoke to is empathetic and caring and I was not really what she was looking for - she needs YOU! I would prefer not to do this on my own as I am doing it as an ambassador of PNI.ORG, please contact the BBC.
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Post by cheshire on Sept 29, 2005 7:18:15 GMT
Hi
Well, I have spent the remainder of last night and part of this morning (whilst getting everyone ready) thinking about what I would say in my video diary....a difficult one actually in reality. I think this is because everything is so personal and saying it -knowing that others will hear it and actually see me saying- makes me feel vulnerable actually. The other thought I had during this dummy run is that I would have to say things about the children - but again - worry that people who know the children out there may be judgemental. It's only when you start thinking about what you might say that you realise that it really is stuff that you don't want anyone else to hear and that you'll probably say something else instead because of this! The upshot of all of this is that I just don't think I could do the video diary and really say what I think...and not be worried about it... I could cope with an interview, I think. You see, most women who have spoken about it on TV recently are almost recovered.. Anyway, that is my thinking on it at the moment. Hopefulxx
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Post by yoyo on Sept 29, 2005 9:18:31 GMT
You'll be just great hopeful, you have such a way of putting things into words here on the forum.
PNI HAS TO BE HEARD, any media exposure has got to be a good thing. It will be very hard for you and I'm sure it'll make things weird for you as you're still recovering, things are still very raw for you in so many ways.
Just be completely honest - you'll find you learn a lot about yourself from all this too and you'll look back and see how much you've achieved.
Let us know how things go.
Take care Toni -X-
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Post by yoyo on Oct 1, 2005 14:24:24 GMT
I couldn't do a video diary at the momtn, I'm too raw still too. Bit wobbly.
Are they still going to have your story? etc?
HOw you doing?
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