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Post by sarajay28 on Apr 5, 2006 15:11:46 GMT
Hiya Girls,
Susanne, that was the first thing i thought of too. That he would be intimidated by it. Yesterday was ok, we didn't really talk although i wasn't grumpy/nasty or anything like that with him. I just made it clear that i am an adult in this house too and i am capable of making decisions without consulting him. Eventually he started talking to me and said that he he felt like we needed some 'us' time and that when the kids went to their dads he would cook for us. So he made a nice meal, we had steak, mushrooms, green beans, chips and peppercorn sauce, it was lovely and then strawberries and cream all with a nice bottle of red wine followed by coffee and mints!!!! So much for the dieting!!!LOL. We had a really good talk and i asked him if he felt intimidated by the fact that i have ambitions and don't see myself just sitting at home being the wife/mother for the rest of my days. He said he didn't think that he was but admitted he is old fashioned in that way and when he was growing up he felt that his role would be 'main breadwinner' and 'man of the house'. He said he has no problems with me having ambitions and dreams and if i want to go for the job then he would support me 100% although he feels slightly jealous because its mostly males i would be working with!!! (typical man eh??) we both ended up feeling much happier to have sorted things out and i feel happier knowing that he's not going to hold me back in doing something i really want to do. We ended the evening by sitting cuddling on the sofa with a nice cup of coffee listening to music in the background and we actually fell asleep inter-twined in each others arms (awwwwww). When we went to bed i had the best sleep i've had for ages........ Things are on the up again (well maybe just on the level for now!)
Hope everyone is fine and feeling good today.
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by sarajay28 on Apr 7, 2006 9:05:17 GMT
Hi Everyone,
Not much been going on since i last wrote in here, just the usual for school holidays!! Kids going on that they are bored, giving them money from the never ending money pit!!! (yeah right). We have decided we are going to go away in the caravan again next week for the end of the holidays, cameron is all excited but kirsty doesn't want to go??? We are going down to roughly the same place we were at last week but to a slightly better site. Its my dad's birthday today so we are going down later to give him his pressies and have some cake with him, my sis is coming over to ours for lunch and then we're going to take a walk down (weather permitting!!) Whats the weather like with everyone else??? its done nothing but rain here! (typical school holidays eh?)
Anyway i hope everyone is feeling good/better? and just remember girls, it DOES get better.
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by cheshire on Apr 8, 2006 20:50:55 GMT
Hi Sarah, School holidays for me too! Hope you enjoy your stay in the caravan Sounds lovely Love and hugs Hxx
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Post by sarajay28 on Apr 23, 2006 16:07:42 GMT
Wow, April 7th was my last post in here! Its seems like yesterday when i wrote it. Am glad to be back in the usual routines, as is everyone here i think. I've decided i don't like school holidays! hahaha. I have enjoyed just being with nathan and taking him to the toddlers and going out for walks. The weather here has been lovely so i've been for loads of walks which definatley helps with mine and nathans sleeping, as soon as i hit the pillow thats me in the land of nod! Have just had a really good weekend, i went to an ann summers party on friday night at my neighbours (best friend) and what a scream!! I was drinking but not too much as i had to get up on sat morning to get my haircut. I didn't come home until 3am but it was good fun saturday we just had a lazy day, the kids were at their dads this weekend so it was me, rob and nathan. Today (sunday) we took nathan for a picnic at a park nearby and my sis and her family came too, it was good fun. We are all into picnicing at the mo! ;D its our new 'fad' lol. Early night for me tonight though i think as its catching up with me!!
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Post by susanneb1984 on Apr 24, 2006 11:13:50 GMT
Hiya Sarah, Awww you sound so happy at the moment! It's lovely! I hate school holidays too, but coz Thea doesn't quite understand why she needs a holiday, if it was up to her, she'd go to school 7 days a week!
Susanne xxx
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Post by cheshire on Apr 25, 2006 20:37:37 GMT
Hiya Sarah We love picnics too when the weather's good - it's great isn't it? Easy to throw together and the great outdoors and all that Hope you're ok HopefulXX
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Post by sarajay28 on Apr 26, 2006 12:49:53 GMT
I don't know whats going on with me at the moment, i'm up one minute, down the next, i'm wondering if this is a blip? Have been so good for ages and now i'm starting to feel myself sliding down again. I've even started having physical symptoms again, palpitations, tearfulness, panicky feelings etc etc. Why does this happen? If only we had some answers. I know i'm going through a bit of a stressful time just now but i've been through worse!! We are having severe money worries now because i've been made redundant and lost my working tax credits and also robbie hasn't been getting any work with the company he was with part-time. I've had to go through the long drawn out process of claiming jobseekers allowance/housing benefit etc and to make matters worse, my ex has been pissing about with the maintenance payments again!! I've also been having strong doubts over whether i can do the ambulance technicians job if i get it and i'm seriously thinking about turning it down if i do get offered it. I really don't think i'd be able to cope with it. The only thing (and i suppose one of the main things) is my relationship with robbie seems to be really strong when the going gets tough, i feel that we are really close just now and he's being brilliant with me not feeling so great.
The picnic on sunday was great, its nice to be able to do things that don't cost a fortune all the time and its a nice change. Yeah Hopeful, we just chuck everything in a bag, make sure we have everything for nathan and take off, its great.
Anyway moan over for now at least.
Hope everyone is ok?
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by yoyo on Apr 26, 2006 13:32:25 GMT
Hi Sarah
Sorry you're having a tough patch - PNI has no riules does it - hope this is a short blip for you x x here for you x
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Post by susanneb1984 on Apr 26, 2006 22:20:49 GMT
I know how annoying the blips can be, but try to stay strong. We're all here.
Susanne xxx
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Post by sarajay28 on Apr 28, 2006 19:44:58 GMT
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your support, it really is good to know your not alone. I'm starting to feel abit better, i've mentioned to my mum that i was starting to feel down again and she said not to put myself under any pressure and that if i needed her she was here for me. I also went to the dr's for a review on my anti-d's and last time i went to see her she mentioned about me reducing the dosage and i've found the nearer the appointment got the more panicky i was getting, i had to go and see a different dr this time and i explained to him that i didn't think i was ready for reducing the dosage and told him about all the things that are going on and he' s agreed that i should carry on as i am for another few months yet. Which has been a huge relief as i was getting really worked up about it. also letting off steam in here and talking to robbie has helped loads, he really is the best. After a long discusion i've decided if i get the ambulance job i'm not gonna take it, which has also been a huge relief, i feel abit guilty about letting them down but thats life eh? I've just applied for a job as a typist at one of our local estate agent/solicitors and thats only part-time so that would be better still although robbie has just applied for a part-time job and the bloke phoned him tonight so am hoping he gets that cos that would be even more pressure off me. (god i sound quite selfish don't i) On wednesday i went to a new 'cardio combat' exercise group with my sister which was fantastic, i felt so good after i'd been, really de-stressed. We are going to go every week as it'll get us fit and give us a break from kids. Anyway hopefully things will start looking up for us again, i don't think we could have got much lower to be honest. feel like i'm rambling now.
Hope everyone is ok and has nice things planned for the weekend.
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by cheshire on Apr 28, 2006 20:57:27 GMT
Hi Sarah,
Just sending you a hug.
Hope you have a good weekend
Hxx
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Post by sarajay28 on May 2, 2006 19:54:54 GMT
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your support H, i know your going through a rough time just now so thanks. Yeah i'm feeling alot better now, robbie got the part-time job and we had a good talk about the pressure i was feeling and he said he would really love me to be a stay at home mum all the time but if i want a job then its fine by me which made me feel good because i often feel that by being at home all day i'm not really doing anything! i know this is stupid because being a mum is the hardest job in the world but for years i had my ex hubby telling me i was lazy and should be out working even though we had two kids, and i should make my contribution to the household and not expect him to pay for everything etc,etc. It is abit alien to me (even after 3 yrs of being with rob) that i'm 'allowed' to stay at home and not feel guilty, does that make sense?
Anyway things are going ok and financially things are picking up again. I'm worrying alot about some of the girls on here, i seem to be popping on alot in the day just to check if there are any updates/news and wishing that i could physically see you all.
Hope you are all ok as much as you can be?
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by sarajay28 on May 8, 2006 13:52:01 GMT
Well i haven't written in my diary for 6 days now, a pattern seems to be emerging where i need to write it all down for a couple of days then i don't come on for a week or so. I have been on alot of the last couple of weeks though to keep an eye for things going on, am making sure everyone is doing ok. I've had a good week and weekend, the weather here has been fantastic for nearly a week now! (a miracle) and i'm now lovely and bronzed (yay) although a bit burnt on my shoulders!!! ooppsss We've been having bbq's and sunbathing and long walks with the kids, its such a good feeling. I sat today with my mum and sister in my garden (a heavenly sun trap) and as we were talking and laughing and joking, i thought to myself 'what a great life i've got, i'm so lucky' just to have the privilege of staying at home to look after my kids and be with my family. I hope everyone of you will experience these feelings sometime soon.
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by cheshire on May 8, 2006 18:09:29 GMT
That is great to hear Love and hugs Hopefulxx
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Post by susanneb1984 on May 8, 2006 20:48:22 GMT
Hiya Sarah, I'm glad the blip has ended for you hunni, it's so lovely to know your doing better.
Susanne xxxx
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