kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 21, 2006 21:37:41 GMT
Was heading to bed when things got worse. Little man had a reflux episode which lasted nearly 2 hours and involved choking, crying til he was sick and screaming himself hoarse. I endedup having a 'mini-meltdown' Going to book a joint visit with GP tomorrow, he needs to understand that the reflux doesn't only affect baby but main carer feels like running away. Went out for half an hour once little man was settled and wondered if I died in an accident would he know I love him and would anyone tell him. Told P to tell him if anything happened! Exhausted now, can't sleep cos so anxious, never know if I'm dreaming or thinking mind seems to race. Can't be bothered typing any more Here's to a better Tuesday
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Post by cheshire on Aug 22, 2006 15:50:52 GMT
KL,
Hope today was a little bit better for you
Hopefulxxx
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Post by sianyc on Aug 22, 2006 19:09:43 GMT
Thanks for the info on MIND. That's next on my list of sites to go to. I'll let you know what happens.
I hope your doctor is understanding when you go. From your other posts it seems they are reluctant to prescribe anti-d's until other options have been explored. I'm anything but an expert but the anti-d's have really helped me.
I was quite prejudiced against them. A close friend who had suffered from PNI and took anti-d's for that talked to me about them and I changed my mind. It's basically just like taking antibiotics for a different illness and you wouldn't hesitate to do that.
I know I would get better without them as well but I feel I need the help they give me
Hope tomorrow picks up for you and you have at least a little bit of a smiley day
Sian x
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 22, 2006 19:44:54 GMT
Hi Hopeful and Sian - Thanks.
Went to see the GP, back to SMA gold and gaviscon but to increase dosage if needed. I've been given a prescription for low dosage of citroplam which I can collect if I feel myself slipping before the counselling comes through.
Think I am quite prejudiced against them, which I shouldn't be because I do have good understanding of depression and its effects. My mum suffers from depression and my father in law committed suicide due to it. Going to see how things go first.
Doctor was quite good really, tried to emphasize the good things I do etc but it's not easy to remember or beleive it.
Baby clinic tomorrow. It's a different set of HV ( I don't come into their area!) and they're very good so might try and get some support from that direction. My HV does nothing for me I'm afraid.
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 23, 2006 19:55:11 GMT
Today has been an ok day in the grand scheme of things. Been to baby clinic, little man has not gained very well over the last couple of weeks but it's to be expected because of the change in milk etc. Had a wander in the fresh air then a quiet afternoon at home. Bath and bed time has so far been uneventful (touch wood) Got a friend coming for lunch tomorrow then going out with my auntie and mum coming for tea as long as things are OK.
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 24, 2006 19:40:35 GMT
Another OK day. P went back to work so I was a lttle nervous but we went for a long walk before lunch and then went into town with my auntie and mum came for lunch. Aiming to go out with my brother and his wife on Sunday because it's their wedding anniversary and our 3rd anniversary on Wednesday. Hoping we'll make it. Quiet day at home tomorrow I think? Quite nervous but looking forward to play time with my gorgeous little man.
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notnutz
New Member
It's Always darkest before the dawn...
Posts: 18
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Post by notnutz on Aug 24, 2006 20:17:05 GMT
Heya KL
Hope i'm not crashing in on your diary... but wanted to say i'll be checking in quite a bit tomorrow probably - so if staying in is getting hard tomorrow drop me a line...
hope the sun rises for you tomorrow bx
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 25, 2006 21:00:47 GMT
We've had a good day today, just the 2 of us. Haven't done much other than play and laugh and smile! I feel terrified at the thought of a day alone and then find it's lovely.
I've been out tonight, justme, no husband and no little man! I kind of remember who I am, I think?!?!? Went for a meal with best friend and talked about things other than pni and babies which made a refreshing change. Was worrying about going initially because P has never been on his own with the baby before and was wittering about how he can't settle him and he'll have to ring me if baby starts screaming. Was starting to think it would be easier not to go and then thought 'Hang on' the moe he does it the more confidence he'll get and it'll do me good to have the me time the doctor advises. I feel quite good, trouble is you think it'll even itself out at some time and I'll live to regret those words.
Not going to be sucked into the negative thoughts! Today had been a better day, so far ! x
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Post by sianyc on Aug 26, 2006 9:18:29 GMT
I'm so pleased you decided to go!!
It takes so much effort and there are always loads of reasons not to bother but it's a step towards getting better. Feeling like more than the little wifey and mummy does wonders for my mood.
P obviously coped just fine and like you said, he'll get more confident and you can leave them for longer ;D
Hope you have a good day x
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 26, 2006 19:30:16 GMT
Another decent day! Not done very much, been on a couple of walks and had lunch at my mum and dad's.
That sounds so boring but it's been lovely to spend time playing and laughing again. Hopefully going out tomorrow for our anniversary!
Feeling very positive!!!
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Post by mollyrose on Aug 27, 2006 18:42:12 GMT
hi just hoped you had a good weekend , becs
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 27, 2006 21:28:36 GMT
Look at me! Another good day.
Again not done very much, no been far but enjoyed the things I've been part of. Been for a chinese this evening with my brother and sister in law which was so lovely, we used to go out every couple of weeks before baby was born but this is first time in about 5 months! Hadn't realised how much I missed it! Mum and dad babysat which helped me relax. Sometimes I fordet they brought 3 of us up. This afternoon P ran me a bath with candles and bubbles and I read a couple of chapters of my book whilst soaking which felt fantastic - little things and all that!
I feel so positive and so like me and so normal. It's days like this when I feel like I'm winning and that I m acually doing a good job of bringing up my little man.
I've written so much so that it's a day to look back on when things are tougher
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Post by mollyrose on Aug 28, 2006 8:00:10 GMT
hi just read your reply to my diary thankyou and so pleased you had a good day yesterday too the bath sounds lovely does'nt it feel good to feel positive love becs,
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 28, 2006 19:44:20 GMT
Becs- Thanks for the lovely words.
Another good day, again not doing much - how boring must we sound! Spent some time with brother and his family which was lovely as always. Had an extra hour and half sleep in this morning which makes a difference to how I feel. Not much before 9pm and I'm still up, still quite awake and looking forward to reading a couple of chapters of my book.
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Aug 29, 2006 19:19:37 GMT
I feel so positive at the moment following another good day.
Had lunch at my friends and then we went out for a walk to the park. I actually felt like me, not forced but real. I didn't feel the need to fill silences or as though I was being watched - bliss. P cooked tea while I got on top of the ironing which made me feel better. It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow, apparently I have a gift on the way - feeling spoilt! Long may these days continue X
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