|
Post by sianyc on Sept 9, 2006 7:45:20 GMT
Hey KL
Sorry to hear you've had some bad days. Will the little man take Gaviscon on it's own - I think I remember being able to mix it up with a little bit of water or formula and squirt it in Caitlin's mounth like it was calpol. It may have changed in the 3 years since ahe was a baby though.
On my down days I tend to just go with them. I laze around the house for a bit, do NO housework at all, let Caitlin play out the back and the baby play with her older sister's toys. If they really do my head in I walk slowly to the shops and bribe Caitlin with a lollipop. Obviously the lollipop won't work on the little man but 10 minutes fresh air could help.
It depends really on how difficult it is that day to get ready and get out. Some days it's too much and then I put Friends DVD's on or jump on this sit for half an hour
Hope you've had better days x
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 10, 2006 20:12:50 GMT
Hi Sian, thanks for the advice.
We do get out every day and I find the relaxing thing makes me worse because I start to feel guilty that I'm not doing anything with the little man.
Had a good weekend, walking and buying a high chair! Put him in it this afternoon and felt sadness that time is passing so quickly but pride at how beautiful and fantastic he is!!!!
Going to speak to the HV tomorrow, feeding is getting more dificult so weaning may be the next step.
Decided this is going to be my last week of eating junk, Slimming World here I come. My weight has already been a big issue for me, P has never supported me dieting (turns out he thinks I'll run off with someone else if I lose the weight I want to lose) Think if I take control of this I can only feel better.
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 12, 2006 9:01:56 GMT
Having a bit of a low one today but think my period is very due!
Yesterday was an ok day, didn't do much other than had a walk and a bit of tidying. Was so nice to sit at the table and eat with P though, I've missed it since the table has been against the wall to create space. Puty it back in the centre now so that when little man is in he high chair we can all eat together.
Rang the HV first thing yesterday morning re feeding but she never got back to me as usual. It really frustrates and annoys me. I have never at anypoint felt supported by them. When I was discharged by my midwife they never got in touch, I rang them about a month later for info on clinics etc. When baby had been in nospital and I hit alow point I rang them on the Monday, they managed to get in touch on the Thursday! They have not helped whatsoever with reflux issues and now this. As I'm typing my fingers are hitting the keys harder and harder because I'm so angry at how little support I've been offered. When she has come she was useless, just sat there saying he looked pale!!!!
Today already started low! Feeding this am was a nightmare, would only take 100ml, sat him in his chair and let him play with the teat until he finally took a little more. On my own today, would normally spend day with my friend but her partner is off work. Little man having morning nap. Plan to go get a food processor later, something to aim for and not spending money on things we don't need.
A friend from work e mailed yesterday about a leaving party at the end of this month, 3 of the team are leaving. Mentioned it in passing to P this morning, he never even asked if I was going to go or anything. Thing is part of me wants to but I can't cope with the hassle that goes with it. P has had issues with me going anywhere and leaving him with little man and definatley wouldn't agree to it i he had to put him to bed. I'm expected to settle him and then wait a while until we know he's hard and fast asleep.
I feel so whingey this am, think I'm just feeling sorry for myself! Let's hope I pull myself together at some point in the day
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 12, 2006 20:15:02 GMT
Managed to pull myself together not long into the day! Little man has been gorgeous all day, chuckling and chatting - bless x Did a little bit of shopping, food processor and musical instruments (am I mad? ) Mum came for tea which is always lovely. Tomorrow on our own again, will see what weather is like before we make plans
|
|
|
Post by cheshire on Sept 12, 2006 20:46:11 GMT
Hi Kl77
Glad your day picked upxx
Hopefulxx
|
|
|
Post by sianyc on Sept 13, 2006 6:56:20 GMT
yes you are definately mad buying musical instruments. I've done the exact same thing though! The look on their face makes up for the noise and you can always hide them on top of the fridge when it's really doing your head in I used the Lorraine Kelly book for weaning my two. It's mostly 'chop and chuck in one pot' style of cooking which is more my thing than that Annabel Karmel complicated kitchen angel malarkey. Although that's good when you're feeling like cooking nice family meals. Hipp Organic jars and Heinz Mum's Own were also popular with my girls. Just realised I sound like a bossy mare so feel free to commpletely ignore me ;D Hope you're feeling good today x
|
|
|
Post by Veritee on Sept 13, 2006 10:02:58 GMT
Hi KL I am just catching up with posts I have missed since I was away and I wanted to say hello Actually I did a very long reply as I related to a couple of things you said but my PC crashed - its always doing that as I overload it - and I lost what I wrote. But this is probably a good thing as I went on too long and totally monopolized your diary!! But the basis of what I was saying is I think you are right when you say that if your child has health problems this can be a trigger for PNI . A filmmaker I knew ( she did the short film I did for channel 4 - all the filmmakers had mental health issues too see the film at www.pni.org.uk/intro.htm the link is at the bottom of the menu on the left) had PNI and I KNOW she would not have had it if she had not had a baby girl with severe reflux - I believe her child eventually had a small op at 3 years old which cured the problem . A big factor in her illness was that because of the lack of any concrete medical diagnosis of the cause for some years she was - or felt - blamed by the medical professionals for her babies condition i.e they indicated that her anxiety was contributing to it or even was the cause and therefore she always felt her best was not 'good enough'!!! I too had a similar situation that I believe was a big trigger in my PNI . My daughter Caja born full term but under 5lbs, badly 'failed to thrive' - this was a reality as by 10 months she was only 10lbs in weight and I was out of my mind with worry We of course had all the warning bells ringing for abuse or neglect as there was no medical explanation found and then endured the social services intervention that a baby failure to thrive without any medical explanation brings. - it was complete hell as we always knew that nothing we were doing was the cause and the interventions were not only useless but disruptive to our lives and interfering with the care of our baby - but they - the doctors, health visitors and social services - would not listen. I know that my obviously distressed state of mind did not help the situation as it led doctors and social services to believe that I must be somehow responsible i.e abusing or neglecting my baby to cause the failure to thrive - so the whole thing was a vicious circle, the more stressed and distressed by the situation I became the more they felt I was the cause and the more stressed and ill I became I know that your situation is nothing like this and that no one is thinking you are neglecting your baby - but I just wanted to tell you why I relate so strongly to a baby with problems being a PNI trigger - it was all like it was yesterday when I write this down yet it was 17 years ago!!! so it still triggers me now I t was eventually found that she had a hole in her heart valve which would have caused this but this was not found until Caja was 4 by which time it had started to spontaneously close as often happens - but I know that this and the blame that was loaded on me as being the possible cause of her problem or that I was not doing my best was a big factor in my PNI At one time they thought she was failing to thrive because I was not feeding her - a nightmare - especially considering I was spending every waking hour offering her milk and later food, trying to reverse her failure to thrive at the expense of my own well being in every way!! all a mum wants to know is that their best is what their child needs and their best is leading to a happy , healthy thriving baby - and failing this a proper medical explanation and some effective solutions or at least a course of action. I was wondering if you feel that your sons reflex is your fault in any way - or has anyone suggested it might be or that your anxiety etc is adding to the problem? as feeling it is your fault somehow that your baby has problems can add to the situation. if so please be reassured I know that you are doing your best and nothing you are doing is part of the cause of your babies problem - if not still be reassured it is obvious from what you say you are a great mother and doing your best. I also wanted to say about how I had very similar difficulties with my husband i.e not bonding , not being involved in our babies care - I am not sure that anything I would say on this would help but I just wanted to tell you how it was for me and how it is 17 years later - it helps me too to talk about theses things But I have already taken up too much of your dairy So I will say goodbye for now and I am glad this forum is of some support to you All the best Veritee PS my failure to thrive baby is now 17 healthily and doing her A levels!
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 14, 2006 12:53:50 GMT
Hi Veritee
Lovely to hear from you and thanks from the support.
It sounds like you had it really hard with Caja - where's the professional support? Trouble is 17 years down the line and it's not getting much better!!!
Re the reflux I'm positive it is the major 'cause' and tigger for how I feel. The last few days I've been wavering a bit but I came on my period yestrday so those days are very much explained. My periods were horrendous prior to my pregnancy, had hormone tests etc etc but nothing helped. When due on my mood swings were bad and whilst on I had flushes, dizzy spells, sickness, pain so bad I couldn't walk! Since having my little boy they have not been as bad re pain and moods but still get down.
I don't feel that I am to blame for the reflux and my worry etc has not been linked to it but I also haven't really told many people. The last bad episode when I went to see the doctor and we changed his milk I admitted to the pni and said something had to be done becasue my son's main carer was sinking due to an illness which he will 'grow out' of.
I did wonder in the beginning if it would have happened if I'd have been breastfeeing. Still have guilt re breastfeeding. Couldn't feed initially because I had blood pressure problems in last couple on months of pregnancy and was on meds which of ourse were increased in labour. When baby was born I attempted to feed but my BP plummeted. Baby was given formula and then had to have blood sugar test. I then had to give him prem baby mix every 3 hours. While in hospital I was never asked if i wanted to breastfeed and it was instilled in me that I had to measure how much baby was having.
When I returned home my own midwife promoted breastfeeding, initially I wouldn't try because of the measuring. When I did try I fed continously for 6-8 hours but baby wouldn't take nipple and even with shields on I couldn't give him enough.
It's the first time I've admitted I feel guilt because I didn't push to feed my baby naturally. I was so exhausted the first few days I couldn't be bothered asking anyone even though I'm normally quite forward. I hadn't slept for nights leading up to my labour so just wanted some rest.
On my good days and even on my bad I realise that I did try and can't turn back the clock.
One thing I do feel guilty about is when he was admitted at 6 weeks following the choking episode. I let consultant tel me I was a neurotic first time mum, let them even mention reflux but didn't puch them to do the tests and get something done. Think it was to do with my self esteem, I even thought I was a neurotic first time mum.
Eventually when things continued I went to the doctors and TOLD them he has reflux and we started treatment.
We were reffered to the hospital and saw a consultant who told me when we were in that it was perfectly noraml. He said well done to the GP for diagnosing reflux!!!!
Even now when people mention reflux they say - he's not sick it can't be reflux or he's so healthy though!
I feel frustration that people think I exaggerate things or that it's like colic -NO!
The latest I hear is - Oh he's teething. He has silent reflux which causes him to 'drool' Does anyone ever listen!!!!!
Goin to atop wittering now and get out for a walk - rain or no rain!
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 14, 2006 18:54:08 GMT
It's been a funny old day.
Took little man for his injections this morning, he had a cry for a couple of seconds but I could have cried for ages! Brave little mister!
We came home and had lunch.....proper lunch. He's had his first taste of baby rice today and ate it all up - chunky monkey! It was so lovely, we were sat opposite each other, him in his bouncy chair and me sat on the floor. I was showing him the spoon and bowl and his excitement was amazing. When he first tasted he was smiling! He was gorgeous, such a lovely time, everything is so new and exciting to him and it rubs off. I'm so in love!!!!!!!
Spending some time with a friend tomorrow. She doesn't know about the pni (like most people) and is someone who judges and says things. Not looking forward to it but haven't seen her properly in ages and she asked when I couldn't find an excuse not to. I'm hoping that I will be strong enough to deal with things.
|
|
naomi
Senior Member
Made it through the long recovery from PP!
Posts: 216
|
Post by naomi on Sept 14, 2006 20:07:40 GMT
Hey KL well done for starting on the baby rice! You may find in time that the solids help with little man's reflux - here's hoping for you hon xxx
Hope tomorrow goes OK with your friend, it can be so hard when people think you're just a bit blue or just don't understand. Will be thinking of you! I'll be around online in the afternoon so if you need to vent I'm here for ya!
Love Nay x
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 15, 2006 11:27:02 GMT
Feel a bit low today but little man is grisly, most likely due to the injections.
Not going to see the friend now, not fair on the little one because he struggles to sleep at home let alone with 2 other noisy children in the house. Don't think she was that bothered because she had other plans.
Been a bad week for things breaking. Shower broke, oven only comes on when it wants to, mobile charger not working, toilet flush sticking on and lap top keeps switching itslef off and sometimes will not come back on! Nightmare!!!! Get frustrated when I can't access this site, think it shows that I could really do with telling other people so I have people to talk to.
Don't know what to do today, the sun is shining so we really should be out and about but I'm shattered because we had a poor night.
Think the feeling sorry for myself is on its way again.
Going to go and try and shake it off, hopefully better entry this evening, as long as the lap top is working!!!!!
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 15, 2006 19:24:54 GMT
Day was ok in the end!
Went out for a stroll in the sunshine and treated myself to a panini from a gorgeous continental cafe in the village. Litte man picked up and we laughed and laid together. Gorgeous, Gorgeous, Gorgeous xxxxx
Just waiting for P to bring my tea in - this is the life! Also been promised a lay in in the morning -we'll see!!!!
|
|
kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
|
Post by kl77 on Sept 16, 2006 20:12:07 GMT
A good day today.
Didn't have my lie in this morning, didn't feel I needed it.
Althouh little man does sleep through he still makes the odd noises etc so I tend to sleep lightly and hear every little thing. Last night I fell asleep at 10.30 and didn't wake at all until 4.30. 6 solid, blissful hours!!! I then went back off, very lightly, until he started with hiccups at 7am.
Went looking for highchairs just after lunch, we bought a mama's and papa's one last week and it doesn't seem safe. If he is leaning to one side the whole chair leans - not good. Going to take it back and get another one. I should have learnt my lesson, we bought nearly everything from mama's and papa's and I think you must just pay for the name because the quality is shocking for the money.
Thinking about getting a Stokke - Tripp Trapp. Quite expensive but it means the little one will always eat at the table with us and it will last forever. Think it would be easier to clean too without the horible plastic covers which have loads of corners.
Had a nice long walk this afternoon, a family walk. Felt really close to P today, I've missed it. It was lke we found us as a couple as well as us as parents.
Got all the info through the post about Centreparks. We go in 3 weeks with my parents and I'm really loking forward to it.
Not got very much planned tomorrow, more family time I think - my favourite!
|
|
naomi
Senior Member
Made it through the long recovery from PP!
Posts: 216
|
Post by naomi on Sept 17, 2006 7:38:03 GMT
Hey KL - glad to hear you had such a good one yesterday. Sounds like things are going so good with P, well done both of you for getting through this illness together - it really does put a strain on the 'couple' side of life at times.
The tripp trapp looks really good - we were going to get one for Anya and then got a second hand one passed on, but the tripp trapp will keep its value so you could always sell it on ebay once your family's complete!
I agree about mamas and papas - the quality is about the same as Toys R Us!!!
Hope you have a peaceful lovely day today xx N
|
|
|
Post by sianyc on Sept 17, 2006 9:06:24 GMT
Center Parcs is amazing!! ;D
We go at least once a year and love it. They do winter breaks that are about £200-£250 January to March for Monday to Friday. Babysitters, creche what more can I say!!
I had a lot of guilt over not breatfeeding my first especially as she was then on Gaviscon for 10 months. That was without PNI to make things feel worse. You tried and at the end of the day, once they're toddling around no-one knows whether they were breast or bottle fed. What I'm trying to say is that the period of time where method of feeding is an issue is short and will soon be replaced by worries of whether you can get away with bribing them with Smarties again. ;D
Take care chicken x
|
|