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Post by cheshire on Oct 5, 2006 20:34:26 GMT
Hi KL, Hope you have a great time at Centre Parks - would love to know if you recommend it? We are quite keen, but don't know anyone who's gone recently. So if it's no trouble, a quick update when you get back would be great You sound so wonderful and organised . I hope you have a fantastic timexx Love Hopefulxx
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Post by sianyc on Oct 7, 2006 8:18:25 GMT
my sister does slimming world and is doing really well - you can eat loads (sounds ideal for me!)
Center Parcs does free baby jars at all the restaurants if you didn't want to wear yourself out Monday morning. Or those purees will keep 24 hours in the fridge so you can do it Sunday x
sorry that sounds bossy x
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Post by sianyc on Oct 9, 2006 12:20:42 GMT
Hope you had a good week. Very jealous ;D
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naomi
Senior Member
Made it through the long recovery from PP!
Posts: 216
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Post by naomi on Oct 11, 2006 11:51:21 GMT
Hey KL - hope your hols have been fantastic, and you've had some time to be pampered and relax for yourself. Did little man enjoy the swimming pool? I've only been once when I was younger but remember it being great fun!
Look forward to catching up when you're back - I'll try and get online whilst I'm up in the frozen wastelands visiting family!
Hugs, N and A xx
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Nov 3, 2006 8:12:11 GMT
It's been ages since I last posted and quite a bit going on. Where shall I start? Couldn't get on the internet bfore my holiday because of the ever reliable ntl!
Centreparks was ok but very very cold. My mum's back had gone before we even got there so walking wasn't the best thing for her. Spent the few days feeling really guilty because it was my parents only break because mum won't go abroad and dad had paid for it. Didn't get much of a break. P fed the little man about 4 times and changed him once all week, never washed and dressed him or bathed him (don't worry he knew about it when we got home!!!!!)
My back is really bad again, about 2 years ago I had nearly 5 months off work due to torn ligaments in my lower back and it's creeping up on me again, think its the weight of carrying the not so little man in his car seat and trying to get him in the back of a 3 door.
Things have been going ok, weaning going really well but I seem to be cooking all the time. Today we're moving on to lamb - should be fun! Been to the hospital and dont' have to take him back for another 4-6 months. Trouble is yesterday and this morning the reflux seems to have started again, not causing pain but he keeps choking. Going to cut out dairy for a few days to see if this could be the cause.
P came home last night with a letter from work basically saying that there is going to be redundancies in his department and there are 3 people going for the managers job which is what he does now, they're managers too but in another garage. He feels like a failure and like he can't support his family and I'm just trying really hard o not let it drop me down into the depths again because I was doing so well, don't want to let P see me upset or it will cause more guilt.
Rang MIND yesterday because I was told 11 weeks ago that I would get counselling in 4-5 weeks! The organiser is due to ring me today.
Little man really clingy at the minute, don't know if it might be ue to teething, crying every time I leave the room - not getting much done to say the least!
Mum's depression and confusion doesn't seem to be getting any better and I feel so guilty because sometimes I snap at her or push her to do things for herself. I know it's starting to get my dad down too and I don't really know what to do. Both brothers don't have that much awareness and don't spend enough time with her to notice.
Anyway got to go to get little man washed and dressed and back into bed for his one nap of the day!!!! WQill try and catch up with people later x
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Nov 3, 2006 21:15:09 GMT
Better day than anticipated.
P has had loads of phone calls at work offering him support and advice and even some job offers- think it's made him feel much better (will be lucky if he can get his head through the bedroom door though ha ha)
MIND rang and I've got my first session next Tuesday - quite looking forward to it.
Had a long chat with my dad today and he's going to try and talk mum into going back to the doctors, just feel a bit better for getting it off my chest.
Little man has been in bed since 7 as usual, loved his lamb for tea but is suffering with his teeth, poor little love. His flushing cheek moves from one side to the other through the day - very bizarre!
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naomi
Senior Member
Made it through the long recovery from PP!
Posts: 216
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Post by naomi on Nov 6, 2006 9:31:02 GMT
Oh mate... it sounds like it's been quite a rough few weeks, glad things had improved a bit on Friday when you posted though. Sorry the holiday was cold, not the best when you've got bad backs... Was the pool area warm enough? Naughty P - sounds like he got into holiday mode a bit and forgot about helping to give you a rest! Sounds like you deserve a nice meal cooked by him and a good few nappy changes and feeds to make up for it!!
Glad to hear you've got some counselling starting - I think that even though PND is a hormonal thing, there's quite often emotional and life-history reasons around why we're susceptible to it and it's good to talk those through with a counsellor. If you find it helpful, your mum might think about having some sessions as well as talking to the GP about medication. It's so hard when your mum's ill isn't it? I feel so sad that my mum can't even really engage with it being Anya's birthday soon as she's so low. I juset keep trying to hope for next year - if mum's well again we'll have her 2nd birthday party up there and celebrate as a family.
Ah the teething!!! It's horrible - my HV recommended 2.5 ml of Calpol and 2.5 ml of baby ibuprofen which seemed to do brilliantly for Anya. You can give both at the same time as they work on different pain receptors.
Hope you have a better day - glad to hear P's got support and job offers, reduces the worry of threatened redundancy. Si's work keep reducing the team size and we go through the same panics every time... I wish they'd realise it affects the family too!
Anyway, enough of my rambling - hope to speak soon Hugs, N xx
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Nov 7, 2006 7:58:17 GMT
Thanks for joining in Nay x Been to nosey at your diary x
Last couple of days have been ok, managed to speak to both brothers which has made me feel a little better. Brother I'm closest to has offered, again, to have L sometimes, perhaps a Saturday morning so I can get my hair done. I think that's what I find really hard, we don't have anyone just to help out so I can get his cooking done or get some cleaning done.
My aunitie goes for some biopsy results this morning so I've got everything crossed. Very close to her, she's one of two people who knows about my illnes.
Will update soon x
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Nov 11, 2006 8:09:13 GMT
Last few days have been fine x
Auntie got results and she has a really rare skin condition which is likened to malaria! Thing is the other options were cancer and lupus so it appears she has come out better off because the condition she has reacts well to medication.
Went to 'Babies into books' on Thursday - really not sure about it. It was all very 'clicky' and very earth motherish? Lots of sining and then the activities are for adults to do and your little one is left on a mat with one person watching them! Difficult when there's about 6 babies but also toddlers who are nearly standing on the babies! Don't think it was my cup if tea but considering giving it another go. Trouble as well is that it's 1.15 til 2.45 and little man feeds about 2 and then has to be upright for at least half an hour so we can't really join in for a lot of it. Needless to say this week was making talking mats and we were the only ones who have to do 'homework' because we didn't get it completed. My other bug bear (moan, moan, moan) was how opinionated some mums can be - they were talking about routine and making unfriendly comments about people who have their babies in a routine. Then it was all how your child would recognise the McDonalds sign and crisp and chocolate wrappers!
I don't know if I've talked about this before but I'm finding my idea's on feeding etc are causing real problems. Little man has all home cooked food and eats loads of fruit and veg and although he's 28 weeks has never had chocolate! Shock, Horror!!!!! I don't have a problem with people who give their child different foods to me or use convenience foods. I don't even think about it but the amount of negative comments I get is unbelievable! This is a big issue for us at the minute.
Not done much of anything, some walking and catching up with people but it's been nice. P at work again this am so think I'll go to my brothers for a couple of hours x
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naomi
Senior Member
Made it through the long recovery from PP!
Posts: 216
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Post by naomi on Nov 12, 2006 13:26:49 GMT
Hey KL
Glad to hear the news about your auntie was not as bad as you feared. Your family must be relieved.
I too get so aggravated by mums who criticise routine and seem to think that those of us who like to have some sort of structure for the day are control freaks! In reality, all of us have routine in our lives - we get up about the same time each day, have our meals at roughly the same time... so why not have this approach for our babies? Don't let these other mums put you off if you're finding a routine that works for little man. The babycare pendulum is swinging back nowadays thanks to all the debate opened by Gina Ford, and you only have to watch House of Tiny Tearaways or similar to see what problems you can let yourself in for if there's no structure and no set bedtime for children!!
Anyway, first rant over... so sorry to hear you're getting aggro about giving little man a lovely, homemade, healthy diet. How weird for people to criticize... most likely it's about jealousy or feeling inadequate because they're not doing the same. So instead of giving you a compliment and saying how they admire that you're doing home-made food, they bring you down instead. For what it's worth I think it's brilliant what you're doing, and Anya is thriving on a similar approach - she now has little portions of our family food and nice cooked veg for finger food, and very rarely refuses anything. So you keep on doing what you feel best for your little man - he's lucky to have such a domestic goddess for a mum!
Have you been watching Hugh Fearnley Wittingstall's new TV programme - he takes a week to convert hardened ready-meal eaters back to the pleasures of home-cooked and even wild food. It was a really joyful programme watching people getting so much pleasure and fun out of cooking again, and realising how much cheaper and tastier the 'real' stuff was. Once you get little man to nursery, I'm sure you will find other mums who like home cooking and are enthusiastic about healthy school meals - here's hoping anyway!!!
Take care hon Love Naomi x
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Post by cheshire on Nov 12, 2006 18:35:45 GMT
Hi KL,
Am glad too that your news about your Auntie was okx
I am not a great one for mother and baby groups - to be honest - it is just not my thingx But, I have learnt that this is ok? And I actually believe I am a good parent (at last!)
I am really into organic cooking at the mo' , but if that doesn't work, then I get the tin opener out! Need the backup with 2 hungry ones!
Sod the other mums, do what you feel & as my HV said - survivex
Love and hugs, Hopefulxx
p.s. sorry for forum blip with additional posts & things there happens sometimesxx
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Post by winegirl on Nov 13, 2006 10:03:50 GMT
Hi KL,
The only advice I have learnt to take from the mother and baby froups is none of it! Every mother and every baby is different and YOU know what is best for YOUR child.
As Hopeful said - Sod 'em - you know what you need to do.
Winegirl x
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Post by yoyo on Nov 13, 2006 10:08:50 GMT
LOL too right!!
Hi KL - how are you doing? Is it your councelling tomorow? Thinking of you x
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Nov 15, 2006 8:17:38 GMT
Thanks Hopeful, Winegirl and Yoyo - think you all said what I was already thinking!
Yoyo - Had the counselling yesterday, thanks for remembering x
Counselling - I have really conflicting thoughts about the session. Thing is I was expecting to feel either relieved or guilty but didn't expect it to make me feel low.
The lady I saw was lovely and it felt good to say everything to someone outside the situation and someone non-judgemental. She made me realise and questiona few things such as the amount of guilt I feel about everything and that this is the way of punishing myself. I told her that I had hardly told anyone and that I was really close to my brother and sometimes struggled becasue at times I needed him but other times I'd hate him to know. She commented that my voice changed when I spoke about him and it made me realise that I might just need him more than I think even though I feel to be on the upside at the minute. The reasons behind me not doing things or keeping things to myself is fear of hurting others and in the mean time I am punishing myself?
I've got another session next week and want to go to see if things continue to become clearer or if it makes me feel worse. It seems a shame to write it off when while I was in there the process felt positivie and it is only when I start dissecting it that I feel low about it.
Will try post some more later
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Post by beverley on Nov 16, 2006 17:40:12 GMT
Hi KL, Congrats for going to counselling - it's so difficult facing your demons.
I don't have any siblings, and your relationship with your brother sounds wonderful. As they say, you can't choose your family... it sounds as though you're very lucky on that score.
I hope today brought you a little peace
xxx
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