Sarah's space

[Scarlet]

Sarah,

Sorry you are having a hard time. Could Stuart have had a febrile convulsion hun, due to being overheated etc? It's good that you are having him checked out by the paediatrician though just to be sure. Do you have an appointment date yet?
It sounds like a good idea to let him sleep with you for a while. My eldest slept with me until he was 4 and it was so easy to breastfeed him through the night when he was a baby. He loved being close and so did I
My baby is in his cot because he's a wriggly worm and the slightest movement disturbs him. I did sleep with him for a month or two, but it didn't work as well.

As for the potty training, how old is your biggest boy? I'm just wondering if he's ready for potty training. I tried my eldest for a few days (when he was two and half) and like your boy, he poohed and weed all over, so I figured he wasn't ready and left it a month or so and tried again. The second time he was ready and he was dry within a week with no real hassle.

Let us know how your get on with the paediatrician and come and chat on here when you get some time.

Thinking of you

Hugs

Scarlet
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[Scarlet]

Just wondering how you are getting on Sarah? Let us know if you get the time hun.

Thinking of you

Hugs

Scarlet
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[winegirl]

Hi Sarah

Just wondering how you are doing? How is Stuart?

Thinking of you x

Winegirl x

[stevensmummy]

Hi Girls,

Thanks for all the thoughts. My life has gone into overdrive and I've bearly a free minute. I cant wait till things settle and I get a bit of peace. School hols r nearly over so hopefully soon i will.

Stuarts a lot better. As for the febrile convulsion, well I thought that but his temp wasnt up so it wasnt that. The peadiactric app isnt thro yet, although last week he put on 11oz, so hopefully it wasnt a fluke like the last time and he'll do it again this week. D-day is 2morow, so fingers crossed.

Better go OH is in needing his supper, will try to keep in touch a bit more. Thanks again for all the support

Sarah x

[winegirl]

Hi Sarah

Good to hear from you x Great news about Stuart! Hope he continues to get better and better.

Still thinking of you mate.

Winegirl x

[Scarlet]

Hiya Sarah,

Nice to hear from you. Let us know how you get on today.

Hugs

Scarlet
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[winegirl]

Hi Sarah

How did the weigh in go? Let us know x

Winegirl x

[stevensmummy]

Hi Girls

with regard to the weight hes fine, only 4oz but since he had a jump last time, hes still on par with that imaginary line they like to follow. So with reard to him I'm happy.

Steven, might terrors and constant tantrums. We're bign referedto the hosp about it. behaviour specialist will talk to us. Had hv over today, she reassured me the ADHD is not poss as even when people come in he wouldnt chnage, which he always does, if anything it would get worse. I feel better about that. Gave me some helpful advice on coping and sleeping issues.

Ha d a long talk to her about pni and all sorts came puring out. In tears, you know the ususal routine. She suggested with regard to issues with dad, like he seems to be of no support to me and kind of blames me for it all, inculding stevens issues, that I try not going to mum and dad for advice. Sort of cut them out, as she says once they havent heard from me in a week, they'll b on the phone asking how I am. I felt much better about it after talking with her.

What do you think about the idea with mum and dad?

xx

[Scarlet]

Good idea with regards to your mum and dad Sarah. Don't give them the cold shoulder, but only tell them things on a need to know basis for the time being. Perhaps then they might realise they have been a bit hard on you and be more supportive.

[winegirl]

I agree, good advice from the HV! Just keep things with them a bit routine and don't go into things much with them and they might start to understand that they have pushed you away and make more of an effort.
Good news about the weigh in! Think I have talked to you about Steven on another thread x

Winegirl x

[stevensmummy]

Hi,

Bit of mixed nwes for the past few days. On thur I got a phone call from the housing assoc to say we had been offered a house in a new housing scheme in Banchory, the local village. There is 2 applicants been put forward from the council, but 2 cut a long story short, she came round to see me on fri and basically the house is pretty much ours if we want it, shes about 95% sure we can have it the other lady pulled out se has a private let and wasnt aware she was still on the list. The last family that were in have wrecked the house a bit and its been sorted out buy joiners builders etc just now so once the housing assoc get the keys back we can see it and get the process going. We had a look from the outside and thro the windows. Seems a nice area and the house looks ok, if not a little small. Bedrooms r upstairs so couldnt get a look at them. I wasnt holding out much hope but sice seeing in the sitting room maybe its not so small as it looks. I think we should hear and get a formal offer early this week. She hoped we would get the keys and we can view it in a week or 2 and we could be in for the beginning of the month. Scary! I'm not sure what I really think about moving. Everyone keeps sayong oh great, fantastic etc etc. And yes it is, I think the lack of driving and being on the farm making it pretty isolating, alot of my issues with pni. And yes i will be in the village and can walk to groups etc. BUT and I say but, I have familiarity here, there are no nosy neighbours, no fear of talking too loud and people hearing my problems, I have the freedom for my dog, I have the sanctury of the river at my door step, my area for stress relief. I want out of here, I keep saying I'll go totally off my head if I have to stay here, but I'm afriad to go too. I'm afraid i wont be comfortable there, I'm afraid I wont like it really and be in the make do attitude, in which case I fear I may make all this all the worse. Is it really possible to move house with PNI? Am I being silly now?

With regard to my parents, I decided yep, i'll keep it shut, I'll go for, as you say scarlet, a need to know basis. But I was getting comfortable. I hadn't seen them all week until friday, I mentioned we'd been to gran for halloween with steven and mum seemed taken a back by not going to them. I kind of thought it was working, but the whole house thing threw me and I started to discuss it. When i expressed my fears to her I got the old responses. Dont be stupid of course you'll take it, who cares if you cant fit in your wardrobe, who cares if its not big and the boys are a squeeze. It'll all be ok, your just beong stupid. Its only moving house, now you really are being ridiculous. You have far too much crap anyway, you need a skip, half your stuff needs got rid of and of course you'll fit. i got a lecture on the number of pairs of knickers i should have. Apparently i need only have 14 pairs, otherwise i'm just wasting space, the same goes for socks! I mean come on now whos being ridiculous!!!!!! I'm overreacting arent i? I cant help it, my heads in a spin at the thought of all this. I'm not sure how to move forward from here. I'm going fot a strict need to know basis. I dont know how else to react, its difficult. I feel I need support but when I ask I get it shoved back at me.

Any advice? xx

[Scarlet]

Sarah hun,

I promise I'll get back to you on this one, bubs just woke up as I started typing and I've gotta take my boys out now, as my eldest is off school today, and we are going for lunch somewhere.....as usual I have some thoughts (winks)


Hugs

Scarlet
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[Scarlet]

Hiya Sarah,

Hope you are feeling a bit better today hun.

Have you had the formal offer for your house yet? It sounds like a nice house and in an area where you might get the chance to meet other people...

I think living on a farm can be a lonely existence if you are out in the sticks. And because you don't drive, I imagine it's pretty difficult to get out and about, so you spend a lot of your days in or around your house and you are pretty isolated by the sounds of it. I drive, but I don't have a car over here, and because of that I made sure we got a place in the middle of the city centre, because I like the hustle and bustle of city life, and I like to be around loads of people ~ I guess like you, being in a city for me is a security blanket, whereas your security blanket has been your farm, and you are finding it hard to let go and start a new life.

I think you have to weigh up the pros and cons hun. Sounds like you like the solitude and familiarity of your farm, and not having to worry about nosy neighbours and talking too loud. Plus you have a place for your dog and a lovely river running near your house. The new house will provide a totally different life, but one where you could start a fresh and the chance to make some friends and be closer to other people.

I'd say it is possible to move when you have PNI, and many have, and sometimes it's for the best... a change is as good as a rest so they say. What does your hubby say?, is he keen on the new house/area. Are there facilities nearby, shops, schools etc...

As for your parents, well you tried, but I know how difficult it is sometimes. I think you expected a different reaction from your mum and dad, for them to be a little more understanding. Perhaps they are hoping that they will snap you out of your PNI by telling you not to be stupid (not sure if you actually told them). Sometimes parents don't know how to act, and it sounds to me as if they don't fully understand what you are going through. Would it be possible to sit them down one day and open up to them, without getting into a conflict, do you think that would work?

As for having too much stuff, well I have loads of crap as well, and I most definitely will need a skip when we move. I think it depends on whether you feel your mum and dad were having a dig in this regard, or just being caring in their own way. Having PNI can make us supersensitive, and we see criticism when it's not there hun....could that be a possibilty? I know that I'm more touchy these days, especially with hubby.

I should sit down with your hubby, and perhaps write a list of all the pros and cons of moving, and work out in the long run, where the better place would be, for both you and hubby and your kids. Are your children going to have more friends in a neighbourhood, and more opportunities for after school activities, nursery places etc...what about work for you, getting to the shops more easily, more local facilities, health centres, possibilities of social interacion or do you think that farm life is a better option, all the open space and healthy living.

Keep talking hun and let us know what you think.

Thinking of you as always

Scarlet
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[winegirl]

Just wanted to say that I think Scarlet's idea of writing a list of pros and cons is a great idea. In my opinion I think you would be happier in the long run if you moved, but I know moving can be stressful with a bub in tow.

We are always here listening when you need us, and let us know what you decide x

Winegirl x

[stevensmummy]

Thanks girls,

Just quick one my grandmother is on her way and I'd rather she not catch me on here. Too much explaining. I will get round to a better update and response when I get a chance (hopefully). The pros and cons idea sounds like a good one. i had a good talk with michael last night in the car and he seemed to see my worries, although his ending response was, well if its going to make it worse then we wont move. i still think we need to talk about it better. As i said to michael, noone understands what its really like. So very few see how it feels to have this terrible illness and how horrendous such silly things as moving house can seem when this is an issue in your life every minute.

My gran, who reound 2day, gave me a bit of a lecture about being silly not to take the house and how its selfish for the kids if i dont go. My dad said something once that made me thingk gran could possibly have left similar to me at one stage in her life. I do wonder if I should try to express my fears to her. i might see how it goes and let you know. I might not be brave enough to talk about it. She can be an old nag sometimes, lol.

Thanks tho, i'll let you know and hopefully get back asap

xxx