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Post by Scarlet on Oct 27, 2007 12:59:40 GMT
Liz you are a fab mum,
Don't worry about the housework. A list is a great idea, I bet most folks don't clean up a room every day....
I admire you teaching your kids at home, it's a huge undertaking, and even if you don't think you are supermum, I think you are. Hope you have a lovely weekend hun.
Scarlet X
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 27, 2007 19:32:10 GMT
Well not sure how on earth this happened but I have seen 2 of my children today that live with my ex I havent seen them for alomsot 2 years. My 15 year old ( 16 tomorrow) went to meet my other daughter today. It seems they have been fed a lot of crap and pretty much assumed they were not wanted by me. The sad thing is that my other son wasnt allowed to come and my daughter broke her heart as she left him in tears as the 2 older ones were allowed to see us but not him. To be honest this shows what my ex is like. Ex has said 12 and 13 year old can make their own decisions but 8 year old cant. Ex has also said that my daughter has caused a lot of harm by meeting her sister !!!!!!!! The 2 that came round met their brother for the first time and really enjoyed seeing the others again. My 5 year old started crying when they were going which started my 12 year old off and then me, we looked a mess. At least I have managed to tell them I love them and that they are always welcome and always have been. Also showed them we have their pics up so the littlies never forgot them. I have got some pics today too so I am feeling really good. Looks like ex is going to block me seeing them as much as possible now but I think that now the truth has emerged about me they may just turn up here when they want to. Am sure I will get a letter from exs solicitor but I am used to it. Ex use to keep a record of every word I said and at what time in case there was something that could be used against me. In fact my daughter was told today by my ex that I was a backstabber saying that they could see me as I couldnt be bothered to turn up at court. This all happened when PNI first hit me badly, my mum had just died and my solicitor informed me my legal aid was useless the day before the court appearance. I went into shut down and gave up. Dont know why I am saying all this on here but I know you lot will understand that when you think you have done something awful that cant be changed it is a real boost when you find you can do something about it. Liz x
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Post by winegirl on Oct 27, 2007 20:24:41 GMT
Thats great Liz! I really hope this can be the start of a different way for you and your kids. You must be buzzing after today!
So pleased for you hun x
Winegirl x
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Post by Jay on Oct 28, 2007 15:36:39 GMT
Hi Liz I am glad you can talk and get all that stress and thoughts out of you. You have certainly had a lot to put up with. I am so glad you got to see some of your children, your ex is really hurtful to you, but as you say the children may turn up on their own in future. You are doing your best, and still trying to do better. All this and the house work is a lot, and there you are talking about home study. What do you think you will study?
Somehow even with all the problems you are a strong person. HUGS Jay xx
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 28, 2007 17:39:42 GMT
Have had to be strong and looks like I will have to pull out even more now. My daughter was meant to go to my exs to see others today but was told not to. We had a text saying not to contact them again as my 17 year old has done something and caused trouble. I am not sure if this is just an excuse to stop us seeing them or if he has done something but this is how easily my ex likes to mess the kids about. I can see us ending up in court so I can see them but not sure if I am strong enough to go through it all again. I have felt like crap all day as it seems like whenever things go right they just go wrong again. Cant believe my ex wont even give me a reason, my 5 year old will be devasted if she cant see them anymore. Why do people think they can play with kids minds like this. Liz x
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Post by winegirl on Oct 28, 2007 21:13:04 GMT
I think you should definately consider the court thing. If they can legally put in place structured, routine access taht has to be adhered to then you, your ex and the kids will all know where they stand.
Certainly sounds like your ex is just coming up with excuses to stop you having contact with them to me.
Sorry you have had such a rough day hun x Here for you and listening x
Winegirl x
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 31, 2007 13:59:49 GMT
Quick update. Hubby spoke to his boss at evening job. Got him to agree to 40 hours a week so he doesnt have to do the day job yes I am on my own in the evenings but this means I can get me time when kids are in bed. Also means we can do things together during the day. His boss was actually really happy and has asked if hubby will learn a few more of the jobs and then he can up his wages too. Still not heard anything about other kids but am not rushing things as I need to do things slowly so I dont end up stressing again. I am actually starting to feel sort of normal again. I think the tablets have really kicked in now as not so tearful and can deal with things a lot more calmly now. Hope this is a good sign Liz x
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Post by winegirl on Oct 31, 2007 16:00:21 GMT
Hi Liz
Glad you are starting to feel better mate x Good news on hubby's job. I would also love to have evenings to myself once little one is in bed! Hope things keep picking up for you x
Winegirl x
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Post by southerngirl on Nov 1, 2007 21:01:37 GMT
After the hassle I have had with kids etc I am feeling a lot stronger. As some of you may know I have pretty much let people know about me now. I was worried that I could be traced on this site but I dont care now. This site and the support it gives women like me has given me a lot of strength to stand up and not be ashamed anymore. The one reason I tried to stay hidden is my ex. I went through hell and didnt want to show weakness. Well I am not weak but ill, well recovering anyway I think I have taken that major step I needed to regain control again. Things have been getting easier but I just feel like I am me again, I havent felt like this in so long. Veritee, wherever you are tongiht I send a special thank you. I would never have got through this so easily without this wonderful site. Liz x going back to hide now I have done the soppy bit lol
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Post by winegirl on Nov 1, 2007 21:41:05 GMT
Thats great Liz! And I am glad your wee secret is out! I think its fab what you did and you are clearly very brave (or mad!) Lol xx
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Post by sianyc on Nov 1, 2007 21:43:31 GMT
Just wanted to say that I've been reading through your diary and you are a very strong person.
I'm really pleased for you and hope that you can continue to see the children that live with the ex (sounds like a right prat by the way)
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Post by southerngirl on Nov 1, 2007 21:57:52 GMT
Prat could be one name lol. Well here you go Winegirl, some piccies, older ones as these are the only ones I have with most of the tribe. Also one of me with trio was when Tinny was about 3 months old. So you may recognise me now. Liz x
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Post by cheshire on Nov 2, 2007 9:24:20 GMT
Hiya Liz Love the photos - WOW - how do you cope with that many? Sending hugs Hopefulxx
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Post by caterina on Nov 2, 2007 10:33:49 GMT
WOW! Do I count 7?!?!?!? Well done you for coping with so many children! Will keep an eye out for your birth on TV! xx
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Post by southerngirl on Nov 2, 2007 10:47:40 GMT
Have got 10 little rats but only 6 live at home now. Oldest is 20 and youngest is 15 months. I will have to get an updated pic soon Liz x
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