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Post by Scarlet on Dec 20, 2007 8:07:53 GMT
Hiya Flobob, If you are peeking in and not gone yet, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you have a fab time in Poole. I'm glad the blip was short-lived hun and it was probably due to PMT ....Bloody PMT *&^%$!!! Yep it's around 26-28 days hun, but don't worry about next months already will you, just get yourself off and have a good time Speak to you when you get back Love and hugs Scarlet X
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Post by sianyc on Dec 20, 2007 12:17:31 GMT
Have a good time x
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flobob
Senior Member
Posts: 357
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Post by flobob on Dec 21, 2007 13:31:09 GMT
Hello Look I'm online! My OH left his laptop at the flat. This morning I thought he'd just forgotten it and would be back. But he hasn't come back and I think he actually left it here for me Just thought I'd update. The journey here was fine. It was quite fun for both me and LO on the train. But it was tiring. I have a child that doesn't sleep! At one point I said to him "are you sleepy?" "yes" "come and cuddle mummy and have a sleep". He climbed on my lap, rested his head on me and I thought, oh lovely. Then 3 seconds later he was head up and chatting and wanting to get down again to play. I was very tired last night and went to bed at 9pm. And still feeling tired today. But glad I could come on here after all. Just gives me that little bit of reassurance that there is somewhere to talk. FloBob x
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Post by Scarlet on Dec 21, 2007 15:39:55 GMT
lol Flobob, couldn't you keep away hun Glad things are going ok for you ~ keep us updated when you get the chance, you know we are thnking about you. Hugs Scarlet X
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flobob
Senior Member
Posts: 357
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Post by flobob on Jan 1, 2008 21:34:22 GMT
Just a quick update to say I SURVIVED CHRISTMAS!!! It feels like a big achievement And we went out on New Year's Eve and I didn't have major panics beforehand or whilst out. Had some little panics beforehand but not major ones. So proud of myself because I feel this is proof that I am getting better. I will come back and write all about it sometime soon. FloBob x
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Post by winegirl on Jan 1, 2008 21:45:58 GMT
Hi Flobob
Thats great hun! You did so well! Its nice when you start to realise that you are getting better isnt it? Well done you x Look forward to hearing the details soon x
Take Care
WG x
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Post by Jay on Jan 2, 2008 4:47:46 GMT
Hi Flobob
Your last post sounded really positive, and you did so well managing New Years Eve and Christmas. Well Done You!!
Take care Jay xx
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Post by Scarlet on Jan 2, 2008 9:22:00 GMT
Well done Flobob, I knew you could do it. You are getting better hun, there's no doubt about that.
Love and hugs
Scarlet X
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Post by hyperhaggis on Jan 3, 2008 21:22:08 GMT
hiya flobob,sorry ive not been around for you babes,drop me a note when you get back and let me know how it all went xxxx
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flobob
Senior Member
Posts: 357
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Post by flobob on Jan 4, 2008 1:52:14 GMT
Hello Hyper - I've sent you pm So pleased to hear from you WG, Scarlet and Jay - thank you all for your messages. Yes I am feeling positive. All that worrying before going away - especially about not having enough clothes to pack! Guess what - we put them in the washing machine whilst staying in Poole! Amazing this technology isn't it? And how dumb was I not to think of something like that? Just shows how overwhelmed I was not to be able to think straight. And actually we then left a load of stuff in the tumble drier when we left and we've managed without it. OH will bring it home tomorrow. The scary part of Xmas was having to spend time with OH's parents. But whilst we were in Poole just the 3 of us I was fine and stopped myself from thinking about Xmas itself. So that was good. Whilst at his parents I was OK most of the time. And OH did keep coming to ask me quietly how I was. Which was great because normally he won't even speak to me and I always feel in a real "them" and "me" situation. And he is always on the same side as his parents and not on my side against them. The worst bit was on Xmas Eve when I was putting LO to bed. They have a bungalow so I could still hear the conversation going on in the living room. His parents were telling him that we should write a will in case anything were to happen to us and who would look after LO - I could hear that and logically knew that was what they were talking about. But what I heard in my head was "when she dies we'll have your son" and I was so upset and angry and nearly went in to depression over it. But I stopped myself and thought really hard about the actual words I could hear from the living room and not the interpretation I was putting on it. At some point when I'm feeling fine I'll talk to OH about this. They're probably right we should write a will - and I definitely don't want his parents to bring up our boy. As much as I love my OH he is an emotional vacuum and I can see it is because of the way they are and I don't want our son to become the same sort of person emotionally. The worst part of being there was the boredom. They are such boring people! So that in itself was good. That I was just bored by them and not scared by them any more. They scared me before because of what I thought they could do to me - make my husband divorce me, take my son away, turn my son against me, tell my son I didn't love him. Anyway I won't be going there for Xmas again I've decided. If they want to see their grandson over Xmas they can come to us - that wouldn't be so bad as we could do it our way and not have to do it their boring way. No drinking, no laughs - I went to bed around 9pm on Xmas day!!! Oh well, sigh, FloBob x
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Post by Scarlet on Jan 4, 2008 9:03:07 GMT
His parents were telling him that we should write a will in case anything were to happen to us and who would look after LO Blimey sobering people eh! Flobob, what a thing to suggest AT XMAS no less If fact I should get hubby to write his this evening now that you have reminded me . Actually it is a good idea to have a will, but I can understand why you imagination was working in overdrive having heard it. I would have been the same, wondering what their intentions were, especially when I was at my worst. Anyways glad you survived it hun. Next year invite them down to yours, that's a good idea. Hugs Scarlet X so they had a washing machine did they ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by winegirl on Jan 4, 2008 19:58:15 GMT
Hi Flobob
Glad you had an ok time, all be it with the inlaws! I love Poole and would love to go and live there! Did you go roud the harbour while you were there?
You might as well get moving with that will, if only to make sure the inlaws wouldnt get your son! Its something i keep meaning to do myself, but not something I would have thought ove at Xmas!
Anyway, its great to have you back hun x
WG x
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Post by monica on Jan 4, 2008 22:52:42 GMT
Hi
Glad the festive season went well for you. The way you managed to rationalise about the conversation re:wills at your in laws is a sure sign you are well on the way to recovery. I imagine once upon a time it would have sent you spiralling so a huge pat on the back for that.
Love
Monica
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flobob
Senior Member
Posts: 357
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Post by flobob on Jan 8, 2008 20:47:46 GMT
Yeah, realise now that in-laws really have no idea how to celebrate and have fun. You're right that was a boring depressing thing to talk about. Another "interesting" conversations - what headache medicine to take!!! Oh well, it's done now and I survived it. Cheers Marion, you're right I wouldn't have been able to cope with hearing that conversation before, so yep, I'm getting better. I want to tell my OH about this - the difference between what I actually hear and what I "hear" in my head, and how now I can overcome the second bit with a lot of work but before I couldn't overcome it. I'm not sure if he'll understand me though. I've had a rough few days - lack of sleep not helping. But I'm going to bed soon so hopefully tonight both me and LO will sleep well and I'll feel up again tomorrow. Every song I heard on the radio yesterday made me cry, even the happy up-beat songs. And everything I did was upsetting. But me and LO went to the library in the morning and a long walk in the afternoon. LO was such a trooper walking for ages in the afternoon - it was fun with our wellies on tramping in the mud and splashing in the puddles I was tired but I was also trying to tire him out LOL. He was so sweet he held my hand nearly the whole time. I am trying to hold on to the fact that I'm getting better and when something upsets me I'm trying to see that it is just one thing that is upsetting and that needn't affect the next thing I do. My OH is going ski-ing at the end of January. He's such a pig! I was very upset when he booked it in November. How could he leave me alone for the weekend when he's already away all week? But it's done. I've put it out of my mind but my Mum reminded me today because she asked when he was going away, but I don't actually know. I've only told one friend that he's going because again I'm ashamed of myself - if I was worth it he'd be with me. And it was kind of an accident that I told my parents. I was hoping that if I didn't mention it and didn't see them that weekend then I wouldn't have to tell them he was going away. Which is stupid really because no doubt he'd say "when I was ski-ing ..." to them at some time (he gets on with my parents and has normal conversations) and then it would be odd that I hadn't mentioned it at the time. Maybe if I just keep ignoring it I'll be fine? But thinking about it now that is what I did about Xmas and going to his parents and when the inevitable happened and I had to go there I had a major panic. But maybe I won't with this as I'm not going away and can be at home. Confused again. I want to write more about things that have been going on with me now and I really want to rant on a bit about how PNI started for me and what happened before I found this site - just to get it all out of my head - but I also really want to go to bed and sleep. Good night x FloBob
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Post by winegirl on Jan 8, 2008 20:52:06 GMT
Hi Flobob
Plenty of time for the ranting babes, go and get yourself some rest babes (not long before I hit the sack myself!)
Look upon your OH going away for the weekend as positive thing. When my OH has had to stay at work till 11pm or something on a couple of occasions I have loved it, feeling like I had the house to myself! Getting LO to bed, pouring a glass of wine, watching what i want on telly, treating myself to a chinese etc.. I love it! Just try to look at it like that if you can.
Hope you get enough sleep tonight hun x
Take Care
WG x
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