anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 11, 2007 21:21:10 GMT
Not sure where to start or what to say but it may help if I put my feelings into words and write them down.
I am feeling kinda low today, tears come from no where and about nothing in particular. My head is pounding with voices and worries. My fear of the outside is getting worse and i can't see a light at the end of th tunnel.
I feel all alone, like no-ones there or that no-one cares, not that i have told people, i mean what would they think? I found this website today and i am so glad i did, maybe its the first step of the healing process which i so yern for. I have always been so strong and now I just feel weak and hopeless, worried that my daughter is being let down. I hate not being able to take her to places like all of the other mums and i hate being alone.
|
|
anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 11, 2007 21:26:22 GMT
I hate being scared of the phone ringing of someone knocking at the door or people comming by to visit, I just want to go and hide away. I sit and watch the clock waiting for my husband to come home so at least i can talk to somebody.
Sometimes even the little things get to me, and i can get upset about the smallest of things. My thoughts are always negative and never seem to be positive, i always fear the worst.
Sometimes i just hate being me!
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Dec 11, 2007 21:26:56 GMT
Hi Anita.
Well done on starting your new Diary! I hope you don't mind me posting in here?
Honestly everything you say is me a year or so ago. I hated the fact that all these other mums were taking their babies here and there and all i could do was stay in doors all day with my LO.
I promise, it really does get better. I know giving it time is hard to do, but you just have to hang in there.
We care hun, I hope we can suport you on this jouney x
Take Care
WG x
|
|
anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 11, 2007 21:52:02 GMT
I really apreciate your kind words and support thankyou x
|
|
anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 12, 2007 10:40:54 GMT
Today is such a bad day, I am trying my best to cope but Lily is constantly crying no matter what i do, her cry is going straight through me and my head is pounding. Think she knows that i am having a bad day. Tablets don't seem to be working i am feeling just as anxious as i used to. I really hate feeling like this!
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Dec 12, 2007 10:46:19 GMT
Hi Anita
Sorry I didnt know which thread to reply to you in so have replied in your other one. Can you pacify her with milk at all? Is there anyone you can ring to come ad give you a hand for an hour?
WG x
|
|
anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 12, 2007 10:50:31 GMT
No everyones at work or lives far away. Tried her with milk, changed her nappy, put her down for a nap etc etc but nothing seems to be working. I wasn't sure which thread i should put a comment on as the introduce one just doesn't seem right so thats why i also put it on the PNI one as thought that was more suited
xx
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Dec 12, 2007 10:52:04 GMT
Have you got one one of those bouncy cradles or something? I used to rock my LO in that also. Or try and out her down on playmat/ floor whatever and play with her to distract her for a bit. I know its really tough hun, but I promise it gets better x
|
|
anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 12, 2007 17:34:30 GMT
Well this evening seems to be way better than this morning, I feel alot more under control. Lily has finally gone to sleep and I finally have some time to myself. Was going to try to go out but everytime i thought about it i would panic. Tommorrow is moving day and is going to be a little stressful but hopefully I can keep my cool and at least my husband will be with me. I feel really numb this evening not sure what that is but thats the best way i can describe it. Managed to answer the phone after some deep breaths which is an improvement, it was only my husband so wasn't that bad!. I just want to be like other mums taking Lily out to the park or to the shops, i feel awful that most of the time she is stuck in with me. But tommorrows a new day and hopefully a better one
|
|
|
Post by Scarlet on Dec 12, 2007 17:42:14 GMT
Anita,
Welcome to the forum hun,
Glad that things have improved a bit from this morning. Feeling numb usually follows a period of anxiety and as the anxiety lessens so does the numbness.
Tomorrow is most certainly a new day and don't worry if you can't get out to the park, as it's probably too cold... Do try and get out for a little walk each day if you can though, to the shops/friends even for just a walk around the block, it really helps with recovery.
Hugs
Scarlet X
|
|
anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 12, 2007 17:48:46 GMT
I'm going to try thanks Scarlet X
|
|
Bobyn
Senior Member
Posts: 454
|
Post by Bobyn on Dec 13, 2007 19:20:37 GMT
Hi Anita,
Hope you don't mind me butting in on your diary. Just wanted to say hi and say congratulations (if that's the right term!) for starting your diary. I've found it really useful to be able to voice my thoughts on the day and say how I'm feeling without anyone judging me. It will get better over time. Scarlet is right about getting out if you can manage it once a day or so. I find that when baby number 2 is whinging and my 3 year old starts too I take them over to the park. The buggy ride usually settles the baby and the 3 year old seems to make a friend to run off with - the result is 10 minutes peace sitting on the bench! I hate rainy days as I'm trapped in the house and it always makes me feel worse. Good luck moving and take care. Love, Bobyn x
|
|
|
Post by Veritee on Dec 16, 2007 22:20:05 GMT
I just wondered how you are today?
Is there anything you want to talk about ? we are here if you do
Or you can PM ( personal message) me or any moderator I hope things are better for you Let us know if you feel you can
Veritee XX
|
|
anita123
Senior Member
I have a little girl who is 8 months old.
Posts: 172
|
Post by anita123 on Dec 16, 2007 22:54:45 GMT
Hi,
I am feeling a little better today although have a terrible headache and it is making me feel edgy, everytime she cries today i really can't take it but my husband is around today to take her off my hands for a bit of R and R, but back to being on my own tommorrow. I hate not knowing how i am going to feel, one minute i can be fine the next i am not, i feel all over the place at the mo. I dread mondays, i hope tommorrow is ok. Thanks for caring it is so good to talk and let out how i'm feeling instead of keeping it locked up inside Anita XX
|
|
|
Post by Veritee on Dec 16, 2007 23:35:00 GMT
I am glad today was better and your husband was around.
but we are around tomorrow and while I understand that over the Internet we can not be there to talk or support you practically, face to face .
but we will be here tomorrow if you need to talk .
The ups and downs of how you feel can be terrible - not knowing how you will feel from one day to the next.
On here we call it the 'ups and downs' or 'yoyoing'
But please come on here if we can help at all and we will be here tomorrow
Veritee XX
|
|