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Post by Scarlet on May 23, 2008 14:13:37 GMT
Hi JM, I know exactly what you mean about the thoughts as you said in Cokeys thread. I have had the one about feeling as if you would fall off the world, and I know all about gravity as well from school . Don't worry about feeling embarrassed about any of the thoughts, even though they can seem quite bizaar at times. I have had some real daft ones myself. Did you read my ramblings on the hamster wheel of obsessive thoughts, which is how it was for me when I had them, bet it sounds familiar.....I promise you that you will learn to get off the wheel in time hun... we all do. veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=thoughts&action=display&thread=4029&page=4Glad you aer feeling a wee bit better hun. Lovely weekend xxxx
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Post by justme31 on May 27, 2008 15:26:02 GMT
Have just come on here for a moan really!! Its sometimes easier to talk to u guys then the people close to me.... thats sad innit but i dont feel like my family/friends understand how am feelin. Am having a bit of a bad time at the moment partly due to the pni.. am due on and my OCD seems to have gone into overdrive. Am worryin that I have some terrible mental illness and nobody has noticed lol must of have it a long time innit!! Also am having problems at home at the moment and things r not great with my OH.... My brother has decided to move himself in our house and we are really skint at the moment and cant afford for him to live here/ feed him etc but i feel like i cant say no even though i know he has other places that he can go. This is causin so many problems with my OH and along with the pni i am findin it really hard to cope with. I understand my OH's point... he says it like the house is an hotel and my son has had to give up his room for my brother and move into our room so we dont get any time alone together. I feel like leaving home i have just had enough.... am tryna cope with the OCD and i cant cope with all the other stuff.
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Post by cokey on May 27, 2008 15:38:06 GMT
Its so hard isn't it Claire. I think the right thing to do here is to tell your brother how things are and say it would be helpful just right now if he could go elsewhere. If he can find somewhere great, if not you have tried for your OH. Can't be much fun for your son either.
Bless you, puts my whinging into perspective.
On weird thoughts my mum had a thought that the world was some kind of wallpaper and if she dared, she could rip it!!
Funny how we all have these odd thoughts eh?
Off to take my evening primrose oil - down with PMT I say!!
Cokey xxx
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Post by winegirl on May 27, 2008 17:19:15 GMT
Hi Claire
No wonder you are struggling a bit it the mo with the PNI with all the extra stress you are putting up with! Have you asked your brother how long he plans to stop for? Perhaps you just need to mention to him that he is always welcome with you but you have your relationship with your family t think about as well?
Do you think you could talk to him like this?
Always listening xx
WG x
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Post by justme31 on May 28, 2008 9:21:22 GMT
Cokey my son loves it.... we have sky in our room so thinks he doesnt wana go back to his own room!! The thoughts r strange aint they? I can b doing something and all of a sudden something really weird pops in my head. I think the trouble with OCD is not the weird thoughts everyone probably has them... it the analysin of them. When i get a weird thought i start thinkin what u thinkin that for then get obssessive about it and my anxiety goes into overdrive. The OCD was bad last night i thought i hadnt locked my other halveswork van when i went to get something outta it.... i must have went out and checked at least 30 times lol i can laugh about the checkin etc cos i know it is OCD but some of the other thoughts i get i think nah that cant b OCD i must b mad/schizo etc! In regards to my brother and talkin to him about the situation hmmm well lol He is one of the most difficult people ive ever met WG... i told him to clean the bath one day and he got the hump and didnt talk to me for a year and a half! Am tryna drop hints at the moment about the lack of room in our house and the fact that we are strugglin with money...am hopin that will work. I can so understand why my OH is pissed off about it all... my brother has an excellent career and earns 4 times as much as we do in a year. The problem is that he has jacked in his job cos he is so moody and the ppl there were gettin on his nerves.. he has no money cos of havin no job and we are expected to look after him until he finds a new one. I can understand why OH is peed off but at the end of the day my brother is my family so what do i do?
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Post by winegirl on May 28, 2008 10:11:32 GMT
Hi JM
Sounds like your brother has jacked in a good job there! Is he actively looking for a new job and accomodation? You are stuck in the middle really, a difficult position with loyalties to your OH and your brother. Could you be super hint dropping like getting him copies of job vacancies, flats to let etc.. just so that he knows not to make himself too comfortable!
Know what you mean about the thoughts, its not so much the thought itself bout the over analysing and obsessing about it. I am one to check the stair gate is shut at least 10 times, the oven is off, the bolt is on the door etc. I think I have always done it but it has been worse since PNI. I can get myself in a right state about it and imagine scenarios of what would happen if I had not done these things etc.. But it does get better, I have definately eased off with it these days.
Hope you are ok otherwise? Always listening when you need to vent x
WG xx
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Post by cokey on May 28, 2008 13:05:30 GMT
I always have to check the gas ring is off. I have always done that, I even bought a 'gas monitor' before I accepted I had PNI again. I sometimes even think Paul may have left it on on purpose. I don't believe he would be the fear he might makes me do the safety checking. Its just safety behaviour to keep us safe from the idea of things.
I hate the analysing. The thought itsefl is not what upsets me, just where it is leading to and what it means when really we should fully accept it came from nowehere and means nothing at all.
If only it was always that easy.
Hope you are okay JM.
Cokey xxx
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Post by justme31 on Jun 4, 2008 13:03:15 GMT
Just came on here for a rant!! Am really struggling at the moment.... thinkin i am psychotic again. Am having a really hard time dealing with the thoughts and i feel so spaced out like am walking round in a daze and cant think straight. Have tried today and yesterday to keep myself occupied but the thoughts are there 24/7 at the moment. I just feel like I cant focus on anything cos am always aware of what am thinkin.... dunno if that makes sense. I have a splittin headache today am thinkin thats cos my brain is on overload with all the thoughts. Feel like i dunno what to do...... what about if i am mad and this is just the start of it all or what about if i never recover and this is the way am gunna b forever?
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Post by winegirl on Jun 4, 2008 14:32:12 GMT
Hi JM
Sounds like you are on blip time to me. You are not psychotic, you have PNI, which will go. You just have to keep telling yourself that when you feel like this.
I felt like you with not being able to focus and the head etc.. and there way days were I was just convinced I was mad. But I promise it will improve! Is it that time of the month or anything? Any trigger for the blip??
WG x
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Post by cokey on Jun 4, 2008 17:01:39 GMT
Hey JM
If you are psychotic then so must I be then. Gosh I could have written your post, that is exactly how I am today. I can almost see myself being psychotic. Its very scary. I am really preoccupied too and have a headache.
Its just so awful right now but we have gotten past this bad bit before.
Must be time of the month cos we are due on at the same time every month and feel the same every month.
<virtually holding your hand>
I am here for you Claire - we have each other and we will pull through.
Cokey xxx
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Post by Scarlet on Jun 5, 2008 7:48:29 GMT
I just feel like I cant focus on anything cos am always aware of what am thinkin.... dunno if that makes sense
Yep know what you mean exactly, Had this feeling many, many times.
what about if i am mad and this is just the start of it all or what about if i never recover and this is the way am gunna b forever
You are NOT mad, or going mad, and you won't be this way forever, honestly you won't. Just carry on your day best you can no matter how you feel, and distract yourself whenever you can, even if it's only for brief moments.... If thoughts come into your head, accept them and then alter your train of thought onto something else.
pmed you hun
xxx
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Post by justme31 on Jun 5, 2008 9:46:37 GMT
Hi WG,Cokey and Scarlett..... hope u all ok. Was wonderin if u were ok Cokey cos I know u aint feelin too great at the moment.... like u said we will get through it although it dont feel like that when u r in the midst of it does it? I am still really strugglin the thoughts r terrible and am thinkin all these mad things... lol... the lastest one is the anti depressants are makin me feel like shit and i cant take any more...... i will explain! As u know am takin the Cipralex at the moment and i run out at the weekend so had to get a new prescription.. anyways went to another chemist to get them(not my normal one) and the packagin on the Cipralex is different anyways since i started takin these ones i feel terrible( This is probably cos of bein on not the tabs i know that rationally) Anyways now am scared to take the tabs cos i think they are gunna send me mad and keep thinkin what if they are different to my normal meds cos i went to another chemist!!lol how daft is that. Am strugglin so bad am 100% convinced that i am psychotic at the moment. Have got an appointment with the shrink at 1 this afternoon.... am scared to go cos am scared he is gunna tell me am schizo or that there is something terrible wrong with me. Also I dont like going to see him cos some of the patients there scare me and trigger my thoughts worse... I always worry Shit is that what I am gunna b like when i see the people there that are really ill. Anyways enough of my ramblings have probably bored u all now!! Have got to see the therapist at 5 today also so am hopin that will help. Claire xx
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Post by Scarlet on Jun 5, 2008 9:58:12 GMT
JM,
Check out google images, there are a few for cipralex and it comes under a few names. WG is on this one, and swears by it.... I think as long as it says cipralex, then no worries about the packaging.
You are not psychotic or schizophrenic and there's nothing else wrong with you apart from anxiety, else you would have been told by now, and you can guarantee after your psych appt. you will be back to your house getting on with your life again. Please try not to worry about any of the other patients either.
xxx
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Post by cokey on Jun 5, 2008 14:52:30 GMT
Hi Claire
Let us know how your appt goes, I am sure it will help reassure you. I am the same as you right now, I keep thinking I will make myself psychotic and I am analysing my every action. Its all plain ridiculous but we are just in the middle of a huge blip.
You will be fine, its just the worst thing to have to suffer like this in the meantime but if you can, once your shrink has reassured you, try and distract yourself. Its not easy, I have been trying the past few days but the harder you psuh the quicker the relief will come.
Cokey xxxx
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Post by mummydonna on Jun 5, 2008 18:18:33 GMT
hey hope you don't mind me replying to ur thread. Just wanted to let you know that I have felt like I'm totally cracking up and having the strangest obsessions and intrusive thoughts...my latest blip sent me right back to the madness but it is passing...hope yours passes soon and the appointment went well
D <hugs>
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