larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
|
Post by larsbars on May 11, 2009 17:15:34 GMT
Hi Cokey,
Sorry you are having a shit time at the moment. I so know how you feel when you say you are in a bubble. I think it is an analagy that I have used before. It's kind of like you are in the bubble and not in your life living it. It's horrible and I completely know how it feels. I'm going through a hard time with my OH at the moment. I don't think that I am in love with him any more and I can't take pretending any more. I have tried so hard to pretend that everything is ok but deep down I know it's not. I too feel like I am going to explode tonight. I am sitting here shaking and in a mild sweat because I know I have to get things off of my chest and it's awful but I know that if I don't let my feelings out they will make me feel 10 times worse. I am hoping to get on here later and post in my diary. It will take too long at the moment but make sure you do get your feelings out. Stand your ground on the florida thing. Like you said...being in a foreign country you don't want to be put in any awkward positions so get things out in the open before you go.
Anyway...best go and sort the dinner...not that I feel like eating!
Take care x
|
|
|
Post by cokey on May 11, 2009 19:14:17 GMT
Hi Lara
I am sorry thinsg are so bad for you tonight. Sometimes our emotions are unbearable but I must say I have gotten a lot of stuff off my chest with paul and things seem better, so take your own advice.
You know where I am if you eed to talk.# Cokey xx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on May 14, 2009 16:45:00 GMT
Hello Ladies
Well I am not so bad with the OCD at the moment but I just seem bogged down with worry, not about anyspecific thing just worry itself and how it is affecting. Have bought a great self-help book, how to overcome worry and its fascinating and describes how I think to a tee. How I can't bear uncertainty etc. It focuses on CBT and I am going to follow it.
I still have a fear I am depressed but deep down I know I'm not, I'm just worried.
Okay, am off to read more book.
Hope u all ok.
Cokey xx
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on May 15, 2009 16:10:28 GMT
Hey you how have things been today?
I have nearly finished the book you sent me.. I'll be honest, when i first saw it I thought it wouldnt be my thing, but now I am DESPERATE to get to the end to find out what is going on!!
How are you geeting on with this book that focuses on CBT? You finding it useful? Hope you are having a better day today??
Much Love
WG x
|
|
|
Post by cokey on May 17, 2009 11:17:48 GMT
Hi Ladies
Have had a busy few days. We had Evies party yesterday. Because it rained, we had to cancel the garden party and we hired a hall, so it was hectic but really good. Then after, pauls parents and our mates came back. Our mates stayed over and they have just gone.
Anyway now I'm fuming. Pauls sister and mum ahve gone shopping, leaving her monstrous (and I mean he is absolutely the worst kid anyone has ever met) kid with pauls dad. Well he cant cope has rung to say he is bringing him here. I am so pissed off because to be homest, our guests have just gone. Its Evies birthday tomorrow and I have tons to do. I have just literally tided up from yesterday and this kid wrecks everything. It may sound selfish but I am ready to cry. I had a lovely time but I jsut wanted some down time this afternoon to get sorted. Anyway I made up a tale that muy mum is taking us out at 2.30 so I am going to get the kids ready and go over there to get rid of them. I said I was going out at 2.30 but they are still coming. He shouldnt have said he'd babysit if he cant cope.
Really pissed off.
Glad you like the book WG, to be honest she is just a brilliant writer and you can never put any of her books down. I have most of them so if you want any more I'll send them to you.
I am loving my CBT book, its just so accurate and really helps. the basic message is to confront your fears bit by bit, along thr same lines as my counsellor taught me. Its just nice to know that what I am experiencing is just plain anxiety and it causes so many symptoms that can be unbearable. Still blame PMT for a lot of things because I am so good mid cycle.
Hope you all okay.
Cokey xx
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on May 17, 2009 15:43:51 GMT
Hey Cokey
Huge HUGS (())). What happened this afternoon then? Did you manage to get yourself some time to sort out??
WG xx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on May 17, 2009 17:02:45 GMT
Hi WG I'm doing everything I need to now. I am more livid because his mum and sister just went out on whim but didnt want to take their kid with them cos he is so naughty and his dad took the other two boys to a theme park and not him, so what does that say?? Palm him off on me. Some parents just take the biscuit. But Pauls sister would never have got PNI and she has had 4 kids, why? because she doesnt care enough. Anyway the trip to my mums worked . How r u today? Cokey xx
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on May 17, 2009 21:34:10 GMT
Im alright ta mate - just tired. You know what they say about family mate... Glad you managed to egt your time back a bit though hun, and hope this is a good week ahead for you. Hoping to finish that book this week now got some work out the way - will get it back to you asap xxx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on May 20, 2009 9:38:53 GMT
Hello Ladies
Just checking in. Have been okay. Was well proud of myself last night. Paul went out with his female friend (mate from school who is a total tart and so after him) to a gig (albeit it was Morrissey and I'd rather chop my arm off than go again) and I was fine. No mad calling him, no anxiety about it etc. Thats a real achievement for me (having said that had it been time of the month I would have been hysterical lol). I did get anxious in general and got a bit of OCD towards Michael but its passed really quick.
Today Pauls mum was having Evie but she has a bad cold so can't, and now I am really lack lustre because I ahd plans inc going for lunch which I have had to cancel. I am supposed to be doing jobs now instread but I can't be bothered lol
Things with Paul are a bit better and I hate to say it but I think thats because I am better mid cycle. He is not blameless but I think when he is bad and I am bad we just wind each other up.
Anyway Cornwall next week, can't wait. Wish I just lived there now.
Hope you are all okay.
PS WG no rush at all for that book, I won't read it again for another 10 years lol so if anyone else wants it...oh and let me know if you want any of the others, they are all similar.
Cokey xx
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on May 21, 2009 19:11:55 GMT
Good god mate that is an acheivement!! I am pretty relaxed about stuff with my Hubby but would do my NUT if he went out on his own with a tart who fancied him! You really are cool mid-cycle!! LOL
When do you go to Cornwall? I am wanting to go this year but stressing about the journey in teh car with LO..Hope you have a lovely time xx
WG x
|
|
|
Post by cokey on May 22, 2009 10:20:18 GMT
Well ladies, I am signing off for a week (although we are taking laptop and I am due on, so I may be logging on). Had a massive shock last night. My mother-in-law rang and the sister-in-law who I said would never get PNi may have it. My mother-in-law didn't say that, she described her symptoms - dizzy, nausea, heart beating out her chest, crying fro no reason, demotivated and shaking and said it was a virus lol - obviously I know better and that is not a virus. She has clear symptoms of anxiety. Whether its short-lived or not, we will wait to see but it doesnt help that my m-i-l is in denial. She said 'oh no Helen isnt the type to get depressed ' not having a clue what PNI is. I told her to keep an eye on her but I dont thing she gets it. We never told her about me, I tried mentioning it once but it went over her head. She is the sort of person who offers oodles of sympathy to the person who shouts from the rooftops they are 'depressed' but nothing to those who hide it (and lets face it most people hide it). I am going to give my s-i-l a ring when I get back and with luck she will have bounced back but her lo is only 8 mths and its a possibility. Had a bad day yesterday. Just stuff involving my phobia popped up everywere I looked. Its a very selfish view I know and actually I do need to confront this issue - call it CBT - and last night Paul went out (again) and I had to face my thoughts and fears alone. I did it and today I am moving on, no dwelling. I just want to add that I know some people out there have terrible situations they are currently dealing with, and my thoughts are with them. Well I hope everyone is doing okay. Lydia you out there - pop in and let us know how you are. Becka - my phone will be with me and its 100000000000% okay to text me while I am away - I am always there for you because you are for me have a lovely half term everyone. Cokey xx
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on May 23, 2009 6:58:55 GMT
HAVE A FAB TIME!!!!! You deserve it! Hope the weather holds out for you and expect to see lots of pics on mushbook when you get back!!
Enjoy hun!!
Love
WG xx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on Jun 4, 2009 11:04:23 GMT
Hi ladies Just popping in, firstly to apologise to my FB mates - sorry I forgot about my username and may have come across as a lunatic on FB! I took the name of my sisters cat for this forum - Cokey. She has been in the family for 18 years and lived with us, my sister and been one of those characters you will never forget. Anyway sadly she died last night very suddenly and I am very sad today, for the loss, for my sister (because she has been with my sister through some very hard times) and the end of an era. Nevertheless, she is at peace now and probably skipping through fields chasing butterflies. My holiday was great. Was due on midweeka nd normally that paired with a trip away makes me crazy but I wasnt too bad. Had OCD just before but basically it was manageable and then I had a great time. Paul was good, my parents were fine, kids were happy, all in all great time had by all. I am feeling okay at the moment, keeping busy, not dwelling on anything etc. I am loving this blip free time. Fingers crossed its more permanent than usual Candice xx
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Jun 4, 2009 11:53:40 GMT
LOL - yes was quite alarmed!! So sorry though hun, the death of pets is why i dont ever really want another one - its just too sad...
Glad you had a good holiday! How were LO's on way down in car??
WG xx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on Jun 7, 2009 18:43:25 GMT
LOs were fine thanks WG. Seems like a decade ago. Am still okay. Rain is dipping my modd a bit but generally am good. Sending my love to you all. You know where I am if you want to talk anyone xx
|
|