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Post by winegirl on Apr 21, 2008 19:12:43 GMT
Hi TM
Oooh can i go up to donnigton to watch??!! Its only an hour from me! Love racing!
Perhaps you should tell hubby that you ar enot feeling well and could really do with him staying at home till sunday morning? Thats what i would do with my hubby!
Glad you are managing the thoughts ok hun. How is this evening going?
WG x
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 21, 2008 19:26:19 GMT
Hi WG,
I'm doing ok tonight thanks. Having a bit of a panic about seeing my counsellor tomorrow as I've been going over what she said last time I saw her and one of the things was that she wouldn't discuss my case with anyone unless she felt I was a danger to myself or others. Therefore am now starting to panic in case she does think that, just ocd again I suppose, hopefully she can put my mind at rest.
TM xx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 21, 2008 20:28:17 GMT
Hi TM
Best of luck with the counsellor tomorrow babes x I am sure it will be fine when you get there. I am certain that she wouldnt se you as a danger to yourself or others, if you were a danger you wouldnt be so scared of the thougts you have!
Let us know how it goes on tomorrow??
WG x
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 22, 2008 15:48:55 GMT
Saw my counsellor today, told her how bad the last week or so have been and she's pleased at how quickly I've managed to come out of it, she says understanding OCD and the thoughts are key and I clearly do, even though I'm not readily accepting of it yet. She said when I'm very anxious and I can't reason with myself and calm down that's because the emotional mind takes over the rational mind and at this stage of the illness/ therapy it's unrealistic to expect anything else and also that this behaviour has taken years to get to this point so it will take time to correct it. We had to fill in this form, called a thought maintenance cycle, which basically started with one of my thoughts/visions, in quite a lot of detail, followed by my belief in what the thoughts mean, then my emotional and physical response and how each of these then contribute to feeding the anxiety and continuing the cycle. My homework for this week is to think of something bizarre - for example a pink elephant in a tutu doing the tango, and each time I have a thought/vision i have to bring in my own vision (which for me in Mickey Mouse in leiderhosen smoking a pipe!), this will be unnatural to begin with but in time should become normal and counteract the negative thought. I asked her if she thought I was a danger - and she almost laughed (flipping cheek  ), so that has put my mind at rest somewhat, at least for now anyway. I tackled hubby about being away Saturday night and said knowing that I can't be on my own overnight could he go early Sunday morning, his response - "we'll see"! Also tried persuading my 18 year old son (bribing more like) to stay over and his response was pretty guarded too, apparently if it's a choice between staying at home with me or going out on a bender with his mates then I haven't got a cat in hells chance, but he'll let me know - how very gracious  |
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Post by winegirl on Apr 22, 2008 17:37:40 GMT
LOL! Thats teenage sons for you! They know where their priorities lie!!  Sounds like the counselling is really goos hun and you have a good counsellor there too! And I love the bizzare thought of Mickey Mouse in leiderson smoking a pipe - where did you get that from! ? You are doing brilliantly babes and should be so proud of yourself. I hope you manage to get some support at the weekend, let us know?? WG x |
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Post by cokey on Apr 22, 2008 18:01:51 GMT
I am sure your husband will stay home. If eh doesn't tell him a hundred women from www.pni.org.uk are coming for him lol Sounds like your counsellor was fab. Mine is similar and she said nothing I told her is worrying, she has heard it so many times before. The reason yours nearly laughed is because actually the thoughts we have are so far opposite of the real us, that we are the safest people in regards to that thought. For example, my thought is that I will become deeply depressed without knowing it and commit suicide. Well I won't because I fear it so much, its not possible to have an OCD about something and act on it. My mates counsellor when she had it said he would rather leave his kids with her than anyone else he knows because he knows she is the safest person. Keep up the good work. You are doing so well this week. Hurray for positivity and counsellors  ) Cokey xxx |
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Post by winegirl on Apr 23, 2008 7:53:22 GMT
How you doing this morning Tabbysmum??
Thinking of you x
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 23, 2008 8:10:17 GMT
Hi WG,
I'm ok this morning, and last night wasn't so bad either. Hubby went to the pub and didn't get home until 11:30 and I was fine. Have thought about Mickey Mouse so many times and I did find it easy to start with but the more I do it the harder it feels and more unnatural it feels, hopefully that will change though. My lo has gone back to nursery this morning after being off for 4 days, but this morning she's managed to poo all over her bedroom carpet (cream!)and crawl through it so it's everywhere and I can't get it clean so have had book to have it done properly this afternoon - I'd just changed a dirty nappy so thought it would be safe - I'm obviously far too trusting! Think I've got a fairly busy day today so hopefully will be quite distracted.
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Post by sianyc on Apr 23, 2008 20:50:24 GMT
Nice!
I'm glad counselling went well for you x
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Post by winegirl on Apr 23, 2008 20:51:14 GMT
Oh mate! Did you get the carpet sorted? I would be mortified (things like that really cabbage my head!)
How has this afternoon been? Any progress on twisting hubbys arm to stay at home on sat night??
WG x
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 24, 2008 8:12:41 GMT
Well poogate was finally resolved yesterday afternoon - at a cost of £47! Good news on the hubby front, he is staying at home on Saturday night, he hasn't actually told me but I heard him on the phone to one of his fellow racers saying the lo was ill so he wasn't coming up until Sunday morning. I'm glad he'd staying but wish he hadn't lied about the reasons. Don't get me wrong, I don't want him to tell anyone it's due to my anxiety but all he had to say was he wanted to stay at home so do feel a bit annoyed about that, like he's got to justify to his mates why he's staying at home with his wife and child rather than be with them.
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Post by winegirl on Apr 24, 2008 8:31:00 GMT
They dont want to look under the thumb - male pride thing i think.
Glad he is staying babes, and hope this rain packs in before racing for him on Sunday.
Hope your day goes ok today babes xx
WG x
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Post by cokey on Apr 24, 2008 13:16:19 GMT
Hi Tabbysmum
I'm so glad your hubby is staying home. I thought he might but don't you just wish they would agree to it in the beginning - but hey be thankful for the small things - thats what my husband keeps telling me.
Glad your carpet is sorted. At least there is a funny side - bless her. You can tell that story to all her mates when she is 16 lol
You seem to be doing really well. Just shows what a difference a few weeks makes eh? Its hard to remember that when you feel so bad but it is true.
Cokey xx
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 26, 2008 7:43:00 GMT
Well things having been going quite well for me. Have got a new job (still within BT) and have been poached to move to another team starting 6th may, really nervous about it but excited too as I know it's going to be a massive learning curve and will be a great distraction for me - even if somewhat stressful. I have now given my hubby permission to go to Donnington Park today as my son is staying the night. We haven't had an evening together for ages, just the 2 of us so thought it would be good for us to sit and chill and have a takeaway. Will also be interesting to see how I cope without hubby, I know my son is an adult but he doesn't know about my illness so will struggle if I'm having a bad anxiety/thoughts attack, I might put him in the picture just in case. Had a bit of a wobble yesterday, something on the news triggered my anxiety (wasn't at home so couldn't turn it over) and then last night I was reading a parenting magazine and came across a picture of a foetus and a pregnancy timeline, sort of thing I've seen hundreds of times before, but for some reason I immediately felt very upset and agitated, was eating my dinner at the time and had to throw it straight in the bin, was very tense all evening after that. It didn't really trigger any thoughts but the fact i reacted so badly too it immedately got me thinking - here we go again, I have no idea what all that was about, found it really freaky though.
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Post by winegirl on Apr 26, 2008 9:02:15 GMT
You know i still cant look at a picture of a foetus! Find it really freaks me out these days, dont know why.
I hope you have a lovely time with your son tonight hun and the anxiety manages to leave you alone x
WG xx
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), so that has put my mind at rest somewhat, at least for now anyway.
)
