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Post by winegirl on Jun 12, 2008 20:44:49 GMT
Bless you hun, thats kind of you x
I think you will be fine on the interview. I had an interview as a trainee mental health nurse last night, and I have no experience (Im a a transport supervisor) - but i got offered the place anyway! You will be fine hun x
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 12, 2008 20:46:43 GMT
Well done on the interview - did you accept the job. I reckon you would be very very goofd at that.
Shell
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Post by winegirl on Jun 12, 2008 20:52:56 GMT
Yeah, start in January! Canit wait - always wanted to do it. If you get past your interview stage when would you start?
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 12, 2008 20:58:33 GMT
Huge Congratulations to you. I hope it goes well. January will soon come round. Is it working in a hospital???
The course I applied for would start in sept - part time one day at college and two days on placement . I really hope they accept me and that it doesnt matter that i havent got placement already.
I did start the course the year before last but then got too ill with pnd and then ended up in hospital so never got far. Im hoping I can manage it this time round
Shell
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Post by winegirl on Jun 12, 2008 21:03:08 GMT
Yeah mostly based in hospital but can be other NHS settings in the area.
I think the fact that you have started the course before there is no reason for you not to be accepted this time! You nervous about the interview??
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 12, 2008 21:09:27 GMT
No Im not nervous but just worried that they wont offer me a place. Its what ive wanted to do for years and if i dont get the chance because of no experience or because of what happened last time i was on course i will be gutted. Im just going to give it my best and see what happens. If I have to have experience i will write to all the nurserys and childcare settings and try get a placement and get some experience and start the following year. One day I WILL do the course.
Shell
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Post by winegirl on Jun 12, 2008 21:12:02 GMT
Thats what I like to hear - super positive! And if they didnt accept you you could always do home study in childcare until the next course is up??
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 12, 2008 21:17:26 GMT
Yeah something will come up. Going to ty go to bed as this prickly heat is driving me mad and i need some relief from it. Just been given some calamine lotion from friend over road so going to put some of that on first and hope it helps. Take care and speak soon
Shell
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Post by winegirl on Jun 12, 2008 21:19:16 GMT
Sleep well Shell and well done on getting through it tonight! You have done brilliantly again! Take Care xx
WG x
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Post by winegirl on Jun 13, 2008 17:16:43 GMT
Hi Shell
Just wanted to let you know that I will be around after about 9 oclock tonight if you get stuck home alone. Hope today has been ok for you??
WG xx
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 14, 2008 17:58:07 GMT
Last night i stayed at my mams as i didnt feel very well and wasnt safe on my own. Today, I cant go there as she goes on holiday in morning so I am on my own again. Not done too well today. Cut my legs a few times. The urge was too strong and i had to do it and dont think anyone could have stopped me. I should have told someone what i was thinking but i didnt want anyone to stop me - thats how bad the urge was. Horrible thing is I dont feel any better for cutting. I want to do it again I hate myself for having to do this. I want this hurt to go away that im feeling over Jack and thought if i hurt myself it would help but it hasnt and its not fair. Think Im rambling but dont know what to say. So angry with myself. Shell
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Post by winegirl on Jun 14, 2008 19:13:32 GMT
Hi Shell
Don't be angry with yourself over this, you have no reason to be hun. It is not your fault that this is affecting you.
I am so sorry that you have self harmed today babes, are you ok? Have you cleaned the wounds etc??
You may have done it today, but you have just gone three days in a row and fought it, so dont be disheartend. You have done so well, and you will have these times in between, but I am certain you can fight it.
Have you tried ringing that freephone number for help for self-harm in Darlington? Maybe they might have a bit more advice for you??
I have to go off line for an hour or so now, but will be back on later if you need to talk.
Thinking of you xx
WG xx
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 14, 2008 19:32:36 GMT
Yeah I have cleaned the wounds - i am sensible and make sure its always clean so that i dont get infection. At least I never went deep so that they needed treatment so i suppose i should be pleased with myself for not going too far.
Im feeling so full of guilt and blame and upset over everything. I was talking with a friend about things that have happened and it made me get upset and he kept telling me i wasnt to blame but i just dont believe that as i am to blame.
I havent rang anyone as tbh i really dont feel like talking to someone. I know I should but i always find it so hard to pick the phone up and ring someone.
Im so sick of fighting this - its so tempting to give in. I wish there was an end to the self harm but i dont know if there ever will be. And i dont think there will ever be an end to this loneliness that i feel too.
Shell
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Post by winegirl on Jun 14, 2008 20:09:24 GMT
Hi Hun
There will be an end to it. I suffered for a long time but got through it, and now it never even crosses my mind!
You should never blame yourself or feel guilt for all that has happened to you. You have never asked for this. All you can do is try hard to get out of it. I know the feeling of wnating to give in, and there will be days when you do, but there will be days when you feel string enough to fight too, I promise xx
How are you doing this evening??
WG xx
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Jun 14, 2008 20:18:15 GMT
Hi WG Im not doing very well this evening. I just know i am going to cut again. I cant take no more of this hurt inside of me and need to hurt in a different way to try and release some of the inner hurt. I dont even want to fight it tonight. I dont have any strength to tonight. Ive just opened a bottle of wine in the hoope that it helps.
I know I have never asked for any of this but its happened and i cant deal with it. Its just too much at the moment. If I had my son it might be easier but i dont because i am the worst mum ever and that makes me sad too.
Sorry I am a bit miserable tonight and cant pick myself up.
Shell
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