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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 23, 2009 23:30:04 GMT
not sure how it whent i was so nurvouse i shook most of the way through it and didnt stop talking i cant even remeber what questions they asked i just know i ansured as best as i could. but yeah i did rambble a bit. so we will see how i get on if they get in touch with me in a few weeks or so they said ucas whill get in touch with me to tell me so will let you know... i hope i have but dont htink so some how
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Post by winegirl on Feb 24, 2009 13:24:55 GMT
Fingers crossed for you mate!! We have to do alot of social care in our course and I love it too!!
How you doing in general mate??
WG xx
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 24, 2009 17:07:29 GMT
i think i am ok well have been for a few days. so hopfuly i am on the up from last weeks blip. i have so much to do at the momnt and i realy don't want to let anyone down i foget loads of things needed to ring ryeinair as im taking both kids on my own to france to visit my freind i hate flying and im verry sceared of having a full boown panick attack on the plain but im hoping i will just get on with it as i have the kids to look after. so i got round to ringing them a week after i was meant to. booked my smear 4 weeks late. and finely got the dog booked it to the vets for her nail cutting only a month after i said she needed them doing. (i brought some clippers for them but she wont stay still long anough) the kids are dressed and have loads of cloths (good job too as im behind with washing) im not the same though i still get cross verry fast and it allways seems to be with poor martyn. i tell him it is not personol it is just everything he dose is winding me up. what ever he says i take it the wrong way.. the kids are good though and since joseph whent on a difrent medication he hasnt been sick in about a week he is still ruterly and i think he is still breathing in milk but not throughing it up now.. emily is doing fab she has fear come out of her self. asking qustions and things now. so to sum it up i do feel ok a the momn't just need to chill out stop been so paraniod and get on with it.
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 25, 2009 10:41:17 GMT
some one is giving me funny phone calls i feel so paaniode and upset they have done 5 times today there is no number on it. im all worried now who is it? what have i done wrong? who dosnt like me ? i hope it stops as i don't like it.
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 25, 2009 23:16:45 GMT
i got in to uni............ im so happy but shi$$ng my self now.
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Post by cheshire on Feb 26, 2009 11:58:42 GMT
Well done!! ;D
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 26, 2009 16:16:25 GMT
thank you love. im less sceared now it is not till sept so i have some time to get my head round it and see about getting my spelling better.
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 26, 2009 16:22:39 GMT
dear diary my syc doctor came to see me this morning she was unable to come a few weeks ago so had a canselastion so came today. i told her about my temper changing and that i wasnt sleeping well again and feeling paranoide so she suggested uping the meds again was reluctent to do it but after chatting will give it a try. im on 120mg of amatriptelin allready so she said to go up to 150mg this sounds so high to me but she said she has laidies on 300mg so i dont feel so bad. she said i have been doing realy realy well. i have been told i need iron tablets she said this may be why i am short tempered and not sleeping but allso said iron tablets take a few months to work so its a good idea to up meds so i can still be stable. she did say after cbt she thinks i could be off the meds. she allso said that the cbt ladie has put me high on the list as she thinks i would realy benifit it. my cpn allso came today later on. she had a student with her it was nice but didnt want to say too much. i know it is strange when i open my hart to everyone anyway but i have been putting on this face for 24 yrs nealy so it is hard to change and tell the truth how yoru feeling. so meds going up as of tonght 1 at a time till i get to 15 tablets then im going on 1 tablet but the 150mg ones.. michelle xx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 26, 2009 20:43:24 GMT
Hi Michelle,
Good result and advice from the doctor, but more importantly...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Will have to dig all my social care notes out for you!!
I know its a nervey thing to do - but I promise that not only will you be fine but you will LOVE IT!!
Go girl!!
WG xx
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Post by michelle1985 on Mar 1, 2009 21:21:41 GMT
my weekend has been so so so long im so tired. the last 4months i have had thought about devorsing my husband that we are not right together that it is all too too hard to cope with. I do think more than half of this is pni relaited and it is just dragging me down. we have been married 6years this time, he is 10 years younger and things are shwoing in our marrieg i am a highly sex person and he is like so the opesit NOW he was before buts just be his age. so were going through the 7yr ich i think. but it dosnt help that part of my anxiaty and paranioer is feeling like i don't bellong i feel it all the time. lst night i sat in a room full of people feeling like i don't belong to anyov them int here little groups. whitch is absered seems though they are my freinds but because they didnt sit with us my head started making things up. but i am tired i did an allday rainbow training and spent the day having to take in 100of pieces of info then came home for a 5min bath got kids ready whent out to martyns freinds 30th mum babysat. came home at 12 started cooking for my little lasses 2nd birthday party today so stayed up till 2 getting all ready then was up this morning sorting more stuff and whent to do a part for 24 kids or some thing silly
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Post by winegirl on Mar 2, 2009 12:02:21 GMT
OMG you need a rest! You have many plans for this week ahead? Sounds like you could do with a bit of a break to rest yourself and have a good think about things with your relationship?
How did the party go hun??
WG xx
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Post by michelle1985 on Mar 4, 2009 22:52:57 GMT
the party whent fab it did but im just so so tired now feel like i have bean kicked im so tired. is going to take me ages to recover got a full weekend this weekend now too im so having a lie in saterday morning before going to manchester.
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Post by winegirl on Mar 5, 2009 16:42:14 GMT
Hugs Michelle (()) Sleep when you can mate - i still do that now and it helps when i have a tough week... Have a nice time in manchester xxx
WG xx
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Post by michelle1985 on Mar 9, 2009 20:16:39 GMT
i had a good time in manchester. im so so tired though.
tomorrow joseph has two apointmeants tomorrow for joseph and both may lead to surgery so i am realy sceared. the first one is checking josephs hart to see if it has closed up. i know it is qquite coman for babies to have a whole but because of charlotte i am just so sceared. then the second one is the peediactric surgon so he may need a niissanfundoplacation (sp) to close up the valve in his assofiguse to stop acid coming up. so i am verry nurvouse as to how it will go tomorrow.
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Post by michelle1985 on Mar 11, 2009 11:55:28 GMT
joseph's hart is fine the hole has closed up thank god feeling so happy he has a normal hart... he allso saw the peeds surgon and is going for some prosidures about his reflux he has to be pu to sleep but it is verry fast. still worried though but oh well,.
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