michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Sept 2, 2008 20:31:58 GMT
well so annoyed - the cpn didnt even bother to ring me. Why am i left on my own all the time. Part of my discharge plan was for cpn to ring me same day but as not got home til late monday she should have rang today. They just dont care. I wish i hadnt given my mam my blades. Really wanting to self harm. Thats what they wanting me to do.
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 20:36:42 GMT
Right this is silly, you really arent getting the right level of support - its so infuriating!!! Have you got an out of hours number for a crisis team? I would ring them, tell them you have been left alone, that you are self harming daily and very nearly died this week and you need help now - not when the freaking CPN decides to ring.
I just cant get my head round it!
Have you been home all day today? What you doing this evening? Anything to preoccupy before hitting the sack?
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Sept 2, 2008 20:42:54 GMT
only got one helpline number - havent even got number for crisis team as they dont do telephone calls anymore. The helpline is just someone to talk to and you only get 20 minutes.
I went to town to pay a bill so that got me out for an hour but thats been it. Just trying to bide my time on pc before i can take all meds and go to bed. Anti-biotics next due at 11 so need to be awake til then.
I feel like i am invisible and noone knows i am here
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 20:47:00 GMT
Oh hunny, we know you are here... Its just a crap medical system thats all. I went over a year undiagnosed with PNI and in the end only got the diagnosis and help that I needed because I screamed from the rooftops to get it. But I shouldnt have had to do that, we are just let down by the system.
Do you feel like you could write a letter to your local mental health team complaining about your lack of support and what has happened with you subsequently? These people need to know how damaging it is to leave you in the lurch.
If I remember right there is a dedicated self harm psychiatric nurse that works at the hospital in Darlington. Maybe we could look up his details and get in contact...
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Sept 2, 2008 20:57:56 GMT
yeah my mam suggested we complain too tonight. Need to get the details for the people to write to. I know its PALS but will have to look them up.
Yeah be good if we could get in touch with him - but getting the right help seems like a dream. Im getting so used to people not understanding. All the professionals dont have first hand experience and seem to just quote everything from their books and dont know how it really is.
Its so frustrating because i want to hurt myself again tonight and i cant. Even though my wrist hurting like mad (and need to get off my bum and get some painkillers) i still want to cut again. Why do i want to do this to myself?
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 21:00:19 GMT
Becaue you are poorly babes. Its not really what you want, just what your illness is telling you to. I am so glad you got rid of the blades. I will check out about the self harm specialist in darlington in the morning and come back to you with some details if it helps.
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 21:02:18 GMT
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 21:02:49 GMT
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Sept 2, 2008 21:03:49 GMT
yeah that be good if you do find any details. Then i will see what he can do. I really do want to stop the self harm but its so hard. I always give up so easily. Then it makes me feel useless and then that makes me hate myself. I need to learn to like myself i think and then i may have a chance in fighting better
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Sept 2, 2008 21:09:27 GMT
thanks for the links. Especially the pals one - can go to the walk in centre and talk to someone as they have a drop in service. Can take my mam with me. She can help me.
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 21:10:42 GMT
Sounds like a plan to me! I will try and gt some contact details for that self harm nurse - i think it is worth talking to anyone that specialises in something...
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Sept 2, 2008 21:15:56 GMT
ive got a feeling that its just someone from the liasion psychiatry and they never been that much help lately. When i first used to go to hospital through s/h 2 years ago i always got to speak to crisi team/liason psychiatry and now they just get told im there and they say they dont need to speak to me and just contact my cpn instead
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 21:16:02 GMT
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Sept 2, 2008 21:21:29 GMT
thanks - couldnt open it from here but copied and pasted it onto my internet browser
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Post by winegirl on Sept 2, 2008 21:23:10 GMT
Probably me being a technophobe mate....
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