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Post by Weeble on Jun 21, 2011 19:11:46 GMT
Agree not a horrible thought, everyone needs some peace and quiet. The empty feeling I had that for a long time, I am slowly very slowly getting my emotions back, today I felt some excitement.
Kat
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Post by julesh38 on Jun 22, 2011 15:19:34 GMT
Door will be open with the cmht if I need them. They did talk about the possibility of reducing meds in 6 months time and that I can go back to be monitored. KNow what you mean Kat about being discharged. My mate thinks its crazy that they even mentioned reducing meds so soon. I know that it is probably too soon but to be honest the woman I'm seeing I feel really awkward with her so I think I agreed to the discharge just so I didn't have to see her again. Time will tell.
Was good this morning, did get up and take kids to school. Came home and only lay down for an hour as I had a session with my counsellor. It was very good. He really showed me how everything I do I do for everybody else. He has set me a challenge of committing myself to going out for a walk, by myself, twice in the coming week. So bleedin' simple I know but its something I never do, I always have a purpose for going out ie kids, hubby.
Had a little chat with hubby and explained that although things are not great between us, not to give up, we'll work through it and he was really great in saying he knows I need to get my head sorted first and then we can work on "us".
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Post by juppster on Jun 22, 2011 19:28:06 GMT
Yay, well done on getting the kids up and to school..what a great achievement. Glad you found your counselling session useful..this is the thing that i have been told most of the time....make time for yourself!! As you say, sounds like the easiest thing to do but is absolutely the hardest....saying that, i have learnt to become a little more selfish and started incorporating time into my week that i have just for me...it really helps so i truely hope you find the time to do it for you. Great news on the communication with hubby and so lovely to hear he is being so supportive...its exactly the kind of response you need to hear! xx
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Post by julesh38 on Jun 24, 2011 16:26:29 GMT
Been not to bad last couple of days, although yesterday was a kind of sad day. Hubby works full-time and I had to give up my part-time job a couple of years ago cause I couldn't cope so money has been really tight. Yesterday we decided we had no option but to sell our wedding rings. Mine didn't fit as I've put on weight but hubby's did and I could see how upset he was. Gutted! But hoping to buy a couple of cheap ones soon till we can afford better ones. Hate having to struggle, watching every single penny. I know inside that I kinda blame myself through having to give up my job. Also, had the possibility of child-minding from August, just a few hours a week but my mate has pulled out of that saying that I'm too ill to watch her kid and that I don't need the stress! She is probably right, again my fault!
Home alone at the mo as kids and hubby at in-laws and I made the excuse that I wanted to watch the tennis. Honestly just didn't want to be in company.
For some reason was awake at five this morning. Still having really weird dreams and I think it was this that woke me up. Was good though only slept for an extra hour this morning, so at least trying to fight the tiredness. Dreading the weekend as it is just me and the kids and I just don't know what to do with them. Here's hoping the weather stays dry.
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Post by juppster on Jun 24, 2011 20:08:38 GMT
I'm sorry you had to sell your rings honey, that must have been so hard...but at least you still have and love eachother..that counts for more than anything. You are certainly not the only one struggling financially at the moment..things are really really tough for alot of people, including us so you have my empathy. Hoping you manage to get some good sleep tonight and your dreams calm down a little x
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Post by Weeble on Jun 26, 2011 11:54:28 GMT
I read your post and I so felt for you, it's such a sad thing for the two of you and rubbed the situaition in at such a painful point. Don't berate yourself about work, you have children and an illness and you are doing amazingly. If you had ms or cancer you wouldn't berate yourself, depression is no different it's a cruel, unpredictable, painful, life threatening illness.
That's a shame your mate doesn't feel able to use you, can you turn it to your advantage and get yourself ofsted registered or something and show her.
Hope your weekend has been cool
Kat
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Post by julesh38 on Jun 28, 2011 10:00:39 GMT
Weekend was pretty good for me. Did a lot of walking with the kids which we all enjoyed but crikey I didn't realise how unfit I've become. Will definitely be working on that.
Have been really good and not gone back to bed over the last couple of days. IN fact yesterday was good. It was one of the days that the counsellor had set me the challenege of going out by myself for a walk, which I did. Just went for a stroll around some clothes shop which normally I wouldn't enjoy but I did this time. Didn't feel panicky or that folk were watching and judging me. Been another stroll this morning for a few bits for the kids but now home to do some housework. Feel good in myself for not giving in, here's hoping this is the start to the end of this horrible period!
Wee mans sport day this afternoon which I'm looking forward to as hubby is able to make it as well. So all looking good at the mo.
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Post by juppster on Jun 29, 2011 9:05:10 GMT
Yay, well done you....and well done for taking the first step for finding a little bit of time for you...thats really great mate. How did the sports day go yesterday? Hope the weather stayed good for your little man x
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Post by julesh38 on Jun 29, 2011 21:00:19 GMT
Sports day was very brief for the kids at school yesterday. They all managed about 2 races when it had to be halted due to the thunder and lightning, lots of little ones scared of the noise.
Had an amazing CBT session today. Discussed another issue from my childhood which really made me realise why I behave certain ways and have been set a challenge to try and change. Simple things are going to help me change and get better. Will post more about it tomorrow.
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Post by juppster on Jun 30, 2011 19:34:29 GMT
Great on the amazing cbt session...that sounds really really positive xx
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Post by julesh38 on Jul 4, 2011 19:46:58 GMT
Have been really busy over the last few days that haven't really had time to come on and post.
First thing I want to say is "I agree with you Kat, quetiapine is a miarcle drug." I am feeling really good, in fact I would even go as far as saying the best I have felt in years. Big statement I know but it is true. Have been a little tired over the last couple of days but that is my own fault for forgetting to take my meds on Friday night. whoops!
Can now even think about going back to college to get training for a job in the future. Problem I have now is what??
CBT is great. Haven't done any of my challenges though but have been busy with other things. When we start I have to fill in a short questionnaire with regards to my moods etc. and last week showed a massive drop in my moods from severe to verging on normal. Fantastic, although my guy did say to expect this to go up and down, which is fine by me. Looking forward to my next session on Wednesday.
Life is pretty good and that is something I didn't expect to be saying for a long time yet.
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Post by Weeble on Jul 4, 2011 19:57:41 GMT
Well done mate you deserve it
Kat
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Post by juppster on Jul 5, 2011 20:24:17 GMT
Yay..so great to hear it mate...long may it continue xx
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Post by juppster on Jul 12, 2011 7:42:09 GMT
Hey mate, just wondered how things were for you at the moment. Remember we are here any time you need xx
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Post by Weeble on Jul 13, 2011 19:40:15 GMT
Yes hoping your absence reflects how well you are doing
Kat
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