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Post by julesh38 on May 24, 2011 18:34:27 GMT
Thought I would start my own diary. I do try to keep a journal at home on a daily basis although I don't always feel like writing. My journal at home is called "Pills for Breakfast", which to me is very apt.
Today has been okay. Little man not feeling well so was off school. He lay on the couch watching TV and I went back to bed after getting my daughter to school. Did sleep for an hour or so as did my wee man.
I know I shouldn't have but forgot to take my meds last night. Did manage to get some sleep through the night although it was broken a lot. I know I shouldn't be debating but unsure whether I will take my meds tonight. Felt pretty good today, even played with the wee fella this afternoon. Managed to do some housework and made all the beds, something that I rarely do. Will admit I have had trouble in the past with taking my meds but I just have such a mental block about taking them.
Phoned and made an appointment with my counsellor for this Friday. Nervous about that already as he doesn't know everything that has happened over the last few weeks.
One other thing that is bothering me slightly is my lack of emotion towards by oh. We've been married for 16 years next month and have always been very close but now I just don't feel anything for him at the mo. He has been very good and not smothering me but even the thought of giving him a cuddle or a kiss is not appealing at the mo. Is this the tablets?? I know my libido has completely gone and has been for a long time but surely the lack of any emotion is not right?
Thanks to all you guys for past posts that have helped me get through the hellish past weeks but things are now looking a lot better. Yeah!
x
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Post by julesh38 on May 25, 2011 13:31:14 GMT
Well, was good last night and did take my meds. Little fella still off school poorly. Got my daughter to school, came back and got the wee man settled in front of the TV then went back to bed. ONly got up out of bed just over an hour ago. Not good I know but just feel so tired when taking the meds. Will admit head feels fairly clear, no more terrible thoughts or hearing things which is obviously a bonus. Eating like a pig though. Not proper meals though, just snacks. I cook the rest of the gang but I can't face eating a proper meal. Will see how it goes over the next few days.
x
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Post by Weeble on May 25, 2011 14:24:17 GMT
Sounds like quertiapine to me. The sleepiness does improve, it's virtually gone outside night time for me now. Having to seriously control the munchies, will eat anything in the evening.
Still like you, less mad thoughts, brain felt so much clearer. It's been great feeling so much better.
Kat
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Post by juppster on May 29, 2011 14:38:28 GMT
Glad to hear you've been a little better Jules..i know the meds can take a while to get used to regarding the tiredness...how have you been the last few days? x
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Post by julesh38 on May 29, 2011 20:30:36 GMT
Just been tired the last few days. Head is still nor racing so that is good I suppose.
How long did it take you to overcome the tiredness from the drugs Kat?
A bit unsure of how I feel tonight as my 10 year daughter, Yasmin, goes away tomorrow with the Brownies for a four day holiday. First trip away from home for her. On one hand very excited for her but also know I will miss her terribly. Suppose in a way that should mean the next few days a bit easier for me what with the kids being off school and hubby doesn't go back to work till Wednesday.
So tired despite having a nap this afternoon. Will be going to bed just shortly. Will try and post tomorrow.
x
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Post by juppster on May 29, 2011 20:33:27 GMT
Ah, that must be a huge thing for you with your little girl going away but i'm sure she will have a great time and hopefully the time will fly past for you. Get as much rest as you can, hopefully this side effect will start to wear off for you soon xx
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Post by Weeble on May 30, 2011 8:24:53 GMT
Hi
It's a big thing when they go away isn't it, she will be back before you know it. The tiredness with the drugs, well it's all about getting enough sleep and healing. It really is about learning to manage the drug. I take it around 7:30pm so i fall asleep just after 10 most nights. I wake then most days around 7 ish with the children. However, when I have been very stressed or the memories have been triggered I find I just have to sleep. Still I would rather be sleepy than how I was before the quertiapine.
Hope today is good
Kat
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Post by julesh38 on May 30, 2011 18:58:19 GMT
Sad!
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Post by Weeble on May 30, 2011 19:02:35 GMT
((((hug)))))
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Post by juppster on May 31, 2011 19:53:59 GMT
Hows things today for you Jules? Have you heard from your little girl since she's been away? x
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Post by julesh38 on Jun 1, 2011 19:45:44 GMT
Things have been busy with my wee man as he has had a friend over to stay. Mate has just gone home today so some form of normality.
Haven't heard from Yasmin, my daughter, as expected. She does get back tomorrow afternoon. The house has been so quiet without her but I have no doubt that she has had a good time. Looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.
Just very tired again. Lay down this afternoon while my wee fella watched telly. Only got up after a couple of hours. Bit naughty I know.
Going to go and take my meds before I forget, again. Night all.
x
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Post by Weeble on Jun 2, 2011 8:21:15 GMT
No the resting is not naughty, I find that's the great thing about quertiapine, it makes me rest when I need it. It will improve, I only need a rest about 50% of the time now.
Hope today is good for you
Kat
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Post by julesh38 on Jun 6, 2011 22:01:55 GMT
Yasmin now back. Had a good time but very emotional on her return.
Been feeling lousy since early hours Friday morning. Went to Docs this morn and given penicillin for a throat infection. Hoping to feel better in a few days.
Haven't been able to do letter writing that counsellor wanted me to do. Just can't seem to put anything on paper yet normally I am so good at writing. I'm supposed to put o paper how I would have felt when my folks split up but I can't remember my childhood. Counsellor says to try and imagine what emotions I would have gone through but I am just hitting a brick wall. How can I imagine when I don't even know what kind of relationship I had with my Dad? Folks split up when I was about seven but I don't have memories of either one of them at that age. Seeing counsellor tomorrow afternoon. Also MHT called today seeing them on Thursday for a follow-up. I hate all these meetings as I absolutely hate talking about myself.
Starting to panic a little bit as late this afternoon when I was preparing kids dinner I kept hearing noises again that have no explanation. Not many but enough to wind me up again. Also, not sure whether they are dreams or what but starting to think about cutting myself again. Very, very easily offended as well by peoples comments although they are not ment to offend. Way too sensitive.
Going to bed, have had enough of today. x
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Post by juppster on Jun 7, 2011 18:02:00 GMT
Hoping today has been a better one for you xx
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Post by Weeble on Jun 7, 2011 21:18:39 GMT
I laughed yesterday, I was at my psychologist and she told me to write letters. I started I was surprised once I got going it was not too difficult, I just let the thoughts flow. I know how you feel about all the meetings, but use them to dump on.
Hoping today was better, let us know how you are doing?
Kst
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