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Post by Kirsty on Mar 8, 2017 20:09:06 GMT
They have never really gone away just got easier until
Today. It's been horrific xx
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Post by monica on Mar 8, 2017 20:36:23 GMT
They will go away though ! It's a blip! You were put in a stressful position unexpectedly - it's the kind of think that triggers blips. It will pass though. I can imagine it's been tough X
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Post by Kirsty on Mar 9, 2017 22:24:53 GMT
So I read an article today about peadophiles and it said true peados do not act on their thoughts and desires because they don't want to hurt children but cannot help their desire to want to have sex with a child.
What if this is me?
What if I'm getting excited about the thoughts and not anxious?
What if I have hurt a child before and forgotten?
What if I had always had these desires and thoughts but I enjoyed them and thought they were normal so they didn't
Bother me therefore I took no notice?
What he f**k is wrong with me? I will end it all rather then this being the truth!!!
What if I don't mean that last statement and I'm just saying it because it's the right thing to Say and do?
Someone please help me ?
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Post by monica on Mar 10, 2017 13:07:58 GMT
Hi
Firstly STOP READING THESE TYPES OF ARTICLES STOP GOOGLING!
Seriously don't as even if you read an article that says your not a paedophile you're just a mum who has PNI the frame of mind you're in you won't believe it.
The bomb alert has triggered these worries and doubts.
You're a wonderful mum who would never in a million years harm a child sexually or otherwise. You've lost confidence in yourself. Before PNI if anyone had suggested to you you were a paedophile you'd tell them where to go full of confidence it was utter rubbish. Now you're full of self doubt questioning and over analysing everything. This is a horrible horrible symptom of PNI and nothing more x
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Post by Kirsty on Mar 10, 2017 14:33:00 GMT
Thanks Monica, I think I annoyed liz with this yesterday she said the same stop googling why do I do it to myself. I'm so low today x
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Post by monica on Mar 10, 2017 15:40:53 GMT
I get you completely . My obsession was illnesses and would be forever googling symptoms which only served to fuel anxiety yet I had the compulsion to do it. Do try to distract yourself . Really looking forward to next week - will check out pub x
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Post by Kirsty on Mar 10, 2017 17:06:12 GMT
It's awful isn't it. You can't stop which is stupid because I don't want to read it really I just want something to convince me that I'm not and because nothing is I worry that I am. Will it stop me getting better? As in because I struggle to accept that this is the illness does it mean I will
Never get better??
I am too. Can't wait to meet you. Xx
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Post by monica on Mar 10, 2017 17:16:42 GMT
I was the same as you and I know how it feels but you will get better. It takes time and patience x
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Post by Kirsty on Mar 10, 2017 17:30:16 GMT
God I hope so. I'v just had enough now. So sick of this feeling and thoughts and worrying about it x
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Post by monica on Mar 10, 2017 20:01:42 GMT
You'll get to a point when you can't be bothered with the thoughts and they'll simply bore youx
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Post by Kirsty on Mar 10, 2017 21:05:12 GMT
I can't imagine that at all. What if I don't? X
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Post by monica on Mar 11, 2017 7:56:27 GMT
It's impossible to imagine being recovered and not plagued by thoughts when you're in that dark place. It will happen! What have you got planned for the weekend? X
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Post by Kirsty on Mar 11, 2017 9:41:07 GMT
I'm on my own today as mum has taken Sophia so I can just rest and be alone. Just me and Sophia tomorrow too what about you? Xx
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Post by Kirsty on Mar 11, 2017 18:50:53 GMT
Considering a gastric band. Lot of
Money though x
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Post by monica on Mar 12, 2017 9:44:16 GMT
Did you get some R&R? Hope so. It's great your mum can do that.
Gastric band - I know a couple of people who have that or something similar done. Maybe try other avenues first as it is major surgery and there's the cost element. Perhaps talk to gp. It's hard to get the motivation to do the diet/exercise routine. Perhaps join a group? Listen to me! I'm hardly an expert with my weight yoyoing!
How are you feeling in yourself? X
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