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Post by monica on May 23, 2021 21:31:50 GMT
Hi EC
I’m so glad you’ve felt well for a prolonged period. Sounds like you’re having a blip which can feel doubly horrible after feeling good for quite a long time. It really is a sign of recovery! I do hope the anxiety fades away quickly because it’s really unnerving isn’t it? Try to do breathing techniques, tending muscles then letting go and that kind of thing .
Aghh what injury do you have? Have you seen the dr? Might be worth seeing your dr about the bladder issue? Do you think it’s a pelvic floor issue? I know I get those issues intermittently and it’s so annoying !
Hang on there ...full recovery can take some time but it’s all looking positive it really is x
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ec
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Post by ec on Jul 13, 2021 19:18:28 GMT
Hi Monica How are you? I hope you are well. Thank you for your last reply. I’ve got over my anxiety about my bladder and was relatively anxiety which was lovely. I had my second jab a few weeks ago and since then have noticed the aches and pains keeping back again. Don’t know if linked to this or is a blip or is my thyroid. Had a blood test a few weeks ago though and bloods have come back normal, If it’s a blip I’m confused as never have even as low as was after second baby. Do you think it’s possible to have a blip with just general anxiety rather than pni? My legs have hurt so much today at various points and then felt better again. When I ache though I feel like 100 years old and freak out. I spoke to doctor and she asked if I had tested positive with Covid, implying that it could be long Covid. I know I’ve been here before with this aches and pains and posted about them 2 and a half years ago before Covid. Maybe it’s hormones? Then I think if it is my thyroid maybe it’s going to be with me forever if I always have this thyroid problem. I also feel anxious about the aches and pains but when they alleviate so does the anxiety. I know I have been really busy over last month, working extra days and then catching up on work at night, busy every weekend at the moment too. Sorry to winge on, just find my stream of consciousness helps me process. X
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Post by monica on Jul 21, 2021 9:39:41 GMT
Hi EC
Not ignoring you - just been crazily busy! I’ll reply tonight x
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Post by monica on Jul 22, 2021 23:12:09 GMT
Hi EC
Apologies for the late reply. Life’s just been crazy …or maybe I’m just less organised.
Howxare you? I hope the a year and pains have eased off. I was wondering whether it might be the vaccine? My brother had an odd reaction probably after his 2nd vaccine - pins and needles then numbness. It’s eased off but lasted about a month . Perhaps tiredness is a factor too - you sound really busy.
I think I’ve mentioned before, my symptoms largely went with Antids but would return at times.
You’re not wingeing at all! It’s hard - I am never good when I feel unwell physically . I think some people are like this and the link between physical and emotional health is much closer than in others.
I have a friend who never had Pni but was affected with bad physical symptoms when she had depression.so some people do.
Maybe give it some time then go back k to drs ? X
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Post by monica on Aug 2, 2021 17:55:58 GMT
Hi EC
Just checking in to see how you are? It’s hols now so hope that’s going well . How are the aches and pains you were struggling with? Hugs x
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ec
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Post by ec on Aug 8, 2021 19:03:22 GMT
Hi Monica Thank you for checking on me. I was thinking I must reply to you the other day but then got distracted. I’m ok thanks. I’m definitely noticing a pattern with aches and pains. Seems to occur every 3 weeks or so, so maybe a hormone cycle thing. I don’t have my period back yet but maybe I get these aches and pains when I would be getting a period. I don’t feel especially low and the anxiety is mainly around the symptoms. The anxiety tends to pass when the symptoms pass. I’ve got another blood test tomorrow to check thyroid. Last one came back normal so I’m hoping to come off medication for it at some point.
I hope you are well. Are you going on holiday or have you been anywhere? I dream of lying by a swimming pool with a good book. How are your sons? I think you said you were worried about the middle one when it was lock down.
I just want to thank you again for all the work you do and have done on this forum. I read a couple of books by a neurologist on functional illness recently which sounds a lot like the physical symptoms of pni. She advocates a greater understanding and awareness of these debilitating physical symptoms which appear to have no cause. You are definitely ahead of society in terms of the support you have given women who suffer physical pni and i honestly think if I’d never found this site I’d still be searching for a physical cause of my symptoms after my second pregnancy. Your positivity was immensely important in helping me out of the hole of thinking the symptoms were forever snd helping me through the blips. Thank you so much. Even though the blips have returned after my third baby (which tends to make me think there is something hormonal in it) I have not plummeted to the depths of despair that I was in after my second. Speaking to you helped me and still helps me to remember that each blip will pass. I get comfort in looking back at my old posts ad other women’s who have had the same physical things and know that I’m not alone and it’s just something my body has to go through. Thank you xx
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Post by monica on Aug 11, 2021 13:09:42 GMT
Dear EC
Thank you so much for your lovely message. Even though we’ve never met in person, I consider you a dear friend and it’s a privilege to have by your side during your Pni journey. I’m so pleased I’ve been able to give you some comfort and hope during those dark times - I remember them well from when I had Pni. The wonderful ladies gave me hope and I’m pleased I’ve been able to pass that into you.
I do wish I could give you a ‘why’ answer. I’ve never managed to find one in all these years. Adrenal fatigue has been the nearest I’ve found to some sort of explanation for the physical symptoms without any other obvious cause, though I know that is poo poohed by certain professionals.
It’s great to hear you’ve found a pattern to your symptoms even though you don’t have a cause either. I hope that allays your fears.
How are the children doing! They must be growing fast. No real change with my middle son. There was some drug taking a couple of months ago and a party that got out of hand. Lots of listlessness . Saying that he has a pt job interview on Friday. I feel if he has stuff to do it lifts him even though he can’t process that correlation himself . Anyway we bought a suit yesterday - he looked so smart so here’s hoping it’s a positive step forward x
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Post by monica on Sept 12, 2021 11:14:14 GMT
Hi EC
Just checking in with you. How has the summer been? How are you feeling? X
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ec
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Post by ec on Oct 29, 2021 21:47:13 GMT
Hi Monica Sorry for long delay. I had a good summer thanks, the children are growing fast and I have been doing some extra work so keeping myself busy. How are you? How are your children? I hope you had a good summer? Did your son get the job?
After a good period I’ve felt the anxiety and some lowness last few days. This evening I suddenly felt like I had no interest in anything which scared me. I then had all the memories and catastrophic thoughts of going back to the place I was in a few years ago, I think after having a good period it’s made me more anxious. Did you ever get a sudden downer after a good period? Xx
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Post by monica on Nov 1, 2021 7:57:56 GMT
Hi EC
Great to hear from you and that your summer was good. I'm sorry you felt a bit anxious/low recently. Don't forget even people without pni get this but the fact that this symptom has been part of pni, it sounds like it has triggered that fear that you're back in that place. I've found that autumn, in spite of all its beauty, brings on SAD for me - the colder weather, the murkier days etc. Also, as you've said, it's very common to feel super anxious just because you've had an extended good period. And yes, even now, when I get some low moments, on occasions it can momentarily make we wonder if I'm heading down that dark road. Hang on in there - I promise you in time the panic will lessen.
My summer was good thanks. The younger two kids and I went to Scotland - the Isle of Lewis and Harris and glasgow and Edinburgh. We all loved it! And just travelling again was so positive for me. Re the kids, the eldest secured an excellent accounting apprenticeship so I was so happy and proud as I was worrying that he lacked direction.
With the middle son, unfortunately, he never made it back to college other than enrolling, so has left. He is working very hard at a restaurant - zero hour contract (appalling), but I'm proud of him for doing that as the alternative would be lying in bed and being depressed. We are no further forward in terms of diagnosis (I think he has ASD but hasn't met the nhs threshold for assessment), nor help as his default setting is low mood but when doing things, life is better. I must admit, leaving college has made me worry but I tell myself there is nothing I can do about it. My youngest son is well too and happier this year at school. The worrying never ends! x
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ec
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Post by ec on Jan 12, 2022 16:15:15 GMT
Hi Monica How are you? I hope you had a good Xmas? How are your boys? I hope things are kinda getting back to normal for you after all the Covid drama. I was feeling a lot more relaxed about it especially as I’ve been back at work for a while and my kids are at school. However Ive got a virus at the mo which is making me feel completely wiped out, it’s not Covid but it’s brought mall the health anxiety flooding back. I feel so tired at the mo and the fatigue is a real trigger for the anxiety for me. Then I catastrophize I’ll not get better and will feel like this long term. I don’t know why i can’t accept that people get illnesses in the winter and it’s normal. Ive only felt ill for 2 days but worry it will turn into a catalyst for a long term condition. I know it’s all my past baggage from 2nd pregnancy of physical pni symptoms but I can’t think logically. Anyway just writing it all down helps get the anxiety off my chest. Xx
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Post by monica on Jan 15, 2022 19:52:53 GMT
Hi EC
Happy New Year! Glad that writing stuff down helps to get the worries off your chest - sometimes just doing that can be cathartic. hey we all carry baggage and maybe this is your achilles heel, the health anxiety. Also you've doing amazingly and it might feel like it's all flooding back, but because you've not had it for so long, this anxiety can feel worse than it is.
Don't diminish the pni experience you had - it's trauma pure and simple and that's why this is so painful for you. And even though you are well these experiences are still raw. Also these viral bugs that are everywhere are a bit non descript. so for instance, if you had a boil on your arm you can physically see where the injury is, how it's healing and what you need to do to get better ie take antibiotics, clean it regularly. However, with exhaustion the cause isn't apparent....I always found and still find this vagueness a bit challenging...this will improve over time. And if you do feel it's too much , do seek some sort of professional help such as cbt or the like. it can really help.
Also you are thinking logically. You are able to rationalise even though you don't quite feel what you're thinking. Don't underestimate your ability to do this!
How are your children? Hubby? How's life otherwise? Did you have a good Christmas?
Mine was quite stressful. My mum's has been in hospital following complications following gallbladder removal. . Saying that she's on the mend and hopefully being discharged on Monday. But Christmas involved lots of hospital visits, juggling kids etc and was quite tiring. We did have a nice NYE and a wonder half day spa experience incl massage which was much needed. The kids are ok thanks. The eldest has a good accounting apprenticeship; the middle son still isnt' getting any help but apparently should be offered cbt. he's left college and working full time in a coffee shop. he seems ok but the lack of motivation and low mood are in the back ground where he doesn't have any thing to do. The youngest is well thx!
I forgot to ask - how are you feeling now it's a few days after your virus started x
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ec
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Post by ec on Jan 23, 2022 22:13:53 GMT
Hi Monica I’m sorry to hear your Christmas was stressful and that your mum is unwell. I hope she is out of hospital and feeling better. I hope your middle son gets the help he needs. I found the uncertainty of that age so difficult, not knowing what to do with yourself. Hopefully he’ll work his way through this tricky period. My kids are well thanks. My youngest is 18 months now and growing so fast. We had a good Xmas and new year thanks.
I started to feel a bit better a few days after writing but still felt pretty tired in the evenings. I then had a couple of days of feeling fine but unfortunately now seem to have come down with another cold. Today I felt wiped out again. My husband also felt the same as me today with a heavy head and fatigue. Although he doesn’t like feeling ill (who does) he doesn’t get anxious about feeling exhausted the way I do. I think your right about the trauma of the pni. I had so many symptoms, fatigue being one of them at various points that it brings back those feelings of anxiety. I guess we’ve heard so much about long Covid that I freak out that I’ll get it and never recover. I think o get so confused with physical stuff because i know it can also be mental and that feeling anxious will make the fatigue worse. Just a bit gutted that I now feel so exhausted again but I’m guessing that as my partner feels the same, it’s a virus. I hope to one day be able to be ill without feeling anxious about it or analysing it. I also feel so ungrateful as over the last 2 years I’ve actually felt well apart from the underactive thyroid aches. Did you feel anxious when you felt unwell after the pni experience? Did it take you long to recover from? Xx
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Post by monica on Jan 25, 2022 13:57:05 GMT
Hi EC
I hope you’re feeling better. There’s so many bugs about atm . I guess health anxiety is a bit of an Achilles heel for me though much better than it was. It takes time to recover. Your lo is only 18 months - the experience you had with pni and it’s confusing symptoms is still not that distant. Give it a decade and it won’t be so raw!! Maybe at sone point you’ll want to challenge this and then you can get sone professional help especially if it’s affecting your life. I’m a part time interpreter and worked with a lady who had goal based therapy for difficulty leaving the house and is about to embark on cbt for health anxiety. She made great progress with the former and will also with the latter! I’m sure you will get anxious as time goes on . If you feel overwhelmed do try distraction techniques. They certainly can take the edge of the anxiety.
For me , antids seemed to have a huge positive impact on health anxiety. If I’m honest it was linked to ocd so this was a welcome and unexpected side effects of meds in my case. Atm I have urine infection(I think), and I can feel a bit of anxiety creeping in ….
I can’t believe your youngest is 18 mths! Wow that’s gone fast! My mum is out of hospital and doing ok just quite exhausted but 5 weeks of feeling I’ll and being immobile has affected her fitness. X
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ec
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Post by ec on Jul 2, 2022 19:15:03 GMT
Hi Monica how are you? Can't believe we're in the summer now. Time seems to fly. I hope you mum recovered well from her gall bladder operation and that she's back to full strength. I am very busy at the moment and feel like I'm neglecting my exercise routine which is so important for my mental health. I been suffering aches and pains in my right trapezius muscle in my back and although I've seem a physio I can't say there's been much improvement yet with the exercises he's given me. It's been a bit of a shock to feel the old health anxiety creeping back in after a good period. I think I feel worse because I've had this pull in my back for 4 months a d whilst I have better days it always seems yo come back. I guess it's triggering the pni feelings even though its a totally different situation. Then I get angry with myself for not being able to cope with the frustration of a muscle pull or tear or whatever it is. Anyway I'm sorry, I'm just offloading on here as a way to get my feelings out.
I hope you and your kids are well xx
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