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Post by yoyo on Apr 24, 2006 15:23:43 GMT
Hi Gail
Hope you can get back soon - here for you x x x
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Post by yoyo on May 3, 2006 17:57:27 GMT
Hope you're doing ok x x x Miss you x
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gail
Senior Member
have 1 daughter and have had this since 30 weeks of pregnancy :( my daughter is 27 months.
Posts: 373
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Post by gail on May 12, 2006 20:02:30 GMT
im back!!! at last, the computer has been fixed finally - at a price though ...i dont know how ive survived these few weeks without my daily internet fix! i just want to briefly update you ladies on how im doing (for anyone who wants to read it anyway!) ive been ok, still creeping up that slippery slope. i would say that, all in all, i feel that i am around 85% recovered, which is good. i find that, as my cpn has advised, that to compare improvements by comparing the differences of each month rather than the differences of each day - that way you will always see some degree of difference (better usually!) the thoughts have almost disappeared - they only resurface when im feeling low - and the lows i am feeling lately are not the desperate 'ill' lows of yesteryear, where i would plummett into the unbearable nightmare, instead i am just down, 'fed up' - i do wait tos ee if i slip right down again (as if im expecting it) but i never do, which i guess must be good! im slowly returning to me...its like im awaking from a dark slumber
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Post by susanneb1984 on May 12, 2006 21:25:23 GMT
Hiya hunni, I'm glad you are starting to feel better, your post sounds a lot more positive, it's wonderful when you can have fun again! Hope you continue to go from strength to strength hunni. xxxx
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gail
Senior Member
have 1 daughter and have had this since 30 weeks of pregnancy :( my daughter is 27 months.
Posts: 373
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Post by gail on May 26, 2006 15:15:39 GMT
feeling better still - yesterday i actually felt 100%!! it was amazing, just pushing my girl in the pushchair and actually feeling proud instead of scared and anxious. i do still get my down moments, but theya re not 'ill' downs, just normal 'fed up' downs which are kind of self-indulgent and instead of fighting with all my might the downs because they feel so awful, i just let them wash over me as i am not afraid of them anymore.
also ive noticed that im beginning to need less sleep -great as summer's coming and i want to seize the day. last night i couldnt sleep though, i dont know whay but i suppose we all have our nights when sleeping doesnt come easily - i just hope its not a sign of me going down
the idea of my daughter is also not frightening. i used to look at her and feel just awful, anxious and couldnt comprehend the fact she was my daughter - she was just this little person i had to look after for some reason - i had all the protective instincts the idea of her just didnt sit in my mind in a normal way. now when i wake up i can just stare into her eyes for ages and its slowly dawning on me that-yes- she is actually my baby and yes- i do feel soo happy when shes around and you know the 'mummy' feeling that is so difficult to explain, just when everything falls into place.
i have waited all my life to see my little girl, and now she is finally here. So beautiful and so joyous in our lives. so proud and not afraid anymore. its beginning to be how it should be and how i always thought it would.
just waiting now for my libido to return and everything will be just perfect!!!
love gailxxxxx
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Post by cheshire on May 26, 2006 15:33:06 GMT
Hi Gail Your post cheered me up Glad you're doing so well Hopefulxxxx
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Post by marion on May 26, 2006 18:36:47 GMT
Hi Gail
I am so so happy for you - know what you mean about waiting to see your little girl - occassionally I get a warm feeling about being mum and just want to scoop Chloe up and give her the biggest love - I cant wait till it happens more often for me!
Love Marion.
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gail
Senior Member
have 1 daughter and have had this since 30 weeks of pregnancy :( my daughter is 27 months.
Posts: 373
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Post by gail on May 30, 2006 11:27:32 GMT
hi ladies!
today is great! i actually got out of bed before noon without wanted the crawl under the duvet and stay there! i got up at 8:30, had breakfast, read heat magazine and feel motivated, i think ive reached another turning point - the lethargy is lifting and i actually want to get up in the morning!! wooo hooo
downside is -ive done everything now and am bored hahh not complaining thought -when i was at my worst i could only dream of being bored because it means that you can relax
i hope thins finds you all well, and remember, you do get there -i didnt believe ANYONE when they told me this but i have to eat my hat!
love gailxxx
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Post by yoyo on May 30, 2006 12:10:24 GMT
Well done you It's the best feling in the world isn't it?!!
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gail
Senior Member
have 1 daughter and have had this since 30 weeks of pregnancy :( my daughter is 27 months.
Posts: 373
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Post by gail on Jun 1, 2006 15:37:36 GMT
feeeeeeel normmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happpppppppppy! hahah at last!!!!!!!!! i am falling back in love with my boyfriend too!!!!!!!!
sooooo happy and content today!!!! thank god im back!!!! im back to me again!!!!! its been hell ...complete hell but im nearly there!!!! soo happy!!! id forgotton what its like to be me!!!
love all of you
xxxxxxx
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Post by sarajay28 on Jun 1, 2006 16:03:11 GMT
Awwww Gail,
That is such fantastic news, i know what you mean about feeling content/normal/happy etc, etc.
Well Done
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by cheshire on Jun 1, 2006 16:51:40 GMT
Well done Gail, that's brilliant xxxxx
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gail
Senior Member
have 1 daughter and have had this since 30 weeks of pregnancy :( my daughter is 27 months.
Posts: 373
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Post by gail on Jun 9, 2006 14:21:48 GMT
hi ladies,
just come back from the in-laws in n.wales!...had an ok time - his mother's hard work!
still feeling good -having a long run of good 'normal' days.
although feel a bit panicky today - last night we were playing on the bed and tlws rolled over off the edge of the bed and banged her head. she was fine, but we took her to a and e just to be sure - we (me and d) were both ther, we just couldnt get to her in time - im still in shock i think -it happened so fast and could have been much worse. she cried for a bit but was ok and back to normal then but we wanted a doctor to make sure.
i feel awful. i just cuoldnt get to her in time - it all happened so fast and she fell head first off the bed.
i hope this doesnt begin a set back for me. it was my fault. i just couldnt get there in time. i dont feel as safe holding her now - i keep passing her to d - shes fine though - she hasnt even got a bruise or mark! the doctor sent us home after checkin her -
i cant believe i let this happen.
its done now i suppose, i just have to be thankful it wasnt worse.
im off to sunbathe now!
gail xx
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Post by marion on Jun 9, 2006 14:27:01 GMT
Hi Gail
Chloe fell off the bed when she was younger - they just roll so fast dont they!!!! It wasnt your fault - it's just one of those things! Chloe also fell out her pushchair - now that was my fault as she was 5mths old and had started getting more mobile and I put her in the pushchair without strapping her in. She leant forward and toppled out onto a concrete floor - massive bruise and I felt alwful but she was fine. Must go - she's waking up - but it's not your fault so please dont worry. Love Marion.
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gail
Senior Member
have 1 daughter and have had this since 30 weeks of pregnancy :( my daughter is 27 months.
Posts: 373
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Post by gail on Jun 9, 2006 22:08:08 GMT
thanks marion - i thought i was the only one! well. im feeling a bit 'ill' tonight. i hope this isnt the beginning of a slippery slope. help
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