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Post by sianyc on Nov 30, 2006 8:51:48 GMT
hey KL
Sorry to hear about P being made redundant. It happened to a friends husband recently and I saw how stressed it made the whole family.
Take care. I'm crossing everything in preparation for job interview for him x
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Nov 30, 2006 10:00:23 GMT
Thanks Chica, Tasha and Sian x I'll get on your diaries soon xx
Really stuggling this morning, want to cry but so scared they won't stop. Scared it's going to be the straw that breaks the camels back!
It's 4 weeks to my gorgeous little mans first xmas and look at us
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Post by chica on Nov 30, 2006 10:08:26 GMT
Hi KL, Please try not to worry, I know that these are scarey times for you and you are scared sh..less, but honestly I am a firm believer in fate, and I am sure that just around the corner, there will be new and better opportunities for you all as a family. Hang on in there, I am here for you if you need me. Lots of Love and Hugs Chica
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Post by cheshire on Nov 30, 2006 19:42:30 GMT
KL,
Been following your latest posts
We're here for you
Love and thoughts HopefulXxX
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Post by monica on Dec 1, 2006 16:15:21 GMT
Hi
I'm sorry about your husband. Last thing you need at the mo, I imagine, but hopefully he'll get something soon. Just been catching up and sorry you've been feelign low. The counselling (or rather lack of it) must be such a pain. When things are not going well it always brings teh PNI symtpoms to the forefront, but it's not forever.
I so understand what you were sayign about meeting up with your friend and not belonging. I get that too. A few pals of mine and I (all v nice) meet up regularly andf I went one week adn I wish I hadn't. Left feeling liek a failure, couldn't fit in anywehre and just so low, for no partkucalrly reason. I sort of felt invisible. They all seemd so happy and with it etc. I' know it's not all roses as one of the girls has jsut split up with her hubby but it made me feel worse. I also feel like that soemtimes at work.
But things will get better. I seem to get these blips less often know and you will too.
Anyway, sending you a virutal hug.
monica
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Dec 4, 2006 8:21:17 GMT
Thanks Chica, Hopeful and Monica - hope things are going well for you all x
Story so far - I looked into empoyee rights etc and it turns out now that P has been offered a lower position and can take it on a trial basis and then opt for redundancy at any poimt through that period so that's what h's doing. At least this gives us a 4 wek window to find another job and keeps the money coming in. New job is the same pay, only difference is that he loses the company car so we'd have to buy one. Feel a little better about the situation and like P says at least he has a job and keeps the roof over our head - bless him!
Had a phone call from counselling co-ordinator on Friday to offer an afternoon appointment. I took this as a sign to tell my brother and sister in law becasue she only works mornings. Ebventually told them over the weekend a didn't get the reaction I expected. Was just asked how long and had I seen a 'shrink'. Still spent time trying to defend my feeding choices for the little man even after my admission. My point being why does a 7 month old need chocolate and no I don't think it's cruel not giving him it! I spent the rest of the weekend desperately wishing I could turn back time because I wouldn't have told them. Will post more later, feel quite down at the minute and again not belonging.
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Post by beverley on Dec 4, 2006 10:24:45 GMT
Hi KL,
I'm glad that P's situation isn't as grim as you first thought. I hope he gets something sorted soon. Is a Friday afternoon appointment a good thing?
Well done for telling your brother and sister in law - so difficult. I'm sorry that they weren't more supportive - I think sometimes people don't really know what to say. Also, PNI is so poorly understood that I think it's all a bit of a minefield for people.
I also have these problems about other people's attitudes to EJ's feeding. I will be avoiding all junk for as long as possible and only allow water as a drink. Whilst he doesn't know about lemonade / chocolate / crisps then he can't feel he's missing out!! Well done for sticking to your guns - you're right and they're not (purely because he's your child and therefore it's your decision which automatically makes you right!!)
I also relate to your comment aboug feeling that you don't belong. To be honest I've had that all my life and have only really felt that I belong when I'm with Hubby. I met some friends from antenatal - there are 8 of us and we all gelled really well. I've never heard any back-biting at all from any of them, yet I still feel an outsider with them. I'm sure it comes from me rather than from them as they're all really nice people.
Hope you're feeling a bit better
xxxx
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Dec 4, 2006 13:24:22 GMT
Thanks LA - hope your cold is better and the feeding is improving.
Where was I? Yes, the counselling. I've text my sister in law this am to say I'm not going on Friday. I may be being premature but I seem to have felt worse since I started the counselling. It's not from past issues because I don't have any. I think it just reminded me how bad I felt, how vulnerable I am and how much guilt I carry around with me. It also means I don't have to depend o anyone to look after the little man for me.
I'm still really angry about the feeding thing. I wouldn't dream of questionning someone on how they bring their child up, unless of course it may cause harm. The sad thing too is that this still happened after I admitted that I'd been suffering from pni without telling anyone.
I seem to have been feeling low for a little while now. Like I'm treading on quicksand and terrified I'm going to sink. I'm finding it really hard to talk to P about it so haven't really got anyone now. I have the feeling again that I don't want to be where I am but also don't know where I want to be but want to take the little man with me, teething or no teething!!!
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Post by winegirl on Dec 4, 2006 15:52:41 GMT
Hi Kl
Sorry you are so down at the moment. And you do have people to talk to, US! I know what you mean about not wanting to be where you are. I get that sometimes too. But things are looking a little brighter for you if you break it down, and just rememer its only this stupid illness makin g you think and feel the way you do and its not forever.
I think maybe you should reconsider the counselling. It is bound to make you feel worse initially because you are analysing everything that is wrong with you and thats all you end up thinking about, but a few more sessions and you might deal with it differently? And you can explain to the counsellor how this session has made you feel? Not telling you what to do by the way ( I have a bad habit of sounding pretty bossy at times), just want you to make sure you are doing the right thing.
Always here for support mate x
Winegirl x
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Post by sianyc on Dec 6, 2006 16:02:29 GMT
Sorry you're having a blip chicken
As winegirl says, we're here for you when you need us
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tasha
Full member
Posts: 40
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Post by tasha on Dec 6, 2006 21:00:30 GMT
Hello, I can relate so much 2 you at the mo, having a rough time 2!
"I'm finding it really hard to talk to P about it so haven't really got anyone now. I have the feeling again that I don't want to be where I am but also don't know where I want to be but want to take the little man with me"
Thinking of you xx tasha
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Dec 7, 2006 20:20:18 GMT
Thanks Winegirl, Sian and Tasha x
Had a bad few days, lots of tears, not very much sleep and the constant feeling of being useless and worthless. Have started to text P little bits through the day to give him an idea on how I feel but still will not talk about it when he comes home. Can't work it out unless it's less shameful to text than speak how I feel.
P has got an interview on Tuesday for a managers post so fingers crossed. Would be lovely if he could get it and then have redundancy and a couple of weeks break.
Started wrapping xmas presents and writing cards today, hopefully it will make me feel a bit more organised.
Going to try and get out for a bit tomorrow if the rain and horrendous wind ever stop!
Going to give it another week and if my mood doesn't improve then I suppose it'll be time to go to the doctors again x
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Post by cheshire on Dec 7, 2006 21:39:40 GMT
Hi KL
Hope all goes well on Tuesdayx
Hope tomorrow's brighter for youx
Love Hopefulx
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Post by beverley on Dec 8, 2006 8:15:37 GMT
Hi KL,
All the best for P for Tuesday.
So sorry you're feeling bad again. Almost everything you post mirrors how I feel - I'm just the same about talking to Hubby too, so I completely understand and relate to what you're saying and feeling.
I also seem to think that I will feel better if I got more organinsed - yet probably there will always be something else to do, regardless of how much we've done. Being a mother really is a treadmill at times isn't it?
I hope today is a little brighter for you,
Thinking of you xxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Dec 11, 2006 12:33:43 GMT
Hi Kl
Sorry things aren't so great at the moment. Well done you on being so organised with xmas! Wish I could be so proactive! I hope everything goes ok for P tomorrow, will keep my fingers crossed for you both. Hopefully today was a better day for you? Take care of yourself Winegirl x
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