clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 9, 2007 20:40:41 GMT
Thanks J it must be so much harder with two especially when both are ill. My son seemed a little better today but he's teething so only as ok as he can be. Teething is just so relentless. I hope yours are on the mend.
I went out for a short walk today which I haven't done for a few days. The sadness has lifted slightly and haven't had any thoughts about killing myself. My OH has annoyed me today. I did tell him yesterday that I wasn't feeling so good but whenever I say this I always find he acts worse. I'm going to stop telling him.
I felt so drained today I feel like I haven't been very good with my son. It just seemed so much effort to entertain him today and all I wanted to do was lie down in a dark room. He was in the bed again last night and I didn't get very much sleep. It was like this at xmas when he was last teething and it went on for ages. Gahh.....
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 10, 2007 21:15:12 GMT
Another bad night with my son in the bed most of the night. I am feeling so tired. He has an awful cough now and cutting teeth so I know it is going to be like this for a little while.
Today though has actually been better than the last few. Went for a lovely long walk and the sun was shining...so that lifted me a little.
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Post by sianyc on Mar 11, 2007 14:11:16 GMT
Hang in there - a smiley day is on it's way soon x
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 12, 2007 21:18:01 GMT
Thanks Sianyc,
I am finding it difficult to interact with other people. I think my difficulty with this started a couple of days ago but it has gotten worse today. I just don't seem to know what to say to people, then I feel like I say the wrong thing and then I'm worried or feel stupid or both.
I am feeling really distanced as if it's not really me talking. It might be a bit of dep/der plus I am so so tired. My OH has been feeling ill for the last couple of days and so I've been doing everything.
I also feel like my memory is going. This was really bad a few months ago but it has gotten worse again. My brain is just not functioning very well again. I've started worrying that I might need to up my meds. I don't know.
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Post by Jay on Mar 12, 2007 23:06:26 GMT
Hi You sound like me, where my anxiety and adrenaline is going all the time so I am so tired all the time and seem to be stuck in a circle. Heart - explained it to me she is a nurse. And I know it sounded sense. I also can't remember things, and even this place, I am getting in a muddle who I have posted to. It all sometimes seem a bit out of control and it is a bit frightening when we are not in control, that the feeling I get. I think!!
Sorry that you feel not so good at the moment. Take care, Suzi xx
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 13, 2007 21:05:54 GMT
Thank you Suzi I think that sounds right. I am still having trouble with this today. I feel like I can't talk to people. After a while on my meds I felt really confident and chatty but at the moment I am the complete opposite.
I went to see a friend this afternoon and I just don't feel at ease with myself or what I am saying. My memory is feeling really bad as well. It is like a wire is faulty somewhere in my brain. I'm not sure if it's the meds or what?
I called someone I know well by the wrong name yesterday and it freaked me out. Not only did I feel really embarrassed but it worried me that I am losing my mind a bit. I am really tired so this isn't helping.
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Post by sianyc on Mar 13, 2007 22:05:57 GMT
The fuzzy brain could just be because you're tired.
I know exactly what you mean about not knowing what to say to people and then worrying that you've said something wrong or silly. I often had concerns like this, especially when I first went back to work
My brain is always fuzzy when I'm tired and run down though so it's sometimes hard to tell with me whether it's 'normal' or PNI
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 14, 2007 20:31:47 GMT
Thanks Sianyc I think you are right about the tiredness today I wasn't as bad. I felt like my brain was starting to work again and I managed to hold a few normal conversations. I know I am sooo tired as last night my son woke up crying and my OH went and got him This has rarely happened as he is such a heavy sleeper but I slept through it. It hasn't been too bad a day really best one for a little while.
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Post by Jay on Mar 14, 2007 23:23:35 GMT
Hi Clarey
Glad you felt a bit better today.
I have a habit of getting half way through a conversation then suddenly forget what I am talking about. So I now tell people that is what happens at the moment. It makes them laugh for a second, then they catch me up what we were talking about.
I had a better day today as well, so perhaps it was the sunshine. Walking home from work my head was a mixture of dizzy, fuzz with a fog like feel to it. Does that description sound familiar?? But after eating it went away again.
Hope you manage to sleep tonight, Talk soon Suzi xx
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 17, 2007 21:23:01 GMT
Yes Suzi I know that feeling very well. The dizziness still comes on with me now and again.
Not had too bad a few days really. My OH is being moody which always brings me down. He can be very selfish at times.
My son is not sleeping due to teething and is in our bed most nights. So I am feeling so tired still. I have been going to bed really early as I just can't seem to stay awake past 9.
My mother in law did say something that I have taken to heart. She isn't sleeping well herself and I offered her some herbal tablets I got given but in response she said "oh I like to get through things like this myself. I feel if I take tablets I am a bit of a fraud..I know you take your little bits and pieces [meaning antid's and diazepam] which is good that you do". Is she trying to tell me I'm weak? I'm not sure.. but served to remind me how ignorant people are about PNI. When my OH told her I was taking antid's her response to this was "oh they give these things out far too easily these days".
I haven't let it get to me too much.. firstly I'm too knackered and secondly this is a women who is rather Victorian in her attitude to women.
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 19, 2007 20:25:54 GMT
My son is still not sleeping. I am so tired. He hasn't slept in his own bed now for nearly 2 weeks and it's getting to me. He still has the most awful cough as well. Plus he has decided that 6 is the time to start the day. Before his recent teeth cutting he would sleep mostly until 7. The thing is is that he won't go to bed until 8 either so I have very little time to myself.
I have my second funeral of the year on wednesday. An old work friend sadly passed away. She went in for a routine op and they discovered she had cancer everywhere. She never woke up from the anaesthetic.
Today isn't a good one anyway as it's the anniversary of the death of my close friend who passed away 11 years ago now. It seemed fitting that the weather was cold and horrible.
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Post by monica on Mar 20, 2007 18:52:23 GMT
Hi
how are you? How was yesterday? It must have been hard for you with the funeral and the anniversay of your friend's death. Thinking of you.......
Can you get a ngiht away for a break from your son. It's os tiring if they're not well and waking you up during the night. My son had a temperature the other day and I was a complete zombie. When you'[re knackered everything seems worse too. How is your little one?
Love
Monica
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 20, 2007 20:39:48 GMT
Thank you Monica. The funeral is tomorrow and I'm dreading it. My son is still not sleeping. Last night he was in with me from 10.30 . However, this morning I had a tooth check and he has cut 3 out of the 4 canines now so nearly there. I am getting a bit worried because I am so tired all the time. I know a part of it is my son at night but it reminds me of the utter weariness I had months ago. I am scared it is coming back. I have no energy to do anything and this is how I was before the big breakdown last summer.
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Mar 21, 2007 20:59:23 GMT
Funeral today This time in March has always been blighted for me. It always seems to be the anniversary of sad occasions. I also had a counselling session today which I talked about a few things that now make a bit more sense. If I hadn't had the counselling I am sure I would be feeling a lot worse. Still had no sleep last night. I woke up precariously lying on the edge of the bed with my son and OH occupying the rest of the space. I creaked my neck as well during the process so I haven't been able to turn my head left all day
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Post by claire99991 on Mar 21, 2007 22:09:23 GMT
Hiya just to let you know im reading your posts to see how you are getting on
*hugz*
claire xx
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