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Post by jmontan27 on Apr 30, 2007 20:01:30 GMT
Have come down with a bad cold - just exacerbates all my other symptoms. Feel like sh*t. Typically, it's on a day when I've got both the children at home. Ali is wound up like a coiled spring, running round the house, so I had to take them out this afternoon to the park and library. Luckily, it's nice weather. I was holding Reli on my lap this afternoon, when I felt my calf muscle twitching. I looked down and it was going really powerfully. All I could think was how long before I can't walk anymore?
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Post by sianyc on May 1, 2007 13:49:25 GMT
How did your trip out go?
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on May 2, 2007 20:09:13 GMT
Hi J,
How are you doing? I keep having a tingling/twitching muscle in my back and a few days ago I wasn't feeling so good I convinced myself it was something nerodegenerative.
I expect with your calf muscle it may have been the way you were holding Reli? I used to get something similar driving with my leg if I held it in a position for too long. Also when I have been unwell my PNI seems to go into overdrive. I hope you are feeling a little better,
Love Clareyxx
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Post by jmontan27 on May 5, 2007 18:35:37 GMT
Thanks Clarey
I try to tell myself that there may be a simple explanation when one of my muscles starts twitching, but it's the fact that I seem to experience these twitches much more often than other people that worries me.
I am staying at my in-laws for the bank holiday weekend which is providing a bit of a diversion from the mundanety of normal life, even though the temperature has dropped by about ten degrees.
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on May 7, 2007 20:52:13 GMT
Hi J,
Hope you had a good weekend at the in-laws. Sometimes going somewhere else is a comforting distraction.
How have you been feeling?
Love Clareyxx
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Post by jmontan27 on May 9, 2007 19:12:12 GMT
Hi Clarey - back from the in-laws now! Finally got on top of the washing today; it takes almost as long to unpack and sort out as it does to pack. Was dreading yesterday as Ali had his pre-school boosters. All my friends whose children have already had them warned me it would be a nightmare (they have 2 now days, one in each arm). However, I went into great detail explaining what would happen and that it would hurt for a bit afterwards (also promised chocolate buttons!), and Ali was as good as gold. Nurse was shocked he didn't make a fuss and didn't even want a sticker, so that is a relief.
We are up to our eyes in debt, since I stopped working. All our bank accounts are up to their overdraft limits and it has got to the stage where I am starting to really worry about it. Credit card bill gets bigger every month. I want to go back to work but the childcare costs would be extortionate so it is a catch-22. Also, with Ali starting school in September, I have to be around to take/collect him. Sometimes I look back to my child-free days when I was never in debt and wonder how it all went wrong.
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Post by sianyc on May 9, 2007 21:06:07 GMT
Know what you mean about the debt thing - kids bleed us dry!
Is there anything you can do around school hours?
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on May 10, 2007 20:45:16 GMT
Hi J, How have things been today? I know what you mean about the debt thing. I need to get something else really but I am afraid of all the things that this would entail. We are struggling financially too. I have become quite thrifty though and have been managing to buy a lot of stuff at carboot sales like toys and stuff. Hey, I still haven't paid back my student loans from over 10 years ago yet Love and Hugs, Clareyxx
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Post by jmontan27 on May 10, 2007 21:40:17 GMT
Hi Clarey Things haven't been too bad today except since lunch time I have had a horrible headache and nausea feeling. Thought it would go off but it hasn't. Went round a friend's house for our "postnatal" group meeting. We have been meeting for 4 years now. It was funny as she has a 10 month old and I always joked she would walk before Reli who is 15 months old. Well, it turns out she pulled up this week for the first time and so did Reli! Our family are notoriously slow at learning to walk (I was 18 months, OH's brother was 20 months). I thought Ali was slow because he was 15 months when he started walking, but I reckon Reli will be 17 / 18 months. He is so heavy to carry round - over 26lbs. Anyway...yes, I love carboot sales, but rarely get ready in time to go to them! I get the kids a fair bit of stuff from charity shops and ebay. It's quite good because when they grow out of the toys you can just take them back to the charity shop again!
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Post by jmontan27 on May 12, 2007 16:03:00 GMT
Was lying reading in bed last night when I felt a muscle twitching in my leg. Looked down and I could see it twitching. Just completely freaked out and started hyperventilating and shouting at my OH "see I told you I have MND". he saw it twitching but said it didn't mean anything, but to me it is just further proof that I have got a neuro disease and it is not all in my head. Couldn't get my breath for 10 minutes and OH didn't know what to do, kept saying "shall I make you a cup of tea?" (It was midnight) and trying to get me to walk around and distract me. After that I didn't stop shaking for ages and kept saying "I don't want to die". Got up a 1am and walked round the house, but couldn't calm down. Today I have just been miserable all day thinking about this muscle twitching and wishing I didn't experience them. Haven't done anything constructive.
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on May 23, 2007 20:39:26 GMT
Hi J,
How are things? I noticed you haven't posted in a little while hope you are feeling ok.
Love Clareyxx
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Post by jmontan27 on May 31, 2007 11:44:07 GMT
Thanks for thinking about me Clarey. The truth is I've just felt too tired to post. Since I last wrote anything, I have had two visits to the psychiatrist. The first one was just for an assessment to see which form of therapy would benefit me most. Thankfully, they agreed to put me on the waiting list for cognitive therapy, but there is a 3-4 month wait (already waited 4 months since my GP first referred me). By that time my eldest will have started school, so I don't know whether I'll be able to do it anyway as I have no one I can ask to look after the children. I've been told the therapy can go on for anything from 12 to 20 weeks.
A couple of weeks ago I saw the Dr and nurse who specialised in PNI. I was full of hope for this appointment as I was thinking I'd be speaking to people who really understood. However, unfortunately the whole thing was a bit of a let down. Basically the Dr wasn't really interested unless I went on antidepressants, which she agreed I didn't need at the moment because I tend to suffer more from bouts of anxiety. I asked about diazepan for when I feel panicky but they said they didn't believe in prescribing that anymore. My mental health social worker had told me about a PND support group run by the specialist nurse for mothers experiencing this, but when I asked about it, the nurse said she didn't feel it was appropriate for me "at this time". She didn't really explain why, but I got the impression that it was for mums with babies under a year (she told me that PNI is most common in the first year, so I don't know whether she thought I couldn't have it). I also got the impression that they applied a particular set of symptoms to their definition of PNI and because I didn't feel all of them, I wasn't welcome. I then asked whether they thought what I was experiencing was related to having a baby and they said yes, so I really don't understand why they didn't want me to go to this group. Actually, it made me feel a bit rejected.
Oh well. I am going away for a week next week to Dorset which should be nice for the children as we haven't had a holiday since Ali was born 4 years ago.
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on May 31, 2007 20:11:06 GMT
Hi J,
Good to hear from you. Sorry your appointment was a let-down and that you felt rejected. I know a few months back I felt that because my son was nearly a year when I was really bad I wasn't offered as much support than say if he was a few weeks old. I know that my mum had PNI when my brother was 15 months so it most certainly isn't limited to the first year.
It's great that you have a lovely holiday to look forward to. Whereabouts in Dorset are you going?
Take care, Love Clareyxx
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Post by jmontan27 on May 31, 2007 21:15:49 GMT
We're going to Weymouth - I hear they have nice sand there!
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clarey
Senior Member
Posts: 327
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Post by clarey on Jun 4, 2007 20:48:20 GMT
Hi J,
Weymouth is lovely I have been there a few times. I hope you are having a relaxing time!!
Love Clareyxx
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