|
Post by cheshire on Jul 1, 2007 15:38:43 GMT
Hope today was better for youx
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 1, 2007 15:45:10 GMT
Had a few tears last night, made me feel bit better. Today been a good day so far. My OH got up with the three boys this morning and took them out to McDonalds for breakfast leaving me in bed. They woke me up with a coffee at half eight - Lovely!
Things started to go downhill before lunch when boys started arguing then being really hyper. Managed to divert them several times on to quieter calmer activities. Took me half an hour to clean up from the cutting and sticking though!
After lunch OH took the three boys to visit grandma. The quiet is bliss. I've done an hours ironing, and put it all away, cleaned the bathrooms and tidied the bedrooms. I feel so happy that the house is cleaner. Got a black bin bag out and ruthlessly threw away loads of things that have been cluttering the place up. Now I reckon I've just got time to sit and catch up with an episode of Holby I've recorded, or maybe I'll just go back to bed for a little while.
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 2, 2007 18:53:31 GMT
Monday.
I've had a difficult day today. Felt really fretful and afraid on my own. Didn't want to leave the house but made myself as my councellor said only way to get better. I had to buy a kettle as the one we've got has decided not to switch itself off.
I drove to Argos, but when I got there I decided I didn't want to get out the car so I set off home. Then I gave myself a talking to and told myself to stop being so stupid and turned the car around and went back. Managed to get out the car this time and went into the shop. I could not believe how many different kettles there were- they must sell at least 50. So this was my next problem - I didn't know which to chooose. My heart was pounding so much I thought I was going to have heart failure and I could take it no more and walked out of Argos still minus a kettle.
I really don't understand why I can't make a decision any more. Is this just me? I feel like a freak.
Anyway, once back in the safety of my car I looked at my hands and I was shaking like a leaf. Sat and concentrated on calming down for a while before I tried to drive home.
I don't think my councellor is right about forcing myself to do something when I really can't face it. I achieved nothing today. I didn't get a kettle and I made myself ill. Will discuss this with her next time I see her.
Once back home I locked the doors and stayed inside where I was mostly OK. Found myself feeling very empty though. Couldn't truely feel like I wanted to play with my baby - just going through the motions. Truth is I just wanted to sit and stare at the wall. Felt very lonely too, but if anyone had said they'd come over I wouldn't have wanted it - no-one can win!!
Hope I have a better day tomorrow.
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 4, 2007 19:08:03 GMT
Oh my god what an evening!
All 3 boys absolutely shattered and real hard work. Tomas has been on a nursery trip so thats tired him out, and Theo has been at nursery all day and wouldn't have his naps. Its taken about two hours to get them bathed, in their pjs and into bed - and only ever did get Theo into the bath!
Tomas got out of bed 100s of times - I was at my wits end. Said to my husband I can't be doing with them and he got really narky with me. Apparantly I "cant say that". Well I did and it was true. Funny thing was half an hour later he declared that Tomas was doing his head in?? Not sure what the difference is but I couldn't be bothered to ask him and get into an arguement. I'm too tired.
Got a splitting headache. Going to bed, early night again.
|
|
|
Post by helenr on Jul 4, 2007 19:43:33 GMT
Hun, I struggle with my two sometimes, never mind with 3!
I found concentrating on baby steps was best for me, ok you didn't get the kettle, but you turned the car round AND went into the shop.
Although I would say I'm in recovery, I still struggle with the concentration thing. I tend to do my shop online, which I only started during pni, and sometimes all that comes is crap and none of the nessecities.
Try to get some sleep, love and hugs x
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 5, 2007 18:10:31 GMT
Didn't know if I was coming or going this morning. Boys created a whirlwind of mayhem. In the end I could cope no more and sent them outside to play whilst I got baby ready and in his pushchair for the walk to school. Five mins at most later Jake shouts "Mummy look what Tomas has done". He had taken loads of cherries off the cherry tree and squashed them. He had cherry juice all over his face, hands and t-shirt. I was FUMING!!
Once I got him cleaned up I took Jake to school and breathed a sigh of relief. Came home and put Theo down for a nap and put on cbeebies for Tomas. Then I got on with putting the washing on the line. Next thing I knew Tomas was at the back door saying "Mummy I'm really sorry it was an accident ...". I could not believe my eyes ... He was wearing a pair of brand new pair of expensive shorts and he had cut a hole in them with a pair of scissors. I would have been cross if they were hand me downs but flipping heck I only took the label off these this morning. I could not speak and my head was .... don't know where. Went and sat on my own for 5 mins and calmed myself down.
After that we did have quite a good day. Went to local shop for a few bits. Later we made and decorated loads of buns. Tea time went well without Tomas moaning about what he'd been given and we got them bathed and to bed with no shouting or arguements!! Yeah. Feeling quite calm now, and I must admit I'm even managing a smile as I look back on the day and think about Tomas' face as he stood in front of me with red juice splats dripping down his nose and cheeks.
Roll on the weekend...
|
|
|
Post by sianyc on Jul 6, 2007 7:43:15 GMT
Hi Em
It made me giggle just because I was pleased that someone else's kids did the same sort of things! Just when I think I'm sorted for the day, one of them tips something all over the carpet or rubs something in their brand spanking new t-shirt ...... drives me bananas in a good way .......hugely annoying at the time and funnier when they're in bed and you've got some peace
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 7, 2007 19:45:18 GMT
:)Saturday Had a GOOD day!!! Yeah!! ;D This morning hubby took eldest 2 out to footy training and this gave me an hour to do some much needed cleaning whilst Theo had a nap. Made me feel so much better when I could see all the washing put away in wardrobes and drawers, toys picked up and put away, floors hoovered etc etc. This afternoon I drove over to see my mum and dad. They don't live far away but I don't see much of them. Had a really nice time. Boys really enjoyed themselves running around the garden and getting lots of attention. As I was feeling up on the way home from my folks house I popped in to see a friend. Not done this for a very long time. I am really chuffed.
|
|
|
Post by helenr on Jul 8, 2007 19:20:48 GMT
WELL DONE!
So glad you had a good day, hope you're really proud of everything you acheived! love and hugs x
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 9, 2007 11:54:56 GMT
My youngest 2 boys are poorly - again. Didn't get much sleep last night they kept crying and wanting cuddles. Stood cryin my eyes out in Tomas' bedroom in middle of the night. I was so tired and he wouldn't stop crying. Saturday seems like a distant memory now.
Just given them both a spoonful of medised and put them down for a nap. Should get myself to bed for an hour but need to do lots of jobs. Had 20 mins sit down with a coffee - what more do I want??!
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 9, 2007 18:57:40 GMT
I feel rubbish. I look such a mess. Really tired and struggled to cope today. Hope the kids sleep through the night 2day. A mum at school made a comment about how tired and ill I look this afternoon - Cheers 4 that - just what I wanted to hear.
My OH came in from work and one of first things he said was "I need to get the hoover out - there are crumbs on the floor". I didn't say anything but got the feeling he thought it should have been tidy already. I had already had the bloody hoover out twice 2day.
He's made a few comments that make me think he's feeling like a bit of rumpy pumpy when we go to bed. I hope not. I really want to be hugged but nothing else. I feel like such a disappointment.
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 10, 2007 18:49:37 GMT
I'm so desperately unhappy. Just want to curl up under my quilt and hide from everyone and cry my eyes out.
Not been able to eat a thing today, got no appetite and when my hubby made me tea I just could not swallow it.
I feel like c**p. Can't cope with this much more. HV coming to see me 2moro, quite please cos I really need some support right now.
|
|
|
Post by cheshire on Jul 10, 2007 22:47:45 GMT
Hi Em,
Hope visit by HV goes well. Let us know how you get on? I always found it helped to talk things through Hope tomorrow is a bit better for youx
Hopefulx
|
|
Em
Full member
Mum of 3 lil boys aged 6, 3 and 11 months.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Em on Jul 11, 2007 18:40:21 GMT
Thank you!
Thought I was a mess before nothing to what I look like today. I cried and cried for ages last night. My eyes all red and swollen up today. This am was contemplating phoning my sons school and saying he was ill so that I didn't have to see the other mums. I didn't - instead I took him a few mins late so they had all gone. Was relieved not to see anyone.
Been in a bit of a daze today. I'm so worn out and sapped of energy. God knows what health visitor thought when she saw me - but I don't really care anyway. I was relieved to see her. Didn't like her coming to begin with but now I have realised she's helping more than anything else. She's only person I see that knows what to say to me. Everyone else is at a loss! She's coming back on Friday to check up on me.
When it was time to pick my kids up I hid behind my sunglasses - was glad its been sunny. My OH late home from work today so I had to cope with tea, bath and bed time alone. Really proud of myself cos I did it with no problems at all. Bet he expected to come home to chaos - well he didn't - ha!!
|
|
|
Post by winegirl on Jul 11, 2007 19:25:36 GMT
Hi Emma
Well done on getting so much done today! I find that sometimes it is so much easier to just cop out, but much more uplifting in the long run to get on with things. You did really well, and you definately should be proud of yourself.
Hope you have another productive day tomorrow!
Take Care
Winegirl x
|
|