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Post by winegirl on Oct 12, 2007 12:08:55 GMT
Hi Liz
I was HORRIBLE to my parents at her age and actually moved out at 16. I deeply regret it now as my parents were fab and always very supportive of me. I think its a difficult time where they think they are ready to be adults, but they really aren't but you cant tell them that.
By the time she hits 17 she will prob do what i did and go the other way. I suddenly woke up and respected my parents and have subsequently had a fab relationship with them.
Can't blame you for having to escape to the gym hun! I unfortunately escape to the wine bottle, the gym sounds like a much more sensible option!
Winegirl x
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 12, 2007 14:54:04 GMT
I rarely drink at the best of times but think I might drown my sorrows if I start now !! I got to the gym and I felt quite good coming home as I had done everything I intended. I was awful to my mum and did apologise and try to make it up to her but I was never allowed to forget anything. I wouldnt mind so much if daughter aimed everything at me but the little ones are being affected. Anyway, just popped on to check emails and thought I would nip in here. Liz x
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 13, 2007 13:33:49 GMT
Having a really crap day. Not sure my marriage is going to survive as basically I am selfish for wanting me time. I need to find some strength to get through this. Liz x
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Post by cheshire on Oct 13, 2007 13:51:17 GMT
Hi Liz
Been there too - sending you positive thoughts and support
Love, Hopefulxxxx
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 14, 2007 11:52:15 GMT
Had a good chat with hubby and think he realises how I feel a bit more now. I have told him that I do realise how much it affects him but I am being selfish at the moment so I can feel better and get back on top of life again. Got down the gym this morning and met the family afterwards at local shops so have done my bit for today. Hubby at work tonight but then off until Wednesday. All in all thinks looking better, just wish I could make it easier on my poor hubby. Liz x
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Post by winegirl on Oct 14, 2007 12:06:33 GMT
Hi Liz
Things are like this with me and my OH with me bein totally selfish about things while i try to get better, but i dont regeret it, we have to do what we need to to get through it.
Glad chat went well with hubby x
Winegirl x
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 17, 2007 10:56:11 GMT
Just got back from the gym and am knackered lol. I actually ran on the treadmill today, I dont run anywhere usually lol. I need to push myself to get to the gym still but find it quite good therapy when I get there. Things OK ish at home. I am still really up and down and hubby still getting it in the neck. I do feel like I can think a lot more clearly than before, actually more clearly than I have in a long time. Am wondering if I felt like this long before but never really noticed Liz x
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Post by winegirl on Oct 17, 2007 11:56:07 GMT
Hi Liz
Glad things are improving for you! Going to the gym really seems to be a good thing in helping you too. Hope the rest of your day goes well x
Winegirl x
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 17, 2007 19:04:49 GMT
Oh well, so much for talking to hubby and sorting things out. I just feel like I am going to be better off on my own. I think he has just realised how hard the younger ones are at the moment. Thanks to 15 year old ignoring etc they are doing the same. I told hubby ages ago the only way to deal with it is if we work together but he doesnt ever listen. If he is on his own with them then nothing gets done at all as he cant do anything while looking after kids. This is half my problem, I cannot just step back as the place is like a tip and I cant do it all on my own. We had a row earlier and he has said he cant be bothered to do anything so why should he. I am feeling really stressed as sat in bedroom on my own yet again. He would rather play on his playstation than be with me as all I do is watch my 'boring' programmes. He said earlier 'now you know why I would rather be at work than her' !! He has made me feel like I am a boring waste of space. He has always depended on me to do everything for him and I think that now I am starting to think clearly I may be realising I have been clinging to someone for support as I am scared of being alone again. I think he does love me but cannot understand that a marriage isnt all about one person doing everything. His family consist of dominating mum and dad who just agrees to keep the peace. I think he wants me to do everything the way his mum did, feel like a landlady rather than wife most of the time. I have tried to explain that I need to get more sleep at teh moment as feeling really drained and I am in bed by 9 most nights when he is at work. Why can my life not be normal, there is a lot in my past that I havent talked about on here but I really thought I had found someone who would be there for me no matter what. Going to try and get some sleep as he has taken youngest downstairs in travel cot after he made me feel like I cant even look after my own son. Am so glad I have my diary to moan at Liz x
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Post by Jay on Oct 17, 2007 19:27:37 GMT
Hi Liz
I don't know why it is such a job to get our men and the family to help us. A lot of what you have written sounds so familiar. It all seem a bit unfair too.
You sound really tired and fed up, and I wish I could help you more than just offer a HUG.
My OH is off sick, I've been at work today and come home to the sink and draining board full. He has gone into 'I'm a man, and now I'm poorly I can't do anything at all' mode. He does not do much when he is ok either!
I hope after some sleep you feel better.
Love from Jay xx
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Post by winegirl on Oct 17, 2007 19:46:25 GMT
Hi Liz
I am really cross at your Hubby for you. If you can't get any support from him right now is there anyone else that can give you a hand with things? If it were me i would need 10 peoples pairs of hands with your lot!
I don't really know what to suggest or say hun, just wanted to send you a hug (())) and tell you am thinking of you x
Winegirl x
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 17, 2007 19:57:23 GMT
No I dont have anyone else at all. What little family I have left dont talk to me. Friends are non existant thanks to ex . Just feeling so down at the moment, just when I thought everything was going OK. Story of my life really, I get up then get knocked down again. Feeling sorry for myself again but if nobody else will I might as well do it. You lot are a real help as I know there is someone out there who gives a damn at the moment. Have a stinking headache and cant sleep so will be sat watching tv all night I expect. Hubby decided to bring son back upstairs when he fell asleep so I told him I will sort him out so he doesnt have to come near me at all. There is a lot of resentment in my life as I feel like I have spent my whole life caring for others and supporting them but there is nobody there for me. Liz x
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Post by winegirl on Oct 17, 2007 20:05:11 GMT
Oh Liz
Are you anywhere near the midlands? If you are i will com and give you a hand hun x I know what you mean about lack of suport. I only have my parents who both work full time too and my OH who works 6 days a week so know how isolating it can all feel.
Don't worry hun, we are here for you to care for you x
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Post by southerngirl on Oct 17, 2007 20:37:34 GMT
Am on the south coast so thanks for the offer but may be a little far for you to come I wish I could just get hubby to realise that I am not here just for everyone else but for me too. I think he resents the fact I am getting my life back and am not depending on him so much. I used to panic if he wasnt here and be so stressed but am coping much easier now. I do feel he has never supported me and there have been a few occasions I can think of when he could have put me first but thought of himself and really hurt my feelings. example is 2 days after having my son, hurt my back and could hardly walk and he asks if he is OK to go to his sport of choice ( not saying too much as its an open forum) I actually couldnt believe he was even thinking about going and justt old him to do what he liked. He knew I was struggling but went and left me with no support at all. It is things like this that have really hurt me and made me realise that maybe I am always there for him but him not there for me. Yes he has been good most of the time but I need more than just a week or so of doing odd bits. I need him to be a husband and not to treat me like his mum. I am hoping that feeling like this is just my way of working through things in my head as if its not then I can see me being on my own before long. Liz x
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Post by winegirl on Oct 17, 2007 20:58:40 GMT
Can you show him any of your posts here so he can understand how you feel? Or, i know it sounds wierd, perhaps write him a letter explaining. Perhaps make him prick his ears up and pay attention?
Now you have told me you are on south coast i really want to come and help out! I love it down there! Tried to persuade my OH to move down to Bourmenouth/Poole area but he wont have a bar of it!
I have to say that if my OH had cleared off out 2 days after giving birth, with or without a bad back, i would have gone mad. Perhaps you should tell him about these things so he can see how unreasonable he is being?
Sending you hugs x
Winegirl x
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